Yarphomgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, strong hedgehog.

Yarphomgut created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarphomgut, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarphomgut, he will try to impress you with trees.

Yarphomgut's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Yarphomgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

3. Never eat tomatoes on holy days.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always share parsnips with strangers, but never with ducks.

Ortgem Pandobcepdubhunarf is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, able wyrm.

Ortgem Pandobcepdubhunarf created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortgem Pandobcepdubhunarf, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ortgem Pandobcepdubhunarf, she will curse you with boils.

Ortgem Pandobcepdubhunarf's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ortgem Pandobcepdubhunarf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Never hurt squirrels.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Bonfetnurtjen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring centaur.

Bonfetnurtjen created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonfetnurtjen, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bonfetnurtjen, he will turn you into a goat.

Bonfetnurtjen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bonfetnurtjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bonfetnurtjen.

4. Never feed lots of limes to seals while wearing turquoise tights.

5. Never sing in holy places.

Bodhabflatgab Vabcisstan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering goat.

Bodhabflatgab Vabcisstan created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodhabflatgab Vabcisstan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bodhabflatgab Vabcisstan, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bodhabflatgab Vabcisstan's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Bodhabflatgab Vabcisstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during winter.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must pray to Bodhabflatgab Vabcisstan seven times a day.

Tunbegziggempibhit is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, irritating mink.

Tunbegziggempibhit created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunbegziggempibhit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tunbegziggempibhit, it will turn you into a sheep.

Tunbegziggempibhit's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tunbegziggempibhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing fawn tights and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about fire.

Pogsatlog is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty bear.

Pogsatlog created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogsatlog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pogsatlog, he will turn you into a hamster.

Pogsatlog's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Pogsatlog's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Do not take Pogsatlog's name in vain.

5. Never talk about fire.

Kopquamkad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, temperamental fly.

Kopquamkad created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopquamkad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kopquamkad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Kopquamkad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Kopquamkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured hamsters.

2. Always count to six before sleeping.

3. Do not gather at doors at midday.

4. Run away from violet horses, for they are unholy.

5. Never stain your head with red.

Natjarnfum is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, ruthless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Natjarnfum created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natjarnfum, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Natjarnfum, it will jump up and down on your head.

Natjarnfum's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Natjarnfum's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Natjarnfum.

2. Do not record signs concerning dwarf planets.

3. Never think ill of sick mice.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.