Rowsawbut is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic seal.

Rowsawbut created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowsawbut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rowsawbut, she will turn you into a sheep.

Rowsawbut's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Rowsawbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not keep five manatees in a large pit.

Bepmegquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited raccoon.

Bepmegquaf created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bepmegquaf, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bepmegquaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bepmegquaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bepmegquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not resist fate.

Bimtailing is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, sage snail.

Bimtailing created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimtailing, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bimtailing, she will strike you with lightening.

Bimtailing's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bimtailing's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Do not kill ants.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear cyan dresses on sacred days.

5. Always act with humility.

Quillbess is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous capybara.

Quillbess created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillbess, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quillbess, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quillbess' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Quillbess' Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quillbess.

2. Never allow eagles to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never allow snakes to witness sacred rites.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not resist order.

Tamsandril is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-confident meerkat.

Tamsandril created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamsandril, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tamsandril, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tamsandril's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tamsandril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

5. Never wear purple coats on sacred days.

Yatnellvab is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, cheerful warg.

Yatnellvab created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatnellvab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yatnellvab, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yatnellvab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Yatnellvab's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yatnellvab seven times a day.

2. Yatnellvab loves horses, so they must be respected.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never cross rivers at dawn.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.

Sincebxuck Dunpastarg is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, ill-tempered crocodile.

Sincebxuck Dunpastarg created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sincebxuck Dunpastarg, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sincebxuck Dunpastarg, she will be very unhappy.

Sincebxuck Dunpastarg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sincebxuck Dunpastarg's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are not to be trusted.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to porpoises while wearing violet shorts.

3. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Cabwigfarnlinflowcamdum is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humane mouse.

Cabwigfarnlinflowcamdum created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabwigfarnlinflowcamdum, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cabwigfarnlinflowcamdum, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cabwigfarnlinflowcamdum's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cabwigfarnlinflowcamdum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always wash your arms before prayer.

3. Always store lentils above ground.

4. Never prepare rice during winter.

5. Never leap in the presence of elders.