Podkonbet is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omnipotent dingo.

Podkonbet created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Podkonbet, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Podkonbet, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Podkonbet's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Podkonbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of aardvarks.

2. Hide if six turtles approach from the south.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. You must never eat rice.