Hinmum is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, annoying goblin.

Hinmum created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinmum, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hinmum, she will send you a sign.

Hinmum's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hinmum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never approach forests carrying bone.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

Genvagnul is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, slow lion.

Genvagnul created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genvagnul, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Genvagnul, it will throw large rocks at you.

Genvagnul's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Genvagnul's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not place lentils upon stone.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

Bassdavcat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witty bee.

Bassdavcat created life two years ago.

If you believe in Bassdavcat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bassdavcat, she will not care at all.

Bassdavcat's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bassdavcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.

2. Never allow grasshopers to witness sacred rites.

3. Run away from purple snails, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.

Flisbenvab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, cheerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flisbenvab created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisbenvab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flisbenvab, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flisbenvab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Flisbenvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Never mix rice with water.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Flisbenvab on top of all buildings.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Flisbenvab in the centre of the settlement.

Gidyarpkom is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, overgenerous skunk.

Gidyarpkom created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidyarpkom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gidyarpkom, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gidyarpkom's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gidyarpkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gidyarpkom's name in vain.

2. Do not hop at rivers.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always take life seriously.

Spagmabdag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish butterfly.

Spagmabdag created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagmabdag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Spagmabdag, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Spagmabdag's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Spagmabdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Never eat spinach.

Stipquillkam is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, able mole.

Stipquillkam created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipquillkam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stipquillkam, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Stipquillkam's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Stipquillkam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Stipquillkam in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. You must pray to Stipquillkam seven times a day.

5. Never wear fawn ear rings.

Flistettipad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, capable eagle.

Flistettipad created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Flistettipad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flistettipad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Flistettipad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Flistettipad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Flistettipad on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never feed lots of lemons to ants while wearing brown ear rings.

4. Never prepare beans during spring.

5. Always cleanse water with water.