Arpvinvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Arpvinvonk created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpvinvonk, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arpvinvonk, it will strike you with lightening.

Arpvinvonk's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Arpvinvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Arpvinvonk in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not hurt foxes.