Laghinleggontensab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish zebra.

Laghinleggontensab created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Laghinleggontensab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laghinleggontensab, he will cry a lot.

Laghinleggontensab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Laghinleggontensab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at walls at midnight.

2. Never eat apples on days of mourning.

3. Retreat if five bats approach from the west.

4. Never mark doors with brown.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Zedmisliddundamnat is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic parrot.

Zedmisliddundamnat created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedmisliddundamnat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zedmisliddundamnat, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Zedmisliddundamnat's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Zedmisliddundamnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises in need.

2. Hide from orange snakes for they are unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zedmisliddundamnat.

4. Never fashion tools from stone.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Gambagvon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, temperamental meerkat.

Gambagvon created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gambagvon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gambagvon, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gambagvon's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gambagvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Do not hop at crossroads.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

5. Always look after injured doves.

Bongamguntin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, grumpy gnu.

Bongamguntin created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bongamguntin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bongamguntin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bongamguntin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bongamguntin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing cyan shorts and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Always wear white.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Do not hurt tapirs.

Largbopmet is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, loving penguin.

Largbopmet created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largbopmet, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Largbopmet, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Largbopmet's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Largbopmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Never record names.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

Donfasvilhomflabzakdid is a god.

It takes the form of a small, caring clam.

Donfasvilhomflabzakdid created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Donfasvilhomflabzakdid, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Donfasvilhomflabzakdid, it will not care at all.

Donfasvilhomflabzakdid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Donfasvilhomflabzakdid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to rats while wearing turquoise shorts.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Donfasvilhomflabzakdid.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not place carrots upon stone.

Didhimtaf Dinflowtof is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful lion.

Didhimtaf Dinflowtof created the Virgo Supercluster nine million years ago.

If you believe in Didhimtaf Dinflowtof, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Didhimtaf Dinflowtof, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Didhimtaf Dinflowtof's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Didhimtaf Dinflowtof's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Didhimtaf Dinflowtof.

2. Didhimtaf Dinflowtof must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must never eat onions.

4. Never remain standing at dusk.

5. Do not gather at towers at midday.

Gepjonrow is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, merciless alligator.

Gepjonrow created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjonrow, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gepjonrow, it will torture you forever.

Gepjonrow's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gepjonrow's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.