Figpansog is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty swallow.

Figpansog created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figpansog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Figpansog, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Figpansog's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Figpansog's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not hurt frogs.

3. Never eat lemons.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.