Dissminmit is a god.

He takes the form of a small, narcissistic newt.

Dissminmit created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Dissminmit, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dissminmit, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dissminmit's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dissminmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Dissminmit loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not listen to music.

Weglikdod Pidjantam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited frog.

Weglikdod Pidjantam created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weglikdod Pidjantam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Weglikdod Pidjantam, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Weglikdod Pidjantam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Weglikdod Pidjantam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear jumpers marked with purple.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near grasshopers while wearing green kilts.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Weglikdod Pidjantam in the centre of the settlement.

Kopjadnat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unselfish walrus.

Kopjadnat created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopjadnat, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kopjadnat, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kopjadnat's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Kopjadnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always store corn above ground.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

Bamveglist is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody goose.

Bamveglist created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamveglist, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bamveglist, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bamveglist's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bamveglist's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never mix tomatoes with blood.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bamveglist.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bamveglist.

Pontabjen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, quiet snake.

Pontabjen created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pontabjen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pontabjen, she will turn you into a sheep.

Pontabjen's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Pontabjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

2. Put Pontabjen first in all things.

3. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

Larpdablin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous yak.

Larpdablin created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpdablin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Larpdablin, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Larpdablin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Larpdablin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Worship no other gods but Larpdablin.

5. Do not travel during spring.

Gatgodkar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, slow finch.

Gatgodkar created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Gatgodkar, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gatgodkar, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gatgodkar's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gatgodkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Fast once a month.

Abdobweg is a god.

He takes the form of a small, egotistical swallow.

Abdobweg created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abdobweg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Abdobweg, he will destroy your home solar system.

Abdobweg's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Abdobweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

3. Never travel toward the south during summer.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Always wash your back before prayer.