Batnutdot is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-confident zebra.

Batnutdot created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batnutdot, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Batnutdot, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Batnutdot's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Batnutdot's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Batnutdot.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Always help voles.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Never go into brown rooms.

Fliszakdid is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, contented penguin.

Fliszakdid created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fliszakdid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fliszakdid, he will ignore you.

Fliszakdid's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fliszakdid's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to nine before sleeping.

2. Do not prepare lemons while wearing ear rings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Remain standing during prayer.

5. Never speak at dusk.

Padwegmut is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-confident bat.

Padwegmut created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padwegmut, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Padwegmut, he will send minions to preach to you.

Padwegmut's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Padwegmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

5. You must love Padwegmut.

Tettibettiplarnkomfarnurlstip Fotqueegman is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, fast chinchilla.

Tettibettiplarnkomfarnurlstip Fotqueegman created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettibettiplarnkomfarnurlstip Fotqueegman, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tettibettiplarnkomfarnurlstip Fotqueegman, she will destroy your home planet.

Tettibettiplarnkomfarnurlstip Fotqueegman's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tettibettiplarnkomfarnurlstip Fotqueegman's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never paint your chest mauve.

3. Do not take Tettibettiplarnkomfarnurlstip Fotqueegman's name in vain.

4. Always help mice.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.

Flappodtomtig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, capable warg.

Flappodtomtig created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flappodtomtig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flappodtomtig, he will come to you in dreams.

Flappodtomtig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flappodtomtig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flappodtomtig nine times a day.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never run in spring.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with joy.

Rapafcen Ingbonksand is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, witless bird.

Rapafcen Ingbonksand created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Rapafcen Ingbonksand, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rapafcen Ingbonksand, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Rapafcen Ingbonksand's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Rapafcen Ingbonksand's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing pink coats and balancing four iron spheres on your chest.

5. Heed all portents.

Quatbassortgeb Legnib is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful goose.

Quatbassortgeb Legnib created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatbassortgeb Legnib, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatbassortgeb Legnib, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quatbassortgeb Legnib's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Quatbassortgeb Legnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Quatbassortgeb Legnib in the centre of the settlement.

Jigripnutyik is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful goat.

Jigripnutyik created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jigripnutyik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jigripnutyik, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jigripnutyik's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jigripnutyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never paint your arms turquoise.

3. Run away if four swans approach from the south.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

5. Never hop in the presence of horses.