Ditvonkbest is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, kind wombat.

Ditvonkbest created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditvonkbest, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ditvonkbest, it will send you a sign.

Ditvonkbest's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Ditvonkbest's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the south.