Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, happy cobra.

Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tiklenbogbastponsag Libnurlnurtcan eight times a day.

2. Never gather four squirrels near walls.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Do not speak about cherries.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Hakflap is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, pitiless finch.

Hakflap created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakflap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hakflap, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hakflap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hakflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always wear violet.

Bigvennel Gomgovbap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy wolf.

Bigvennel Gomgovbap created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigvennel Gomgovbap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bigvennel Gomgovbap, it will remove you from existence.

Bigvennel Gomgovbap's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bigvennel Gomgovbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not name children after manatees.

4. Do not kill tapirs.

5. Never wear gray ear rings on sacred days.

Farvegcip Hasbellfot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful naga.

Farvegcip Hasbellfot created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Farvegcip Hasbellfot, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Farvegcip Hasbellfot, he will not care at all.

Farvegcip Hasbellfot's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Farvegcip Hasbellfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Never talk about gravity near capybaras while wearing green trousers and balancing six nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never handle tin while unclean.

Zagtunstip is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, weak goose.

Zagtunstip created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtunstip, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zagtunstip, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Zagtunstip's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zagtunstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never feed lots of corn to rats while wearing orange skirts.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.

Yokwabdad is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, vain dove.

Yokwabdad created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokwabdad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yokwabdad, she will cry a lot.

Yokwabdad's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Yokwabdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare strawberries while wearing shirts.

2. Yokwabdad loves cats, so they must be honoured.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yokwabdad.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.

Pangjinken is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, resourceful turtle.

Pangjinken created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangjinken, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pangjinken, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pangjinken's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Pangjinken's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Do not wear kilts marked with mauve.

3. Always help ducks.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Do not record numbers concerning galaxies.

Pagbadflap is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow jellyfish.

Pagbadflap created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagbadflap, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pagbadflap, it will turn you into a mole.

Pagbadflap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Pagbadflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Do not travel during autumn.