Nulnegflyam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, calm cat.

Nulnegflyam created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulnegflyam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nulnegflyam, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nulnegflyam's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nulnegflyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six foxes in one place.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always wash your back before prayer.

5. Always count to eight before sleeping.

Lagfidmegdiss Sakfunvag Gatteenbonbenmigsis is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, sapient hare.

Lagfidmegdiss Sakfunvag Gatteenbonbenmigsis created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagfidmegdiss Sakfunvag Gatteenbonbenmigsis, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lagfidmegdiss Sakfunvag Gatteenbonbenmigsis, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lagfidmegdiss Sakfunvag Gatteenbonbenmigsis' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lagfidmegdiss Sakfunvag Gatteenbonbenmigsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near monkeys while wearing turquoise corsets.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing indigo dresses and balancing seven tin spheres on your back.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.

Weezakhom is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unjust troll.

Weezakhom created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Weezakhom, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Weezakhom, she will boil you in a big pot.

Weezakhom's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Weezakhom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Weezakhom on top of all buildings.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not record signs concerning stars.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

Tomtalduss is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, loving goose.

Tomtalduss created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomtalduss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tomtalduss, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tomtalduss' most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tomtalduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while unclean.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Never prepare apples during spring.

Zimkopbus is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, ill-tempered ferret.

Zimkopbus created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimkopbus, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zimkopbus, she will turn you into a duck.

Zimkopbus' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Zimkopbus' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sheep.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Never mention otters.

5. Heed all signs.

Woncedzag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-assured mouse.

Woncedzag created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Woncedzag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Woncedzag, he will turn you into a puffin.

Woncedzag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Woncedzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs.

2. Ducks are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Woncedzag on top of all buildings.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Nullontduss is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing snail.

Nullontduss created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullontduss, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nullontduss, it will turn you into a goat.

Nullontduss' most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nullontduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not record secrets concerning dwarf planets.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Erect four silicon sculptures of Nullontduss on top of important buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

Loopwapfas is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, fast goose.

Loopwapfas created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Loopwapfas, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Loopwapfas, he will not care at all.

Loopwapfas' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Loopwapfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loopwapfas.