Xucbemwat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, temperamental chinchilla.

Xucbemwat created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucbemwat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xucbemwat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Xucbemwat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Xucbemwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured manatees.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.