Tanbentif is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless chicken.

Tanbentif created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanbentif, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tanbentif, it will be very sad.

Tanbentif's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tanbentif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tanbentif.

5. Never talk about seals.