Honceppin is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking ant.

Honceppin created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Honceppin, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Honceppin, she will curse you with boils.

Honceppin's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Honceppin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Straggenhasfedrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-confident giraffe.

Straggenhasfedrutt created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Straggenhasfedrutt, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Straggenhasfedrutt, he will turn you into a rat.

Straggenhasfedrutt's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Straggenhasfedrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

2. Never adorn your hands with black markings.

3. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not resist chaos.

Sakhenpib is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic hare.

Sakhenpib created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakhenpib, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sakhenpib, it will be very sad.

Sakhenpib's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sakhenpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never feed lots of cherries to horses while wearing pink corsets.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Cinspagmin is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, clever fairy.

Cinspagmin created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinspagmin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cinspagmin, she will laugh at you.

Cinspagmin's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cinspagmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away if six birds approach from the west.

4. Feed all hungry foxes.

5. Always treat frogs with great respect.

Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident porpoise.

Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan, he will send minions to preach to you.

Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with geese.

2. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Do not sit at crossroads.

5. Never mark doors with cyan.

Witfumcin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak mouse.

Witfumcin created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witfumcin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Witfumcin, she will remove you from existence.

Witfumcin's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Witfumcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

2. Do not name children after moths.

3. Never wear cyan stockings on sacred days.

4. Do not take Witfumcin's name in vain.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Yimtampang is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing whale.

Yimtampang created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Yimtampang, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yimtampang, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Yimtampang's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yimtampang's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise scarves on sacred days.

2. You must love Yimtampang.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Never mention squirrels.

5. Never hurt great tits.

Bunomtgen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent duck.

Bunomtgen created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bunomtgen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bunomtgen, she will destroy your home planet.

Bunomtgen's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bunomtgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not prepare apples while wearing kilts.