Hugfasgud is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented wasp.

Hugfasgud created the Milkyway six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugfasgud, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hugfasgud, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hugfasgud's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hugfasgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after nematodes.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. Do not travel during winter.

Dotrullkim is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless raccoon.

Dotrullkim created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotrullkim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dotrullkim, she will torture you forever.

Dotrullkim's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Dotrullkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Never mark doors with cyan.

5. Always help mice.

Davlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ill-tempered centipede.

Davlarg created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davlarg, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Davlarg, she will make you grow a tail.

Davlarg's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Davlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow turtles to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never feed lots of apples to snails while wearing pink trousers.

3. Always help mites in need.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never stain your arms with cyan.

Didgadrill is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, passionate turtle.

Didgadrill created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Didgadrill, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Didgadrill, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Didgadrill's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Didgadrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Funvolfad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Funvolfad created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Funvolfad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Funvolfad, she will not invite you to parties.

Funvolfad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Funvolfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Do not wear shoes marked with magenta.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

5. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

Quam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable horse.

Quam created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quam, he will turn you into a duck.

Quam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quam.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

Bedstikfligwee is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, idiotic hyena.

Bedstikfligwee created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bedstikfligwee, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedstikfligwee, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bedstikfligwee's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bedstikfligwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Run away if three tortoises approach from the south.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Bestsanjabzan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, sapient cat.

Bestsanjabzan created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bestsanjabzan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestsanjabzan, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bestsanjabzan's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bestsanjabzan's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Put Bestsanjabzan first in all things.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Run away if seven tortoises approach from the north.