Nutyattlibkom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthoughtful aardvark.

Nutyattlibkom created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutyattlibkom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nutyattlibkom, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nutyattlibkom's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nutyattlibkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five whales in one place.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Do not keep nine manatees in a large pit.

Vantiplig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless elephant.

Vantiplig created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vantiplig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vantiplig, he will turn you into a duck.

Vantiplig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Vantiplig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

2. Never prepare strawberries during autumn.

3. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

Hoghuncun is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, able cow.

Hoghuncun created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoghuncun, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hoghuncun, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hoghuncun's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hoghuncun's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look after injured capybaras.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.

Zimtonknul Tifhanzak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful whale.

Zimtonknul Tifhanzak created the Andromeda Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimtonknul Tifhanzak, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zimtonknul Tifhanzak, she will turn you into a rat.

Zimtonknul Tifhanzak's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zimtonknul Tifhanzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never mention shrews.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

5. Never fashion tools from stone.

Zodpopvigcan Didteenquim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, irritating grasshopper.

Zodpopvigcan Didteenquim created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodpopvigcan Didteenquim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zodpopvigcan Didteenquim, she will be very unhappy.

Zodpopvigcan Didteenquim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zodpopvigcan Didteenquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sheep.

2. Never think ill of sick whales.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Never leap in spring.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Methashan Zodsawcam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, calm swallow.

Methashan Zodsawcam created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Methashan Zodsawcam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Methashan Zodsawcam, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Methashan Zodsawcam's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Methashan Zodsawcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Never paint your arms orange.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never touch water while clean.

Japtarprull Wiptarpnul is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, stupid elephant.

Japtarprull Wiptarpnul created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japtarprull Wiptarpnul, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Japtarprull Wiptarpnul, he will be very unhappy.

Japtarprull Wiptarpnul's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Japtarprull Wiptarpnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about spacetime near birds while wearing gray scarves.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Boghapfom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witty fox.

Boghapfom created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Boghapfom, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Boghapfom, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Boghapfom's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Boghapfom's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Never laugh in summer.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Boghapfom in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Never sprint in holy places.