Hugtithan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, quiet sheep.

Hugtithan created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Hugtithan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hugtithan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Hugtithan's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hugtithan's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle nickel while unclean.

2. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Do not resist order.

Sagbemfub is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, all-knowing beaver.

Sagbemfub created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagbemfub, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sagbemfub, she will turn you into a slug.

Sagbemfub's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sagbemfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

3. Never mention nematodes.

4. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Sagbemfub.

Madgemmob is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty capybara.

Madgemmob created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Madgemmob, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Madgemmob, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Madgemmob's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Madgemmob's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Madgemmob in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never mix lentils with ash.

5. Do not keep five otters in a large pit.

Honmigbudrak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing fox.

Honmigbudrak created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Honmigbudrak, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Honmigbudrak, he will send minions to preach to you.

Honmigbudrak's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Honmigbudrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never speak aloud of numbers.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

Midjamxin is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, effective crocodile.

Midjamxin created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midjamxin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Midjamxin, she will jump up and down on your head.

Midjamxin's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Midjamxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Midjamxin.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Do not hurt rats.

Vabpidpit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable weasel.

Vabpidpit created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Vabpidpit, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vabpidpit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vabpidpit's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Vabpidpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never mark doors with mauve.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Retreat if eight capybaras approach from the south.

Loggepspagdissfarnig is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, calm frog.

Loggepspagdissfarnig created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Loggepspagdissfarnig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Loggepspagdissfarnig, he will send minions to preach to you.

Loggepspagdissfarnig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Loggepspagdissfarnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Loggepspagdissfarnig loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not resist balance.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Gomsogomt is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, smart capybara.

Gomsogomt created the Virgo Supercluster three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomsogomt, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gomsogomt, she will throw large rocks at you.

Gomsogomt's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gomsogomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near pigs.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Gomsogomt in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

4. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.