Beghapfag is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered dolphin.

Beghapfag created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Beghapfag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Beghapfag, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Beghapfag's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Beghapfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Beghapfag on top of all buildings.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never bounce near dolphins.