Dapbotbom Kikkinwad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, omnipotent hyena.

Dapbotbom Kikkinwad created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Dapbotbom Kikkinwad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dapbotbom Kikkinwad, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Dapbotbom Kikkinwad's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dapbotbom Kikkinwad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dapbotbom Kikkinwad first in all things.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Erect six iron sculptures of Dapbotbom Kikkinwad on top of important buildings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always help birds.

Labparkken is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless unicorn.

Labparkken created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Labparkken, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Labparkken, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Labparkken's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Labparkken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Do not listen to music.

Popxinbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, weak owl.

Popxinbeg created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popxinbeg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Popxinbeg, she will boil you in a big pot.

Popxinbeg's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Popxinbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Worship no other gods but Popxinbeg.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Sathakzagtimwotfed is a god.

It takes the form of a small, staggering squirrel.

Sathakzagtimwotfed created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sathakzagtimwotfed, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sathakzagtimwotfed, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sathakzagtimwotfed's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Sathakzagtimwotfed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three swans approach from the west.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not kill sharks.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sathakzagtimwotfed.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Xengen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, strong bee.

Xengen created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xengen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xengen, he will boil you in a big pot.

Xengen's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Xengen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Retreat if nine birds approach from the north.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.

Weecadyar is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, stupid fish.

Weecadyar created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Weecadyar, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Weecadyar, he will think nothing of it.

Weecadyar's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Weecadyar's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Weecadyar.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear turquoise dresses.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

5. Pray towards the west.

Pakhontap is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witless penguin.

Pakhontap created the Sol system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakhontap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pakhontap, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Pakhontap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pakhontap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pakhontap.

2. Never hurt geese.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never bounce in the presence of dogs.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Pakhontap on top of all buildings.

Biggunrigcat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, confident shrew.

Biggunrigcat created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Biggunrigcat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Biggunrigcat, she will manifest in front of you.

Biggunrigcat's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Biggunrigcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt horses.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Worship no other gods but Biggunrigcat.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.