Gonortragdogdavqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, uncaring troll.

Gonortragdogdavqueeg created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonortragdogdavqueeg, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gonortragdogdavqueeg, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gonortragdogdavqueeg's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gonortragdogdavqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Gonortragdogdavqueeg in the centre of the settlement.

2. Gonortragdogdavqueeg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Respect your elders.

Japvedtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, strong clam.

Japvedtaf created the planet Venus twelve years ago.

If you believe in Japvedtaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Japvedtaf, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Japvedtaf's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Japvedtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from copper.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not consume figs at dawn.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

Yimappgup Apprenyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable dryad.

Yimappgup Apprenyarl created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimappgup Apprenyarl, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yimappgup Apprenyarl, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yimappgup Apprenyarl's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Yimappgup Apprenyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silver sculptures of Yimappgup Apprenyarl on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Yimappgup Apprenyarl in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if seven doves approach from the west.

5. Heed all portents.

Yimkopcabnull is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet wolf.

Yimkopcabnull created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Yimkopcabnull, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yimkopcabnull, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yimkopcabnull's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Yimkopcabnull's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to eight before sleeping.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

5. Never pray while filled with envy.

Boghivdidtettibetvig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, selfish swallow.

Boghivdidtettibetvig created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Boghivdidtettibetvig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Boghivdidtettibetvig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Boghivdidtettibetvig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Boghivdidtettibetvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of snakes.

2. You must love Boghivdidtettibetvig.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never hurt squirrels.

Hugflatdib is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, moody horse.

Hugflatdib created the Sunflower Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugflatdib, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hugflatdib, it will ignore you.

Hugflatdib's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hugflatdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never cross forests at dusk.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never gather nine whales in one place.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

Figxemstig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tranquil squirrel.

Figxemstig created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figxemstig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Figxemstig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Figxemstig's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Figxemstig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never stain your back with brown.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

Farndidzed is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ruthless deer.

Farndidzed created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Farndidzed, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Farndidzed, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Farndidzed's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Farndidzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. You must pray to Farndidzed four times a day.

3. Run away if six voles approach from the west.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never prepare beans during spring.