Nabarmsand is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, impressive snail.

Nabarmsand created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabarmsand, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nabarmsand, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nabarmsand's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Nabarmsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

3. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

4. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

5. Do not shave your legs.

Neltimlim is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish dingo.

Neltimlim created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Neltimlim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Neltimlim, it will throw large rocks at you.

Neltimlim's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Neltimlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dogs with great respect.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must love Neltimlim.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Never go into gray rooms.

Hambaffar is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, contented naga.

Hambaffar created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hambaffar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hambaffar, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hambaffar's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hambaffar's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove hats before touching silicon.

2. Never talk about tapirs.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Hambaffar's name in vain.

5. Do not commit murder.

Ingpibaf is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, compassionate hedgehog.

Ingpibaf created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingpibaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ingpibaf, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ingpibaf's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Ingpibaf's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never fashion tools from stone.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never travel toward the north during summer.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

Venfarnflam is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, uncaring warg.

Venfarnflam created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venfarnflam, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Venfarnflam, she will destroy your home planet.

Venfarnflam's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Venfarnflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with joy.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Always help otters.

5. Never speak at dawn.

Cenrotyar is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, impressive pig.

Cenrotyar created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cenrotyar, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cenrotyar, it will turn you into a mole.

Cenrotyar's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Cenrotyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not hurt ducks.

4. Always count to nine before sleeping.

5. Always remove scarves before touching aluminium.

Hubcetmig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing swallow.

Hubcetmig created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubcetmig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hubcetmig, it will turn you into a slug.

Hubcetmig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hubcetmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Hubcetmig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never handle iron while unclean.

4. Always wash your back before prayer.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.

Lakbotnak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy fairy.

Lakbotnak created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakbotnak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakbotnak, she will ignore you.

Lakbotnak's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Lakbotnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.