Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, prudent hummingbird.

Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near bats while wearing gray corsets and balancing six lead spheres on your feet.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib on top of all buildings.

4. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Panwiptam Rulldossgetlib in the centre of the settlement.

Nurtdotgid Sanladvagzagcutgep Venzagvad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, loving donkey.

Nurtdotgid Sanladvagzagcutgep Venzagvad created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdotgid Sanladvagzagcutgep Venzagvad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nurtdotgid Sanladvagzagcutgep Venzagvad, it will turn you into a frog.

Nurtdotgid Sanladvagzagcutgep Venzagvad's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Nurtdotgid Sanladvagzagcutgep Venzagvad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Hide from black otters for they are unholy.

3. Never gather five squirrels near bridges.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Nurtdotgid Sanladvagzagcutgep Venzagvad loves seals, so they must be honoured.

Bugbapbem is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, narcissistic mongoose.

Bugbapbem created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugbapbem, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bugbapbem, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bugbapbem's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bugbapbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Do not prepare nuts while wearing boots.

5. Do not gather at towers at dusk.

Pinpakbesttag is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciful camel.

Pinpakbesttag created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinpakbesttag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pinpakbesttag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Pinpakbesttag's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Pinpakbesttag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not record signs concerning galaxies.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing skirts.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

Kemartlak is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, effective fox.

Kemartlak created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemartlak, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kemartlak, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Kemartlak's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kemartlak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near dolphins while wearing magenta skirts and balancing nine lead spheres on your chest.

3. Never sing in the presence of sheep.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not wear shorts marked with purple.

Pan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional goose.

Pan created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pan, it will destroy your home solar system.

Pan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Pan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

2. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Eagles are not to be trusted.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Worship no other gods but Pan.

Flownanbud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful chinchilla.

Flownanbud created the Virgo Supercluster two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flownanbud, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flownanbud, he will turn you into a worm.

Flownanbud's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Flownanbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Tonvabbab is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, able cobra.

Tonvabbab created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonvabbab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonvabbab, he will make you grow a tail.

Tonvabbab's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tonvabbab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.