Nibgetxen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil penguin.

Nibgetxen created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Nibgetxen, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nibgetxen, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Nibgetxen's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nibgetxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Never talk about archaea.