Jatbif is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered squirrel.

Jatbif created the Black Eye Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Jatbif, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jatbif, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Jatbif's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Jatbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Always wash your legs before prayer.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never gather six swans in one place.

Henlun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless manatee.

Henlun created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Henlun, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Henlun, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Henlun's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Henlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Hide from magenta porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Gebzedjad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, overgenerous chinchilla.

Gebzedjad created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebzedjad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gebzedjad, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gebzedjad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gebzedjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near sheep while wearing violet rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your head.

2. Never point your hands toward the east during prayer.

3. Do not record numbers concerning dwarf planets.

4. Do not consume spinach at dawn.

5. Never eat strawberries.

Kemnartbemquat is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awesome donkey.

Kemnartbemquat created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemnartbemquat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemnartbemquat, it will turn you into a frog.

Kemnartbemquat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kemnartbemquat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kemnartbemquat.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Quatbus is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthinking squid.

Quatbus created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Quatbus, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quatbus, she will turn you into a rat.

Quatbus' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quatbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to rats while wearing shorts.

2. Never eat parsnips on days of mourning.

3. Never gather three dolphins in one place.

4. Worship no other gods but Quatbus.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Gubdobsinyarbogsatfotvil is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, resourceful ant.

Gubdobsinyarbogsatfotvil created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubdobsinyarbogsatfotvil, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gubdobsinyarbogsatfotvil, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gubdobsinyarbogsatfotvil's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gubdobsinyarbogsatfotvil's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never eat onions.

4. Always look after injured dolphins.

5. Never adorn your head with violet markings.

Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, generous finch.

Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Do not contemplate spacetime during the night.

Mifjip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, moody hedgehog.

Mifjip created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifjip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mifjip, he will be mildly annoyed.

Mifjip's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Mifjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Mifjip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Never paint your face mauve.

5. Hide from gray turtles for they are unholy.