Dinpagfasdan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, vain bat.

Dinpagfasdan created the Virgo Supercluster four years ago.

If you believe in Dinpagfasdan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dinpagfasdan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dinpagfasdan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dinpagfasdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never hurt moths.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Dinpagfasdan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.

Bencenhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking narwhal.

Bencenhiv created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bencenhiv, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bencenhiv, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bencenhiv's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bencenhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Hide if nine foxes approach from the north.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never gather three geese near walls.

Wadrullfas is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy meerkat.

Wadrullfas created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wadrullfas, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wadrullfas, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Wadrullfas' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Wadrullfas' Holy Commandments

1. Wadrullfas must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Wadrullfas loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

Bamtunquagved is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome centaur.

Bamtunquagved created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamtunquagved, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bamtunquagved, it will not invite you to parties.

Bamtunquagved's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bamtunquagved's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven sharks in one place.

2. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Never cross forests at dawn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

Timgutyar is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ruthless meerkat.

Timgutyar created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timgutyar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Timgutyar, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Timgutyar's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Timgutyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Timgutyar.

5. Retreat if nine hamsters approach from the south.

Rapcubjap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty dog.

Rapcubjap created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapcubjap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rapcubjap, it will turn you into a puffin.

Rapcubjap's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Rapcubjap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Rapcubjap on top of all buildings.

2. Always obey Rapcubjap's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Always share beans with strangers, but never with dolphins.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

Bendunlop is a god.

He takes the form of a small, duplicitous naga.

Bendunlop created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bendunlop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bendunlop, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bendunlop's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bendunlop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never cross rivers at midday.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Feed all hungry birds.

Bograwjad is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, merciful troll.

Bograwjad created the Black Eye Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bograwjad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bograwjad, he will turn you into a goat.

Bograwjad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bograwjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.