Steromtbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful spider.

Steromtbonk created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Steromtbonk, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Steromtbonk, he will turn you into a frog.

Steromtbonk's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Steromtbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not hurt grasshopers.