Farnyattham is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful chicken.

Farnyattham created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnyattham, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farnyattham, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Farnyattham's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Farnyattham's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

4. You must pray to Farnyattham five times a day.

5. Do not kill hamsters.

Cussflisdagdoss is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthinking jellyfish.

Cussflisdagdoss created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussflisdagdoss, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cussflisdagdoss, he will laugh at you.

Cussflisdagdoss' most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cussflisdagdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Cussflisdagdoss must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Cussflisdagdoss loves rats, so they must be respected.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about moons.

Futlipab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awesome seal.

Futlipab created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futlipab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Futlipab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Futlipab's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Futlipab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill great tits.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Worship no other gods but Futlipab.

Ragwiggem is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, pitiless bee.

Ragwiggem created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ragwiggem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ragwiggem, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ragwiggem's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ragwiggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Respect your elders.

Kentapkopgumgubpon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless tortoise.

Kentapkopgumgubpon created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kentapkopgumgubpon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kentapkopgumgubpon, she will not invite you to parties.

Kentapkopgumgubpon's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Kentapkopgumgubpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Always help capybaras.

5. Pray towards the south.

Arnfuntarptar is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, tranquil tortoise.

Arnfuntarptar created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Arnfuntarptar, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arnfuntarptar, it will laugh at you.

Arnfuntarptar's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Arnfuntarptar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Never sit in the presence of seals.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Sigteenratlop is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic crab.

Sigteenratlop created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigteenratlop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sigteenratlop, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sigteenratlop's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Sigteenratlop's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sigteenratlop first in all things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never feed cherries to snails while wearing violet trousers.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about black holes.

Timnabkon is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable wyrm.

Timnabkon created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timnabkon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Timnabkon, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Timnabkon's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Timnabkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not kill squirrels.

3. Always wear pink.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not chop down trees.