Dudcubcud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish crab.

Dudcubcud created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudcubcud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dudcubcud, it will turn you into a snail.

Dudcubcud's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dudcubcud's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Dudcubcud loves moths, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help dogs in need.

4. Never point your back toward the south during prayer.

5. Do not record secrets concerning comets.

Latmetbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, all-knowing wren.

Latmetbonk created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Latmetbonk, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Latmetbonk, she will turn you into a dog.

Latmetbonk's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Latmetbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at midday.

2. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not wear skirts marked with indigo.

5. Pray towards the south.

Quim is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, caring hedgehog.

Quim created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quim, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quim's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Quim's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in winter.

2. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never mark doors with black.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Cunbutfob Xuccebmobkom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet owl.

Cunbutfob Xuccebmobkom created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Cunbutfob Xuccebmobkom, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cunbutfob Xuccebmobkom, she will think nothing of it.

Cunbutfob Xuccebmobkom's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cunbutfob Xuccebmobkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange coats on sacred days.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Cunbutfob Xuccebmobkom loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

Wipjatged is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional naga.

Wipjatged created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipjatged, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wipjatged, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wipjatged's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Wipjatged's Holy Commandments

1. Always share tomatoes with strangers, but never with birds.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Do not prepare bread while filled with joy.

5. Respect your elders.

Monomthas is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic cat.

Monomthas created an electron four years ago.

If you believe in Monomthas, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Monomthas, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Monomthas' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Monomthas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Always treat frogs with great respect.

Quillparkcuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless horse.

Quillparkcuss created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillparkcuss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quillparkcuss, he will destroy your home solar system.

Quillparkcuss' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Quillparkcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

3. Retreat if five dolphins approach from the south.

4. Never hurt shrews.

5. Do not wear kilts marked with turquoise.

Wig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, flying crow.

Wig created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wig, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Wig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing magenta rings and balancing nine tin spheres on your arms.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing brown shorts and balancing eight silver spheres on your back.