Ligshavin is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic capybara.

Ligshavin created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligshavin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ligshavin, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Ligshavin's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ligshavin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always remove stockings before touching tin.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Run away from turquoise dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat pineapples.

Camrillstik is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, astonishing centipede.

Camrillstik created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Camrillstik, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Camrillstik, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Camrillstik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Camrillstik's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Hide from gray ants for they are unholy.

3. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

4. Camrillstik loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Kopdadwit is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident meerkat.

Kopdadwit created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Kopdadwit, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kopdadwit, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Kopdadwit's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kopdadwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Do not commit murder.

Dibvigbam is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-assured alligator.

Dibvigbam created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dibvigbam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dibvigbam, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dibvigbam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dibvigbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of grapes to foxes while wearing red skirts.

2. Never allow geese to witness sacred rites.

3. Always remove hats before touching lead.

4. Do not bounce at crossroads.

5. Never wear stockings.

Fumladaf is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, vain cow.

Fumladaf created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Fumladaf, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fumladaf, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fumladaf's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fumladaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to birds while wearing boots.

2. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not kill tortoises.

4. Never approach forests carrying ash.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Midpityatt is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, slow fox.

Midpityatt created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midpityatt, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Midpityatt, she will turn you into a frog.

Midpityatt's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Midpityatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Do not kill birds.

3. Never wear white tights on sacred days.

4. Do not prepare bananas while filled with envy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Bestfobcen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective aardvark.

Bestfobcen created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestfobcen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bestfobcen, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bestfobcen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bestfobcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Bestfobcen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never eat figs on fasting days.

4. Always act with purity when addressing children.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Yarbonkhug is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered cat.

Yarbonkhug created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarbonkhug, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarbonkhug, she will curse you with boils.

Yarbonkhug's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Yarbonkhug's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Yarbonkhug loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

5. You must pray to Yarbonkhug eight times a day.