Lopcadhad is a god.

He takes the form of a small, conceited otter.

Lopcadhad created the Sunflower Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Lopcadhad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lopcadhad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lopcadhad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lopcadhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lopcadhad.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear hats.

Fenzoggupvighugtonkrow is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable centipede.

Fenzoggupvighugtonkrow created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenzoggupvighugtonkrow, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Fenzoggupvighugtonkrow, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fenzoggupvighugtonkrow's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Fenzoggupvighugtonkrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

3. Never pray while filled with fear.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

Quagmanrak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring newt.

Quagmanrak created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagmanrak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quagmanrak, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quagmanrak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Quagmanrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with blue.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

3. Remain kneeling during prayer.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Never look in ponds.

Fabingfum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy dolphin.

Fabingfum created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabingfum, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fabingfum, it will turn you into a sheep.

Fabingfum's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Fabingfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix figs with oil.

2. Do not prepare garlic while filled with anger.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not resist balance.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

Rutrowtunnan is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable bee.

Rutrowtunnan created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutrowtunnan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rutrowtunnan, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Rutrowtunnan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Rutrowtunnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near geese while wearing blue trousers and balancing three iron spheres on your chest.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

Hogwabflab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish parrot.

Hogwabflab created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogwabflab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hogwabflab, he will turn you into a tree.

Hogwabflab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Hogwabflab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never travel toward the east during winter.

5. Never think about spacetime.

Quimlop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, capable grasshopper.

Quimlop created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimlop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quimlop, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quimlop's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quimlop's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Quimlop loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

3. You must pray to Quimlop seven times a day.

4. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Babgampag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous rhinoceros.

Babgampag created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babgampag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Babgampag, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Babgampag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Babgampag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet stockings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never remain bowed at midnight.

4. Do not prepare beans while filled with fear.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.