Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, weak octopus.

Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen created the Whirlpool Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen, he will have a low opinion of you.

Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen seven times a day.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yakhunarflencumfaswoncen.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Do not sing at mountains.

Timbitbut is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, quiet bat.

Timbitbut created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Timbitbut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Timbitbut, it will torture you forever.

Timbitbut's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Timbitbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

2. Never mark doors with cyan.

3. Do not place melons upon stone.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never talk about stars.

Budnibgenstragdabdobgabmif is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sapient lobster.

Budnibgenstragdabdobgabmif created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Budnibgenstragdabdobgabmif, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Budnibgenstragdabdobgabmif, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Budnibgenstragdabdobgabmif's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Budnibgenstragdabdobgabmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never chant near tortoises.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never record signs.

Bindusshak is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, compassionate ant.

Bindusshak created the Tadpole Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bindusshak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bindusshak, he will cry a lot.

Bindusshak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bindusshak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Never mention eagles.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Bindusshak in the centre of the settlement.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never stain your feet with orange.

Xemsugstig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring faun.

Xemsugstig created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemsugstig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xemsugstig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xemsugstig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Xemsugstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Xemsugstig.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never wear purple rings.

4. Never mark doors with turquoise.

5. Never speak at midday.

Gigtendod is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking naga.

Gigtendod created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigtendod, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gigtendod, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gigtendod's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gigtendod's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise jumpers.

2. Never adorn your hands with pink markings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.

Figbonnell is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless tapir.

Figbonnell created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Figbonnell, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Figbonnell, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Figbonnell's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Figbonnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three monkeys in one place.

2. Run away from indigo nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never allow shrews to witness sacred rites.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

Zodfabsan Hambenmis is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking fox.

Zodfabsan Hambenmis created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodfabsan Hambenmis, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zodfabsan Hambenmis, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zodfabsan Hambenmis' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Zodfabsan Hambenmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never adorn your hands with purple markings.

4. Never hop near pigs.

5. Never talk about gravity near goats while wearing indigo coats and balancing three carbon spheres on your feet.