Dobgoffedjadbonbigcibgup is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent guinea pig.

Dobgoffedjadbonbigcibgup created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dobgoffedjadbonbigcibgup, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dobgoffedjadbonbigcibgup, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Dobgoffedjadbonbigcibgup's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Dobgoffedjadbonbigcibgup's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear cyan corsets on sacred days.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobgoffedjadbonbigcibgup.

Veentofnel is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient goose.

Veentofnel created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veentofnel, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Veentofnel, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Veentofnel's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Veentofnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove rings before touching silicon.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Run away from orange ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Do not prepare beans while wearing shirts.

Wabzigflissidbutbanpanglin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish pigeon.

Wabzigflissidbutbanpanglin created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabzigflissidbutbanpanglin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wabzigflissidbutbanpanglin, she will turn you into a puffin.

Wabzigflissidbutbanpanglin's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Wabzigflissidbutbanpanglin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ants.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Tenarmban is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful frog.

Tenarmban created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tenarmban, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenarmban, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tenarmban's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tenarmban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from black porpoises, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to ducks while wearing mauve kilts.

5. Never talk about pigs.

Teenpopnar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, weak jellyfish.

Teenpopnar created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Teenpopnar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Teenpopnar, it will turn you into a rock.

Teenpopnar's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Teenpopnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Teenpopnar loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Never eat limes.

Tongedfly is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful grasshopper.

Tongedfly created parasitic wasps seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tongedfly, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tongedfly, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tongedfly's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tongedfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix apples with oil.

2. Do not consume tomatoes at dawn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not eat carrots.

5. Do not travel during winter.

Maplarpmipjan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, irritating jackal.

Maplarpmipjan created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Maplarpmipjan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Maplarpmipjan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Maplarpmipjan's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Maplarpmipjan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Maplarpmipjan first in all things.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Maplarpmipjan.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Never think about planets.

Pigdutquag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, boastful parrot.

Pigdutquag created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigdutquag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pigdutquag, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Pigdutquag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Pigdutquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Pigdutquag's priests.

2. Erect six iron sculptures of Pigdutquag on top of important buildings.

3. Do not gather at doors at midday.

4. Always help sick mice.

5. Never pray while filled with pride.