Sidlidlit Tagstragraw is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, self-assured shark.

Sidlidlit Tagstragraw created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidlidlit Tagstragraw, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sidlidlit Tagstragraw, it will laugh at you.

Sidlidlit Tagstragraw's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Sidlidlit Tagstragraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Never leap in the presence of elders.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about dark matter.

Fadgonbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unjust horse.

Fadgonbiss created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fadgonbiss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fadgonbiss, he will torture you forever.

Fadgonbiss' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fadgonbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near capybaras while wearing black dresses and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.

2. Always obey Fadgonbiss' priests.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat spinach.

Guptalbest is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful beaver.

Guptalbest created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Guptalbest, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Guptalbest, he will turn you into a rock.

Guptalbest's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Guptalbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

3. Worship no other gods but Guptalbest.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never curse while facing south.

Vignullsidpitnullsterjinvig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless faun.

Vignullsidpitnullsterjinvig created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vignullsidpitnullsterjinvig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vignullsidpitnullsterjinvig, she will be mildly annoyed.

Vignullsidpitnullsterjinvig's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vignullsidpitnullsterjinvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vignullsidpitnullsterjinvig's name in vain.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not hurt moths.

4. Always act with humility.

5. Never mention birds.

Hivzakbod is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witless hippopotamus.

Hivzakbod created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hivzakbod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hivzakbod, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hivzakbod's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Hivzakbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Run away from pink mice, for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Quillbamlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-knowing yak.

Quillbamlarg created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillbamlarg, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quillbamlarg, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quillbamlarg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Quillbamlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

2. Never run in autumn.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Do not kill sharks.

Hinlimmet is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental mole.

Hinlimmet created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinlimmet, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hinlimmet, it will destroy your favourite star.

Hinlimmet's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Hinlimmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

2. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always store cucumbers above ground.

Dapvegsadtab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish lion.

Dapvegsadtab created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapvegsadtab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dapvegsadtab, he will strike you with lightening.

Dapvegsadtab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dapvegsadtab's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Dapvegsadtab on top of all buildings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never handle lead while unclean.

5. Never look at comets.