Sanfemgep is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring bee.

Sanfemgep created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanfemgep, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sanfemgep, she will be very unhappy.

Sanfemgep's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sanfemgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. You must pray to Sanfemgep four times a day.

3. Never feed carrots to cats while wearing violet stockings.

4. Never think ill of sick goats.

5. Do not prepare lentils while filled with anger.

Cebstanhad Titjadmif is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured crane.

Cebstanhad Titjadmif created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebstanhad Titjadmif, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cebstanhad Titjadmif, it will turn you into a worm.

Cebstanhad Titjadmif's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cebstanhad Titjadmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never talk about sheep.

Fedfobxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-assured cobra.

Fedfobxuck created the Large Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fedfobxuck, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fedfobxuck, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fedfobxuck's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Fedfobxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snakes with great respect.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fedfobxuck.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Mitnul is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing swan.

Mitnul created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Mitnul, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mitnul, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Mitnul's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Mitnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with joy.

2. Never wear pink stockings on sacred days.

3. Never travel toward the south during summer.

4. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.

5. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Mitnul in the centre of the settlement.

Quaflatzim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest crane.

Quaflatzim created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quaflatzim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quaflatzim, he will try to impress you with trees.

Quaflatzim's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Quaflatzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never record names.

3. You must pray to Quaflatzim four times a day.

4. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

Cetcumbop is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, merciful owl.

Cetcumbop created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Cetcumbop, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetcumbop, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cetcumbop's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cetcumbop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Cetcumbop in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not take Cetcumbop's name in vain.

3. Put Cetcumbop first in all things.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Hide from violet eagles for they are unholy.

Vedmadlab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able mole.

Vedmadlab created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Vedmadlab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vedmadlab, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vedmadlab's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Vedmadlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never wear white boots.

3. Never touch blood while tainted.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look in ponds.

Dissweebonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, selfish deer.

Dissweebonk created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissweebonk, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dissweebonk, he will cry a lot.

Dissweebonk's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dissweebonk's Holy Commandments

1. Dissweebonk must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always cleanse blood with water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.