Neljatloopomtvog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful armadillo.

Neljatloopomtvog created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Neljatloopomtvog, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Neljatloopomtvog, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Neljatloopomtvog's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Neljatloopomtvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near porpoises while wearing violet scarves and balancing six gold spheres on your chest.

3. Never bounce near shrews.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

Wabloopfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, uncaring centipede.

Wabloopfoss created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabloopfoss, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wabloopfoss, she will not care at all.

Wabloopfoss' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Wabloopfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Never adorn your hands with orange markings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Cepnull is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, annoying wren.

Cepnull created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepnull, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cepnull, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cepnull's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cepnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tights marked with orange.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Never handle iron while unclean.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Cepnull on top of all buildings.

5. Never record secrets.

Gadtonrat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable cobra.

Gadtonrat created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadtonrat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gadtonrat, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gadtonrat's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gadtonrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Never wear blue jumpers on sacred days.

5. Never go into black rooms.

Gablimtif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, able spider.

Gablimtif created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gablimtif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gablimtif, he will destroy your home solar system.

Gablimtif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gablimtif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never record names.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never touch blood while blessed.

5. Never eat peas on fasting days.

Metkancem is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, smart chicken.

Metkancem created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Metkancem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Metkancem, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Metkancem's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Metkancem's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your face with black markings.

2. Do not sing at rivers.

3. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Always obey Metkancem's priests.

Wansitjenfoss Hatcepcatboss Babquimgon is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered frog.

Wansitjenfoss Hatcepcatboss Babquimgon created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wansitjenfoss Hatcepcatboss Babquimgon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wansitjenfoss Hatcepcatboss Babquimgon, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Wansitjenfoss Hatcepcatboss Babquimgon's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Wansitjenfoss Hatcepcatboss Babquimgon's Holy Commandments

1. Wansitjenfoss Hatcepcatboss Babquimgon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never allow mice to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never jump in the presence of elders.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

Wanbotlag is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate bird.

Wanbotlag created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Wanbotlag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wanbotlag, she will send minions to preach to you.

Wanbotlag's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Wanbotlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Hide from magenta foxes for they are unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about dark matter near seals while wearing black trousers and balancing five copper spheres on your arms.

5. Do not prepare oranges while wearing rings.