Govingsin is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent spider.

Govingsin created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govingsin, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Govingsin, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Govingsin's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Govingsin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

3. Worship no other gods but Govingsin.

4. Always obey Govingsin's priests.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.

Dotvonkvol is a god.

He takes the form of a small, ruthless mouse.

Dotvonkvol created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotvonkvol, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dotvonkvol, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dotvonkvol's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dotvonkvol's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three snails approach from the north.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Never stain your feet with red.

4. Never gather nine bats near wells.

5. Never fashion tools from bone.

Wotgeplag is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, intelligent warg.

Wotgeplag created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Wotgeplag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wotgeplag, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Wotgeplag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Wotgeplag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wotgeplag.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not run at mountains.

Listcissnell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, caring mongoose.

Listcissnell created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Listcissnell, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Listcissnell, he will turn you into a slug.

Listcissnell's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Listcissnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not wear jumpers marked with purple.

5. Never mix bread with blood.

Zancunstik is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthoughtful raven.

Zancunstik created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zancunstik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zancunstik, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zancunstik's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Zancunstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Never chant while facing south.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Pignibsat is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pignibsat created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pignibsat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pignibsat, it will make you grow a tail.

Pignibsat's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Pignibsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

3. Always wash your hands before prayer.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with foxes.

Nigflatkom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless fish.

Nigflatkom created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigflatkom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nigflatkom, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nigflatkom's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nigflatkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing green boots.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

Bonksafdim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless goose.

Bonksafdim created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonksafdim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bonksafdim, she will remove you from existence.

Bonksafdim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bonksafdim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. You must pray to Bonksafdim nine times a day.

4. Bonksafdim loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.