Bogtadnurtsan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable monkey.

Bogtadnurtsan created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtadnurtsan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bogtadnurtsan, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bogtadnurtsan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bogtadnurtsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not name children after bats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Targwitfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome hippopotamus.

Targwitfarn created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targwitfarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Targwitfarn, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Targwitfarn's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Targwitfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Do not record names concerning asteroids.

4. Do not prepare garlic while filled with fear.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Hinbogpag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, strong dugong.

Hinbogpag created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinbogpag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hinbogpag, he will turn you into a slug.

Hinbogpag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Hinbogpag's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Do not hop at rivers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always act with obedience.

5. Never feed corn to porpoises while wearing violet shoes.

Nuttvinmil Nutthomhak is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, strong donkey.

Nuttvinmil Nutthomhak created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvinmil Nutthomhak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nuttvinmil Nutthomhak, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Nuttvinmil Nutthomhak's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nuttvinmil Nutthomhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not travel during spring.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

Yartcatyam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, slow wasp.

Yartcatyam created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartcatyam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yartcatyam, it will turn you into a worm.

Yartcatyam's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Yartcatyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Run away if six badgers approach from the south.

3. Yartcatyam loves turtles, so they must be respected.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Never hurt tapirs.

Carvabtapmigcunhunlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthoughtful toad.

Carvabtapmigcunhunlarp created the Sunflower Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carvabtapmigcunhunlarp, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Carvabtapmigcunhunlarp, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Carvabtapmigcunhunlarp's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Carvabtapmigcunhunlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never gather seven goats in one place.

3. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Vonkhinyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, quiet dugong.

Vonkhinyatt created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkhinyatt, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonkhinyatt, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vonkhinyatt's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vonkhinyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never mark doors with turquoise.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Do not record signs concerning planets.

Fubonthub is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, sapient snail.

Fubonthub created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubonthub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fubonthub, he will destroy your favourite star.

Fubonthub's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fubonthub's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Never eat melons.

4. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

5. Fubonthub loves snails, so they must be respected.