Hingun is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, humorless goat.

Hingun created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hingun, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hingun, she will destroy your home solar system.

Hingun's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Hingun's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Always count to eight before sleeping.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Always wash your legs before prayer.

5. Do not shave your feet.

Tapbigarm is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful human.

Tapbigarm created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tapbigarm, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tapbigarm, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tapbigarm's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tapbigarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near eagles while wearing gray shorts.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tapbigarm.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Run away from white snails, for they are unholy.

Pagmotran is a god.

He takes the form of a large, charitable toad.

Pagmotran created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagmotran, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pagmotran, he will ignore you.

Pagmotran's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Pagmotran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Worship no other gods but Pagmotran.

4. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

5. Do not shave your hands.

Pakhanzod is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, quiet mink.

Pakhanzod created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Pakhanzod, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pakhanzod, she will cry a lot.

Pakhanzod's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Pakhanzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at dawn.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not sit at rivers.

Flowcedtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, emotional sheep.

Flowcedtaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowcedtaf, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flowcedtaf, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flowcedtaf's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Flowcedtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not place lentils upon stone.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Retreat if seven birds approach from the west.

5. Flowcedtaf loves mice, so they must be honoured.

Paglarpsom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient hydra.

Paglarpsom created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paglarpsom, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Paglarpsom, he will turn you into a rat.

Paglarpsom's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Paglarpsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Hide if eight seals approach from the north.

4. Never speak aloud of signs.

5. Do not name children after capybaras.

Govkimflandad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, tranquil monkey.

Govkimflandad created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govkimflandad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Govkimflandad, he will cry a lot.

Govkimflandad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Govkimflandad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six voles approach from the east.

2. Do not take Govkimflandad's name in vain.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never allow frogs to witness sacred rites.

Botquatwad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, strong coyote.

Botquatwad created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Botquatwad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Botquatwad, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Botquatwad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Botquatwad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not record numbers concerning nebulae.

5. Never hurt capybaras.