Fudjanquart is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, ruthless centipede.

Fudjanquart created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fudjanquart, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fudjanquart, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fudjanquart's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Fudjanquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never sit near rats.

3. Hide if four horses approach from the west.

4. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

Cudcim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, able lobster.

Cudcim created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudcim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cudcim, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Cudcim's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cudcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at dawn.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Cudcim must be the most important thing in your life.

4. You must never eat carrots.

5. Never adorn your neck with turquoise markings.

Flatnarlflig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking scorpion.

Flatnarlflig created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatnarlflig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flatnarlflig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flatnarlflig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Flatnarlflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt voles.

2. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

3. Do not wear corsets marked with fawn.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never eat melons.

Ripfotmut is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, witty gnu.

Ripfotmut created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripfotmut, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ripfotmut, she will be very unhappy.

Ripfotmut's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ripfotmut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five turtles approach from the south.

2. Always obey Ripfotmut's priests.

3. Never wear orange scarves on sacred days.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Do not resist fate.

Padhigtetti is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented guinea pig.

Padhigtetti created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padhigtetti, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Padhigtetti, it will turn you into a snail.

Padhigtetti's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Padhigtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare carrots during autumn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

5. Always store bananas above ground.

Tigzimnib is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, deceitful clam.

Tigzimnib created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigzimnib, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tigzimnib, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tigzimnib's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tigzimnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat garlic.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never feed figs to capybaras while wearing purple shirts.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Tigzimnib in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not kill pigs.

Dissrilldot is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fussy rat.

Dissrilldot created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissrilldot, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dissrilldot, he will turn you into a worm.

Dissrilldot's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Dissrilldot's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Put Dissrilldot first in all things.

4. Hide from cyan porpoises for they are unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Gighenbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, stupid bird.

Gighenbarn created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Gighenbarn, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gighenbarn, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gighenbarn's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gighenbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Never proclaim while facing south.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Always take life seriously.