Flamlogsad is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent wolf.

Flamlogsad created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamlogsad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flamlogsad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Flamlogsad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Flamlogsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Shun those given to sloth.

5. Flamlogsad must be the most important thing in your life.

Tipmilveg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unthoughtful gnu.

Tipmilveg created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipmilveg, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tipmilveg, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Tipmilveg's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tipmilveg's Holy Commandments

1. Tipmilveg loves swans, so they must be respected.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never sprint near doves.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tipmilveg.

5. Never talk about fire.

Stippittarbatwan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, astonishing rat.

Stippittarbatwan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stippittarbatwan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stippittarbatwan, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Stippittarbatwan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Stippittarbatwan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never allow porpoises to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.

Kabjondap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless wyvern.

Kabjondap created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabjondap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kabjondap, he will turn you into a worm.

Kabjondap's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Kabjondap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not place apples upon stone.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Sidgenmip Xucdubgom Dobnillyim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, egotistical human.

Sidgenmip Xucdubgom Dobnillyim created the Virgo Supercluster four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidgenmip Xucdubgom Dobnillyim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sidgenmip Xucdubgom Dobnillyim, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Sidgenmip Xucdubgom Dobnillyim's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sidgenmip Xucdubgom Dobnillyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow geese to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always help sick snakes.

3. Never speak at dusk.

4. Do not kill aardvarks.

5. Hide from cyan ants for they are unholy.

Kimvedfitdog is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic shark.

Kimvedfitdog created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimvedfitdog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kimvedfitdog, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kimvedfitdog's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kimvedfitdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Never leap near rats.

3. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never speak aloud of secrets.

Linteentig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, impressive goblin.

Linteentig created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Linteentig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Linteentig, it will not invite you to parties.

Linteentig's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Linteentig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing orange ear rings and balancing seven lead spheres on your feet.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Nibnancim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome chinchilla.

Nibnancim created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibnancim, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nibnancim, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Nibnancim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nibnancim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nibnancim.

2. Always help squirrels.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Nibnancim in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not make images of living things.