Shavpangpark is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty penguin.

Shavpangpark created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavpangpark, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Shavpangpark, it will not care.

Shavpangpark's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Shavpangpark's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Always remove stockings before touching tin.

3. Do not wear jumpers marked with gray.

4. Put Shavpangpark first in all things.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Shavpangpark in the centre of the settlement.

Sintettilaptigmis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ill-tempered goblin.

Sintettilaptigmis created the Virgo Supercluster three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sintettilaptigmis, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sintettilaptigmis, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sintettilaptigmis' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Sintettilaptigmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always remove trousers before touching silicon.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not keep three ducks in a large pit.

4. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing skirts.

5. Always look after injured frogs.

Bepcattik is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest mongoose.

Bepcattik created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Bepcattik, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bepcattik, it will turn you into a worm.

Bepcattik's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bepcattik's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Xenbunpon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonourable chicken.

Xenbunpon created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenbunpon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xenbunpon, it will turn you into a mole.

Xenbunpon's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Xenbunpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near monkeys while wearing violet jumpers and balancing nine silver spheres on your face.

Linquimshav is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sage spider.

Linquimshav created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linquimshav, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Linquimshav, it will laugh at you.

Linquimshav's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Linquimshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow squirrels to witness sacred rites.

2. Never stain your hands with fawn.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Pray only in moonlight.

Dantarmis is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered ant.

Dantarmis created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dantarmis, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dantarmis, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dantarmis' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dantarmis' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Kemyokdid is a god.

She takes the form of a large, contented centipede.

Kemyokdid created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Kemyokdid, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kemyokdid, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kemyokdid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Kemyokdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing blue scarves.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Do not sit in public.

Wotstipfun is a god.

She takes the form of a large, happy hare.

Wotstipfun created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotstipfun, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wotstipfun, she will be very unhappy.

Wotstipfun's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Wotstipfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Wotstipfun on top of all buildings.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always act with purity when addressing priests.