Beppibkad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident mongoose.

Beppibkad created the Tadpole Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Beppibkad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Beppibkad, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Beppibkad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Beppibkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always remove rings before touching copper.

Bafmotnel is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unjust zebra.

Bafmotnel created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Bafmotnel, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bafmotnel, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bafmotnel's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bafmotnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Bafmotnel loves seals, so they must be respected.

4. Do not keep three mites in a large pit.

5. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

Shavtinstik Saglamquat Rulhuntad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring lion.

Shavtinstik Saglamquat Rulhuntad created the Tadpole Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavtinstik Saglamquat Rulhuntad, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Shavtinstik Saglamquat Rulhuntad, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Shavtinstik Saglamquat Rulhuntad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Shavtinstik Saglamquat Rulhuntad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Yamvedyogcinbellsand Quammobyog Flignelfad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional dog.

Yamvedyogcinbellsand Quammobyog Flignelfad created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamvedyogcinbellsand Quammobyog Flignelfad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamvedyogcinbellsand Quammobyog Flignelfad, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yamvedyogcinbellsand Quammobyog Flignelfad's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Yamvedyogcinbellsand Quammobyog Flignelfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never skip in the presence of elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yamvedyogcinbellsand Quammobyog Flignelfad.

Wonminshav is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witless otter.

Wonminshav created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonminshav, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wonminshav, he will think nothing of it.

Wonminshav's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Wonminshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

2. Do not place oranges upon stone.

3. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.

Tonkpidwad is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able rhinoceros.

Tonkpidwad created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkpidwad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tonkpidwad, she will think nothing of it.

Tonkpidwad's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Tonkpidwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tonkpidwad's name in vain.

2. Never point your arms toward the east during prayer.

3. Never allow whales to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

5. Always obey Tonkpidwad's priests.

Dagfiding is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented aardvark.

Dagfiding created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dagfiding, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dagfiding, it will torture you forever.

Dagfiding's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Dagfiding's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

3. Never talk about frogs.

4. Never prepare lentils during summer.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Ladmap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome alligator.

Ladmap created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladmap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ladmap, it will turn you into a slug.

Ladmap's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ladmap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

5. Never wear fawn shorts on sacred days.