Vograkwegstighat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful elephant.

Vograkwegstighat created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vograkwegstighat, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vograkwegstighat, it will try to impress you with trees.

Vograkwegstighat's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vograkwegstighat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five mice in a large pit.

2. Always help seals.

3. Never remain kneeling at midday.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Pagfumnan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, omniscient wombat.

Pagfumnan created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagfumnan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pagfumnan, he will be mildly annoyed.

Pagfumnan's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Pagfumnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during winter.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not kill foxes.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Do not hurt great tits.

Wegsterbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, thoughtless jackal.

Wegsterbonk created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wegsterbonk, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wegsterbonk, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Wegsterbonk's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Wegsterbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Never approach forests carrying clay.

5. Always wear blue.

Yarlbissganart is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, compassionate hare.

Yarlbissganart created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbissganart, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarlbissganart, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yarlbissganart's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Yarlbissganart's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Run away if eight tortoises approach from the west.

3. Do not consume melons at dawn.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about planets.

Canvontonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful walrus.

Canvontonk created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Canvontonk, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Canvontonk, he will turn you into a snail.

Canvontonk's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Canvontonk's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not leap at forests.

3. Hide from green snails for they are unholy.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near moths while wearing gray kilts and balancing eight gold spheres on your arms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Zansomyok is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful meerkat.

Zansomyok created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zansomyok, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zansomyok, it will cry a lot.

Zansomyok's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Zansomyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

2. Never paint your face red.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not wear rings marked with violet.

Bellvadxuckragtonvanren Fabgabquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a large, capable hydra.

Bellvadxuckragtonvanren Fabgabquaf created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellvadxuckragtonvanren Fabgabquaf, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bellvadxuckragtonvanren Fabgabquaf, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bellvadxuckragtonvanren Fabgabquaf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bellvadxuckragtonvanren Fabgabquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six mites in a large pit.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

5. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

Kopgomcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, effective seal.

Kopgomcuss created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopgomcuss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kopgomcuss, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Kopgomcuss' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kopgomcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink alcohol.