Gamvoglim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, all-knowing squid.

Gamvoglim created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamvoglim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gamvoglim, he will turn you into a mole.

Gamvoglim's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gamvoglim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple whales for they are unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Gamvoglim loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away from turquoise aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.