Farnzogyam Nuttyarloparp Ladzagwad is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, humane gorilla.

Farnzogyam Nuttyarloparp Ladzagwad created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnzogyam Nuttyarloparp Ladzagwad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Farnzogyam Nuttyarloparp Ladzagwad, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Farnzogyam Nuttyarloparp Ladzagwad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Farnzogyam Nuttyarloparp Ladzagwad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four moths approach from the west.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Never gather five voles in one place.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always help sick eagles.

Megsanhas is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, fussy mongoose.

Megsanhas created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Megsanhas, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Megsanhas, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Megsanhas' most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Megsanhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas on fasting days.

2. Never mention snails.

3. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Missitlarp Farnsansablargdavwee is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful ferret.

Missitlarp Farnsansablargdavwee created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Missitlarp Farnsansablargdavwee, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Missitlarp Farnsansablargdavwee, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Missitlarp Farnsansablargdavwee's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Missitlarp Farnsansablargdavwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Run away if seven tortoises approach from the east.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. You must love Missitlarp Farnsansablargdavwee.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Milspagbess is a god.

She takes the form of a small, humorless shrew.

Milspagbess created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Milspagbess, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Milspagbess, she will cry a lot.

Milspagbess' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Milspagbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with blue markings.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not prepare aubergines while wearing boots.

5. Do not fashion tools from tin.

Monlipgidbom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, generous owl.

Monlipgidbom created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Monlipgidbom, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Monlipgidbom, it will be mildly annoyed.

Monlipgidbom's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Monlipgidbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

3. Never allow mites to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

5. Always wash your head before prayer.

Zigflatgam is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless cow.

Zigflatgam created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigflatgam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zigflatgam, she will ignore you.

Zigflatgam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Zigflatgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing indigo tights and balancing six gold spheres on your feet.

Febbisstifvad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-assured weasel.

Febbisstifvad created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febbisstifvad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Febbisstifvad, he will turn you into a hamster.

Febbisstifvad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Febbisstifvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Febbisstifvad.

5. Never travel toward the west during summer.

Bapfossnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a small, benevolent slug.

Bapfossnurl created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bapfossnurl, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bapfossnurl, she will turn you into a frog.

Bapfossnurl's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bapfossnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about frogs.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Never talk about nebulae.