Futgedkar is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful fly.

Futgedkar created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futgedkar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Futgedkar, she will laugh at you.

Futgedkar's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Futgedkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

Hognakquag is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent crane.

Hognakquag created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hognakquag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hognakquag, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Hognakquag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Hognakquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow porpoises to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

Wabrutcen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonest duck.

Wabrutcen created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabrutcen, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wabrutcen, she will turn you into a sheep.

Wabrutcen's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wabrutcen's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wabrutcen.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to snails while wearing indigo ear rings.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

Dimtarvog Yatarpfig is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, thoughtless human.

Dimtarvog Yatarpfig created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimtarvog Yatarpfig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Dimtarvog Yatarpfig, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dimtarvog Yatarpfig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dimtarvog Yatarpfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

2. Never point your neck toward the west during prayer.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never proclaim while facing south.

5. Always look after injured mites.

Benfodsugdub Febjinvog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome wren.

Benfodsugdub Febjinvog created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Benfodsugdub Febjinvog, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Benfodsugdub Febjinvog, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Benfodsugdub Febjinvog's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Benfodsugdub Febjinvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always store tomatoes above ground.

3. Benfodsugdub Febjinvog loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not prepare carrots while wearing tights.

5. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

Mumwaprull is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent hyena.

Mumwaprull created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Mumwaprull, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mumwaprull, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Mumwaprull's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Mumwaprull's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mumwaprull.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Teenmon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise wyvern.

Teenmon created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenmon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Teenmon, he will send minions to preach to you.

Teenmon's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Teenmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Never talk about goats.

5. Never leap in winter.

Daparmartlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful mouse.

Daparmartlarp created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Daparmartlarp, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Daparmartlarp, she will turn you into a dog.

Daparmartlarp's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Daparmartlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never record names.

5. Always look after injured shrews.