Pogmidgov is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate narwhal.

Pogmidgov created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogmidgov, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pogmidgov, he will laugh at you.

Pogmidgov's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Pogmidgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Do not keep eight badgers in a large pit.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never pour water over plants.