Hakmobmis is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, egotistical gerbil.

Hakmobmis created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakmobmis, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakmobmis, he will destroy your home solar system.

Hakmobmis' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Hakmobmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to ducks while wearing turquoise dresses.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

3. Hakmobmis must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always take life seriously.
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