Stiklapbep is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, kind crab.

Stiklapbep created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stiklapbep, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stiklapbep, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Stiklapbep's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Stiklapbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.

Quamnulltun is a god.

She takes the form of a small, ill-tempered chinchilla.

Quamnulltun created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamnulltun, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quamnulltun, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quamnulltun's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Quamnulltun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Never wear pink shorts on sacred days.

Hinnelzim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, calm dolphin.

Hinnelzim created silver five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinnelzim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hinnelzim, it will throw large rocks at you.

Hinnelzim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Hinnelzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven frogs in one place.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

Bumzignart is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented parrot.

Bumzignart created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumzignart, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bumzignart, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bumzignart's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bumzignart's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Never feed grapes to hamsters while wearing skirts.

3. Never skip in the presence of elders.

4. Never talk about ants.

5. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

Omtstipnart is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, stupid finch.

Omtstipnart created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtstipnart, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Omtstipnart, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Omtstipnart's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Omtstipnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to manatees while wearing dresses.

2. Omtstipnart loves horses, so they must be honoured.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not place beans upon stone.

5. Never cross crossroads at dawn.

Dusstadfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, ill-tempered tortoise.

Dusstadfeb created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dusstadfeb, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dusstadfeb, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dusstadfeb's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Dusstadfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never mix melons with water.

Dumdamfit Capbogzig Kengilpit is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, prudent wren.

Dumdamfit Capbogzig Kengilpit created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumdamfit Capbogzig Kengilpit, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dumdamfit Capbogzig Kengilpit, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dumdamfit Capbogzig Kengilpit's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Dumdamfit Capbogzig Kengilpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four moths in a large pit.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never touch ash while unclean.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

Lanlapcussgesscunwitlip is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable toad.

Lanlapcussgesscunwitlip created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanlapcussgesscunwitlip, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lanlapcussgesscunwitlip, it will turn you into a rat.

Lanlapcussgesscunwitlip's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Lanlapcussgesscunwitlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never cross mountains at dawn.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.