Vidxucstik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, contented crab.

Vidxucstik created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidxucstik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vidxucstik, it will turn you into a rat.

Vidxucstik's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vidxucstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Vidxucstik in the centre of the settlement.

4. Vidxucstik loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat limes.

Cudzakrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, slow elephant.

Cudzakrutt created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudzakrutt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cudzakrutt, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cudzakrutt's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Cudzakrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare aubergines during summer.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not name children after foxes.

4. Do not wear skirts marked with red.

5. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

Cartipmobdotsakgofbopfly is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, egotistical cat.

Cartipmobdotsakgofbopfly created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cartipmobdotsakgofbopfly, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cartipmobdotsakgofbopfly, it will destroy your favourite star.

Cartipmobdotsakgofbopfly's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cartipmobdotsakgofbopfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Cartipmobdotsakgofbopfly loves birds, so they must be respected.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Gubgigjap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful mole.

Gubgigjap created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubgigjap, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gubgigjap, she will turn you into a puffin.

Gubgigjap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gubgigjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gubgigjap.

3. Do not place figs upon stone.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gubgigjap.

Likweezakbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, conceited lion.

Likweezakbeg created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Likweezakbeg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Likweezakbeg, it will destroy your home planet.

Likweezakbeg's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Likweezakbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never proclaim while facing east.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Run away from purple pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Never hurt moths.

5. Never point your neck toward the south during prayer.

Butcibsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, humorless salamander.

Butcibsaf created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Butcibsaf, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Butcibsaf, it will turn you into a mole.

Butcibsaf's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Butcibsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn jumpers on sacred days.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Hide if nine grasshopers approach from the east.

4. Never jump in the presence of eagles.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Huntetticim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, boastful gnu.

Huntetticim created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Huntetticim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Huntetticim, he will turn you into a goat.

Huntetticim's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Huntetticim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always help pigs.

Bissmifcamnurgeploopfumlarp Farnabtom is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, intelligent shark.

Bissmifcamnurgeploopfumlarp Farnabtom created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissmifcamnurgeploopfumlarp Farnabtom, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bissmifcamnurgeploopfumlarp Farnabtom, it will turn you into a plant.

Bissmifcamnurgeploopfumlarp Farnabtom's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Bissmifcamnurgeploopfumlarp Farnabtom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Always share nuts with strangers, but never with monkeys.

4. Erect six copper sculptures of Bissmifcamnurgeploopfumlarp Farnabtom on top of important buildings.

5. Do not kill great tits.