Nabraktig is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty rhinoceros.

Nabraktig created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabraktig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nabraktig, she will turn you into a rock.

Nabraktig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Nabraktig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always help ants in need.

4. Never think ill of sick manatees.

5. Always look after injured mites.

Sasdumtik is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humorless toad.

Sasdumtik created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasdumtik, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sasdumtik, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sasdumtik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Sasdumtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help eagles in need.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never wear green dresses on sacred days.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look at stars.

Gupqueeggep is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, quiet wombat.

Gupqueeggep created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupqueeggep, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gupqueeggep, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gupqueeggep's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gupqueeggep's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Do not record signs concerning moons.

5. Never hop in holy places.

Venvin Gofgamdunkan is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, stupid cat.

Venvin Gofgamdunkan created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Venvin Gofgamdunkan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Venvin Gofgamdunkan, it will throw large rocks at you.

Venvin Gofgamdunkan's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Venvin Gofgamdunkan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five zinc sculptures of Venvin Gofgamdunkan on top of important buildings.

2. Never chant in winter.

3. Never feed nuts to cats while wearing stockings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. Never wear red tights on sacred days.

Somlakjadtomgubzancempog is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, awesome dragonfly.

Somlakjadtomgubzancempog created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somlakjadtomgubzancempog, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Somlakjadtomgubzancempog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Somlakjadtomgubzancempog's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Somlakjadtomgubzancempog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not keep eight grasshopers in a large pit.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Somlakjadtomgubzancempog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not prepare wheat while wearing scarves.

Cudponnell is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, vain crane.

Cudponnell created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Cudponnell, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cudponnell, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cudponnell's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cudponnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve tights on sacred days.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Do not bounce at mountains.

Cemlarncem is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, able troll.

Cemlarncem created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemlarncem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cemlarncem, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cemlarncem's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cemlarncem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never allow pigs to sleep beneath your roof.

5. You must pray to Cemlarncem five times a day.

Nartpagdun is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, stupid squirrel.

Nartpagdun created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nartpagdun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nartpagdun, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Nartpagdun's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nartpagdun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Run away from indigo swans, for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if six pigs approach from the south.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.