Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, almighty coyote.

Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wotgoftenwod Tarpfag Femtintifgidxin.

2. Never feed tomatoes to tortoises while wearing coats.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Never chant while facing north.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

Bodbopgar is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented wombat.

Bodbopgar created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodbopgar, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bodbopgar, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bodbopgar's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bodbopgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Do not prepare corn while wearing tights.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bodbopgar.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near moths while wearing cyan dresses and balancing eight tin spheres on your arms.

Caddavtail is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, effective jellyfish.

Caddavtail created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Caddavtail, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Caddavtail, it will turn you into a rock.

Caddavtail's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Caddavtail's Holy Commandments

1. Always share cucumbers with strangers, but never with gulls.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not name children after swans.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

Komzagpadban is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring manatee.

Komzagpadban created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komzagpadban, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Komzagpadban, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Komzagpadban's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Komzagpadban's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

2. Do not take Komzagpadban's name in vain.

3. Always remove skirts before touching carbon.

4. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Yamshavtal is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, impressive capybara.

Yamshavtal created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamshavtal, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yamshavtal, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yamshavtal's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Yamshavtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Yamshavtal loves pigs, so they must be respected.

3. Do not gather at doors at midday.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

Tindanbod is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud dryad.

Tindanbod created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tindanbod, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tindanbod, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tindanbod's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tindanbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle tin while unclean.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Do not place grapes upon stone.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

Riltikgar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm crow.

Riltikgar created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Riltikgar, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Riltikgar, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Riltikgar's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Riltikgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record names concerning black holes.

2. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with moths.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching aluminium.

Dabbimwod Nurtgummon is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent mole.

Dabbimwod Nurtgummon created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabbimwod Nurtgummon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dabbimwod Nurtgummon, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dabbimwod Nurtgummon's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dabbimwod Nurtgummon's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

2. Never allow cats to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.