Rulgumsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered dragon.

Rulgumsaf created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulgumsaf, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rulgumsaf, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rulgumsaf's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Rulgumsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Hide if nine shrews approach from the west.