Manxinpod is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow warg.

Manxinpod created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Manxinpod, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Manxinpod, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Manxinpod's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Manxinpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Always share wheat with strangers, but never with birds.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Never mix carrots with oil.

Gildunmifxucksandpanyim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous giraffe.

Gildunmifxucksandpanyim created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gildunmifxucksandpanyim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gildunmifxucksandpanyim, she will make you grow a tail.

Gildunmifxucksandpanyim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gildunmifxucksandpanyim's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never sing in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Remain standing during prayer.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Wonpadstik is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, emotional salamander.

Wonpadstik created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wonpadstik, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wonpadstik, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Wonpadstik's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Wonpadstik's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wonpadstik.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Wonpadstik must be the most important thing in your life.

Cubragbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, slow skunk.

Cubragbeg created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubragbeg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cubragbeg, it will think nothing of it.

Cubragbeg's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Cubragbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare turnips during summer.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cubragbeg.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

Rullbambag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, flying crab.

Rullbambag created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rullbambag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rullbambag, it will turn you into a goat.

Rullbambag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Rullbambag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

2. Always remove rings before touching silver.

3. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not gather at bridges at dawn.

Gonsomsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, intelligent zebra.

Gonsomsaw created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonsomsaw, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gonsomsaw, she will laugh at you.

Gonsomsaw's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gonsomsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

3. Always treat geese with great respect.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Never hop in the presence of eagles.

Panarmnig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody cobra.

Panarmnig created the Tadpole Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panarmnig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Panarmnig, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Panarmnig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Panarmnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of birds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never handle titanium while unclean.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not consume lentils at dawn.

Capgessandflan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, tiresome jellyfish.

Capgessandflan created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capgessandflan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Capgessandflan, he will cry a lot.

Capgessandflan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Capgessandflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place grapes upon stone.

2. Hide from turquoise porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.