Ceportruttetti is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, astonishing whale.

Ceportruttetti created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ceportruttetti, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ceportruttetti, she will be very sad.

Ceportruttetti's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ceportruttetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing cyan trousers.

2. Run away if five porpoises approach from the east.

3. Always help sick hamsters.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Never talk about galaxies.