Dumfidxuckrutben is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, dishonourable bird.

Dumfidxuckrutben created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumfidxuckrutben, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dumfidxuckrutben, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dumfidxuckrutben's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dumfidxuckrutben's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine gold sculptures of Dumfidxuckrutben on top of important buildings.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.