Rigkanpop is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unthinking raccoon.

Rigkanpop created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Rigkanpop, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rigkanpop, it will turn you into a frog.

Rigkanpop's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Rigkanpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect five gold sculptures of Rigkanpop on top of important buildings.

5. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

Watyattdag is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, all-knowing lion.

Watyattdag created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watyattdag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Watyattdag, he will curse you with boils.

Watyattdag's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Watyattdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume bananas at dawn.

2. Never wear mauve hats on sacred days.

3. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.

Limham is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable aardvark.

Limham created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Limham, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Limham, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Limham's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Limham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.

Pasteenfat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, duplicitous cow.

Pasteenfat created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pasteenfat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pasteenfat, he will manifest in front of you.

Pasteenfat's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Pasteenfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after manatees.

2. You must love Pasteenfat.

3. Do not jump at rivers.

4. Do not keep three gulls in a large pit.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.

Pitgigwabnut is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent shrew.

Pitgigwabnut created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitgigwabnut, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitgigwabnut, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pitgigwabnut's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Pitgigwabnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to five before sleeping.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never touch oil while unclean.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy rhinoceros.

Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis, he will destroy your home solar system.

Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis' most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple boots on sacred days.

2. Put Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis first in all things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Citlimtin Laghatwip Sawfommis in the centre of the settlement.

Jabdampin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous dingo.

Jabdampin created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabdampin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jabdampin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jabdampin's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Jabdampin's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jabdampin.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing shoes.

4. Do not prepare turnips while filled with pride.

5. Do not hurt gulls.

Listgamkan is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, sage rat.

Listgamkan created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Listgamkan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Listgamkan, it will send you a sign.

Listgamkan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Listgamkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Do not sing at forests.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Do not shave your head.