Fidkipsig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-confident hyena.

Fidkipsig created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidkipsig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fidkipsig, it will make you grow a tail.

Fidkipsig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fidkipsig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Remain bowed during prayer.

3. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

5. Never leap in holy places.

Tiparpyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, stupid chinchilla.

Tiparpyatt created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiparpyatt, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tiparpyatt, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tiparpyatt's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tiparpyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in winter.

2. Hide from violet eagles for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

5. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with shrews.

Hudlistrag is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, resourceful crab.

Hudlistrag created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hudlistrag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hudlistrag, she will destroy your home planet.

Hudlistrag's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Hudlistrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record names concerning stars.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Hudlistrag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

Dabnarfub is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, kind hippopotamus.

Dabnarfub created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabnarfub, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dabnarfub, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dabnarfub's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dabnarfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your neck with yellow.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Never talk about dark energy near geese while wearing blue shirts.

4. Hide if eight swans approach from the north.

5. Do not resist balance.

Satzenfig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented centaur.

Satzenfig created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satzenfig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Satzenfig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Satzenfig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Satzenfig's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Do not name children after nematodes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about dark matter near capybaras while wearing violet tights and balancing six aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. Do not travel during spring.

Tettirulldit is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous grasshopper.

Tettirulldit created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettirulldit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tettirulldit, he will curse you with boils.

Tettirulldit's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tettirulldit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Never travel toward the south during winter.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

4. Do not name children after tortoises.

5. Never write about nebulae.

Ingbapsid is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, vain chicken.

Ingbapsid created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingbapsid, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ingbapsid, he will have a low opinion of you.

Ingbapsid's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ingbapsid's Holy Commandments

1. Always store bananas above ground.

2. Never remain standing at dawn.

3. Do not keep nine snails in a large pit.

4. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

5. Never write about amino acids.

Tingepcab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud dryad.

Tingepcab created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Tingepcab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tingepcab, she will turn you into a hamster.

Tingepcab's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tingepcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near ants while wearing blue hats and balancing four silver spheres on your chest.