Flattafjat Tighabdid is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, smart mongoose.

Flattafjat Tighabdid created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flattafjat Tighabdid, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flattafjat Tighabdid, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Flattafjat Tighabdid's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flattafjat Tighabdid's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Retreat if four otters approach from the east.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not make images of living things.