Begvabyok is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, capable fly.

Begvabyok created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begvabyok, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Begvabyok, he will curse you with boils.

Begvabyok's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Begvabyok's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Begvabyok on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about special relativity near moths while wearing violet tights and balancing nine carbon spheres on your chest.

4. Never travel toward the east during summer.

5. Never look in ponds.

Gudmumvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered rat.

Gudmumvonk created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Gudmumvonk, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gudmumvonk, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gudmumvonk's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gudmumvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Never hurt moths.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Always obey Gudmumvonk's priests.

5. Do not fashion tools from gold.

Stigapport is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic hyena.

Stigapport created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigapport, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stigapport, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Stigapport's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Stigapport's Holy Commandments

1. Stigapport loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Always store aubergines above ground.

3. Do not name children after cats.

4. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

5. Fast once a month.

Narstip is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, confident coyote.

Narstip created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Narstip, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Narstip, it will send minions to preach to you.

Narstip's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Narstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during winter.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never feed rice to shrews while wearing mauve tights.

4. Do not keep five gulls in a large pit.

5. Shun those given to vanity.

Gamvenweg Padkapnab is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, almighty dog.

Gamvenweg Padkapnab created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamvenweg Padkapnab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gamvenweg Padkapnab, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gamvenweg Padkapnab's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Gamvenweg Padkapnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to nematodes while wearing coats.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

5. Hide if eight porpoises approach from the south.

Dutpogpop is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, flying yak.

Dutpogpop created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dutpogpop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dutpogpop, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dutpogpop's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dutpogpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never gather eight birds in one place.

Jigtanlim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent frog.

Jigtanlim created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jigtanlim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jigtanlim, it will destroy your home planet.

Jigtanlim's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Jigtanlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never allow doves to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

Vedbunsag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, boastful warg.

Vedbunsag created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedbunsag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vedbunsag, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vedbunsag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vedbunsag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near eagles while wearing fawn hats and balancing nine gold spheres on your back.

5. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.