Homvanxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, charitable chicken.

Homvanxuc created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Homvanxuc, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Homvanxuc, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Homvanxuc's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Homvanxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look after injured sharks.

5. Never sing in holy places.