Femyamflag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless salamander.

Femyamflag created life two years ago.

If you believe in Femyamflag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Femyamflag, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Femyamflag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Femyamflag's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Femyamflag nine times a day.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

Rutleglam is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish dolphin.

Rutleglam created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutleglam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rutleglam, it will turn you into a slug.

Rutleglam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Rutleglam's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Rutleglam.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near shrews while wearing pink boots and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

Abvonbit is a god.

He takes the form of a small, stupid wyrm.

Abvonbit created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abvonbit, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Abvonbit, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Abvonbit's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Abvonbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never feed gooseberries to bats while wearing corsets.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Never handle titanium while unclean.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

Yogpagvon is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful shrew.

Yogpagvon created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogpagvon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yogpagvon, he will make you grow a tail.

Yogpagvon's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yogpagvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying stone.

2. Never go into gray rooms.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Respect your elders.

Tifbidmumpad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, benevolent alligator.

Tifbidmumpad created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifbidmumpad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifbidmumpad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tifbidmumpad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tifbidmumpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Do not record names concerning comets.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide from red manatees for they are unholy.

5. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

Nibflisfag Yakcadtab is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient warg.

Nibflisfag Yakcadtab created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibflisfag Yakcadtab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nibflisfag Yakcadtab, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nibflisfag Yakcadtab's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nibflisfag Yakcadtab's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nibflisfag Yakcadtab on top of all buildings.

5. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

Manlakfom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, pitiless gorilla.

Manlakfom created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Manlakfom, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Manlakfom, she will boil you in a big pot.

Manlakfom's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Manlakfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at dawn.

2. You must pray to Manlakfom five times a day.

3. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

4. Never feed cucumbers to goats while wearing kilts.

5. Always help doves.

Sidstikcub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing tortoise.

Sidstikcub created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidstikcub, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sidstikcub, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sidstikcub's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Sidstikcub's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near mice while wearing red dresses.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to ducks while wearing magenta kilts.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.