Flabparktarsas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, loving dryad.

Flabparktarsas created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabparktarsas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flabparktarsas, he will turn you into a hamster.

Flabparktarsas' most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Flabparktarsas' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Flabparktarsas on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.