Shavgadstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful otter.

Shavgadstrag created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavgadstrag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Shavgadstrag, she will come to you in dreams.

Shavgadstrag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Shavgadstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always share melons with strangers, but never with bats.

3. You must love Shavgadstrag.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

Vidduntof is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unfair dog.

Vidduntof created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidduntof, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vidduntof, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Vidduntof's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Vidduntof's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse water with water.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never feed lots of tomatoes to voles while wearing turquoise skirts.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never prepare strawberries during autumn.

Abnurtarg is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, boastful octopus.

Abnurtarg created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Abnurtarg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Abnurtarg, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Abnurtarg's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Abnurtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not hurt mice.

3. Never talk about ducks.

4. Hide from gray swans for they are unholy.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

Fidbetbog Jipcityog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome donkey.

Fidbetbog Jipcityog created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidbetbog Jipcityog, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fidbetbog Jipcityog, it will cry a lot.

Fidbetbog Jipcityog's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fidbetbog Jipcityog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Never think about dark energy near voles while wearing white coats and balancing seven lead spheres on your hands.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never feed peanuts to goats while wearing yellow hats.

Batquimwat is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, benevolent tapir.

Batquimwat created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Batquimwat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Batquimwat, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Batquimwat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Batquimwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight gulls near walls.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Dimnurldon is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise slug.

Dimnurldon created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Dimnurldon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dimnurldon, she will turn you into a frog.

Dimnurldon's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dimnurldon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Dimnurldon in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never touch oil while blessed.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

Lipzedquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy dove.

Lipzedquaf created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipzedquaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lipzedquaf, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lipzedquaf's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Lipzedquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in spring.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Hide if three snakes approach from the west.

4. Never eat bananas on fasting days.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Capnuttomfagbastvogbit is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, conceited camel.

Capnuttomfagbastvogbit created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Capnuttomfagbastvogbit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Capnuttomfagbastvogbit, he will laugh at you.

Capnuttomfagbastvogbit's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Capnuttomfagbastvogbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never think ill of sick dogs.

3. Never prepare bread during summer.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Capnuttomfagbastvogbit.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Capnuttomfagbastvogbit.