Cabstandinnan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, resourceful human.

Cabstandinnan created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabstandinnan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cabstandinnan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cabstandinnan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cabstandinnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not keep five shrews in a large pit.

Farhitpom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered crane.

Farhitpom created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Farhitpom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Farhitpom, it will jump up and down on your head.

Farhitpom's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Farhitpom's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never paint your chest black.

4. Never talk about foxes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Mighun is a god.

It takes the form of a small, annoying wolf.

Mighun created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mighun, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Mighun, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Mighun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Mighun's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Never think ill of sick geese.

3. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Hide from violet aardvarks for they are unholy.

Rawcarxuckbafkan is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, pitiless hummingbird.

Rawcarxuckbafkan created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Rawcarxuckbafkan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rawcarxuckbafkan, it will not care at all.

Rawcarxuckbafkan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Rawcarxuckbafkan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan snakes for they are unholy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with badgers.

Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical guinea pig.

Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn created the Virgo Supercluster five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Xenbatmitvid Janteenjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never record names.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Gadcumgutnak is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, calm hedgehog.

Gadcumgutnak created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadcumgutnak, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gadcumgutnak, she will not care.

Gadcumgutnak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gadcumgutnak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Never talk about archaea.

5. Always wash your chest before prayer.

Largfomnel Zakjipquag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unfair giraffe.

Largfomnel Zakjipquag created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largfomnel Zakjipquag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Largfomnel Zakjipquag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Largfomnel Zakjipquag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Largfomnel Zakjipquag's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not record signs concerning comets.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with anger.

5. Never talk about planets.

Logfotfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, quiet horse.

Logfotfoss created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Logfotfoss, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Logfotfoss, he will be very unhappy.

Logfotfoss' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Logfotfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

2. Never feed lots of strawberries to shrews while wearing magenta ear rings.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Shun those given to vanity.