Cutkenhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, selfish troll.

Cutkenhiv created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cutkenhiv, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cutkenhiv, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Cutkenhiv's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cutkenhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing fawn rings.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

Canweebell is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable swallow.

Canweebell created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Canweebell, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Canweebell, she will laugh at you.

Canweebell's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Canweebell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near rats while wearing black skirts and balancing four iron spheres on your legs.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Canweebell on top of all buildings.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

4. Never cross mountains at midnight.

5. Always take life seriously.

Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, conceited squid.

Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag, it will turn you into a puffin.

Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag on top of all buildings.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Catfithat Appbamven Bamlamzag loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Baplargsand is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful butterfly.

Baplargsand created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baplargsand, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Baplargsand, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Baplargsand's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Baplargsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with red.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never mix figs with ash.

4. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

5. Never think about optics near dolphins while wearing white stockings and balancing six silver spheres on your arms.

Vadfligpadteen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, able alligator.

Vadfligpadteen created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadfligpadteen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vadfligpadteen, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vadfligpadteen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Vadfligpadteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never feed corn to sheep while wearing yellow kilts.

3. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

Vildabgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, dishonourable crow.

Vildabgeb created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vildabgeb, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vildabgeb, he will turn you into a goat.

Vildabgeb's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vildabgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach forests carrying stone.

2. Never fashion tools from bone.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

5. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

Nelzenken is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous skunk.

Nelzenken created the Small Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Nelzenken, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nelzenken, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Nelzenken's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Nelzenken's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Nelzenken on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Gulls are not to be trusted.

5. Do not prepare bananas while wearing shirts.

Rapnakgub is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-confident duck.

Rapnakgub created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapnakgub, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rapnakgub, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Rapnakgub's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Rapnakgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing east.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.