Zodlidpintofbuspid is a god.

She takes the form of a small, tiresome wren.

Zodlidpintofbuspid created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodlidpintofbuspid, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zodlidpintofbuspid, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zodlidpintofbuspid's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Zodlidpintofbuspid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Zodlidpintofbuspid loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Always treat snakes with great respect.

Tonkganjap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered hamster.

Tonkganjap created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkganjap, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tonkganjap, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tonkganjap's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tonkganjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think about gravity near dolphins while wearing green boots and balancing seven silver spheres on your chest.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

5. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.

Quatdapjon is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, weak meerkat.

Quatdapjon created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatdapjon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quatdapjon, it will ignore you.

Quatdapjon's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Quatdapjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never hop near snails.

4. Never mention geese.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

Jandongarvagyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered fairy.

Jandongarvagyatt created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jandongarvagyatt, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jandongarvagyatt, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jandongarvagyatt's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Jandongarvagyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Karwegdud is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, fussy crane.

Karwegdud created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Karwegdud, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Karwegdud, it will not care.

Karwegdud's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Karwegdud's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

3. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Remain standing during prayer.

Quagkaddun Bonkceblop is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable fish.

Quagkaddun Bonkceblop created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagkaddun Bonkceblop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quagkaddun Bonkceblop, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quagkaddun Bonkceblop's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Quagkaddun Bonkceblop's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

2. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with pigs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Quagkaddun Bonkceblop loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Always act with purity when addressing priests.

Doghugdag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humane swan.

Doghugdag created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Doghugdag, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Doghugdag, it will have a low opinion of you.

Doghugdag's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Doghugdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying wood.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to pigs while wearing fawn kilts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Bepbedpad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive jackal.

Bepbedpad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbedpad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepbedpad, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bepbedpad's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Bepbedpad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat wheat on days of mourning.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with brown.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with envy.