Tabfabpinboss Zigmetnell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witty squirrel.

Tabfabpinboss Zigmetnell created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabfabpinboss Zigmetnell, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tabfabpinboss Zigmetnell, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tabfabpinboss Zigmetnell's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tabfabpinboss Zigmetnell's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never paint your arms green.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Tabfabpinboss Zigmetnell in the centre of the settlement.