Suglenfum is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, stupid centaur.

Suglenfum created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Suglenfum, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Suglenfum, she will have a low opinion of you.

Suglenfum's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Suglenfum's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

3. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always obey Suglenfum's priests.

Yimzenkim is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured raccoon.

Yimzenkim created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimzenkim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yimzenkim, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yimzenkim's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Yimzenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Always help hamsters in need.

3. Never travel toward the north during spring.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Do not name children after dolphins.

Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep is a god.

She takes the form of a large, amazing shrew.

Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quafmetzenbatcabbempas Vegrengep's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow eagles to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

3. Never feed lots of spinach to tapirs while wearing fawn hats.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Never talk about spacetime.

Pigstanhit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unfair gnu.

Pigstanhit created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigstanhit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pigstanhit, he will turn you into a mouse.

Pigstanhit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pigstanhit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your face before prayer.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not prepare nuts while wearing boots.

5. Always help seals in need.

Fablindud is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured beaver.

Fablindud created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fablindud, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fablindud, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fablindud's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fablindud's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Cimpasvig Fedbugcedtonkkemfidpog is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured bird.

Cimpasvig Fedbugcedtonkkemfidpog created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimpasvig Fedbugcedtonkkemfidpog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cimpasvig Fedbugcedtonkkemfidpog, he will not invite you to parties.

Cimpasvig Fedbugcedtonkkemfidpog's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Cimpasvig Fedbugcedtonkkemfidpog's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always treat shrews with great respect.

5. Always wash your feet before prayer.

Ragpinzagtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-confident eagle.

Ragpinzagtonk created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ragpinzagtonk, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ragpinzagtonk, she will turn you into a snail.

Ragpinzagtonk's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Ragpinzagtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ragpinzagtonk's name in vain.

2. Always share pineapples with strangers, but never with badgers.

3. Always help geese in need.

4. Do not keep three horses in a large pit.

5. Never think about gravity near manatees while wearing white dresses and balancing five lead spheres on your hands.

Libcargut is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, sage bear.

Libcargut created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Libcargut, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Libcargut, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Libcargut's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Libcargut's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with magenta.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Libcargut in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not record signs concerning black holes.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.