Bifvinloop is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, grumpy elephant.

Bifvinloop created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Bifvinloop, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bifvinloop, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bifvinloop's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bifvinloop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan goats, for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Always help sick hamsters.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.