Parkdadgan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciless wolf.

Parkdadgan created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkdadgan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Parkdadgan, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Parkdadgan's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Parkdadgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Never wear white stockings on sacred days.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near gulls while wearing red shoes and balancing six gold spheres on your legs.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Vadkipfasstan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unselfish jellyfish.

Vadkipfasstan created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Vadkipfasstan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vadkipfasstan, she will manifest in front of you.

Vadkipfasstan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Vadkipfasstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Never run in the presence of dogs.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Feed all hungry goats.

Yattapyimnak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever wasp.

Yattapyimnak created the Sun two years ago.

If you believe in Yattapyimnak, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yattapyimnak, he will send you a sign.

Yattapyimnak's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Yattapyimnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

2. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

3. Do not resist chaos.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near dolphins while wearing black dresses and balancing six silicon spheres on your neck.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yattapyimnak.

Rannutjen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring hydra.

Rannutjen created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rannutjen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rannutjen, she will not care at all.

Rannutjen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Rannutjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never gather three ants near bridges.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Do not wear coats marked with black.

Tungendadcetlunkipgovhot Sogditlab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-assured fly.

Tungendadcetlunkipgovhot Sogditlab created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tungendadcetlunkipgovhot Sogditlab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tungendadcetlunkipgovhot Sogditlab, he will turn you into a rock.

Tungendadcetlunkipgovhot Sogditlab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tungendadcetlunkipgovhot Sogditlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Always remove shoes before entering holy places.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about mites.

Bastcibtagfemhubfarnraw is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful frog.

Bastcibtagfemhubfarnraw created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastcibtagfemhubfarnraw, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bastcibtagfemhubfarnraw, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Bastcibtagfemhubfarnraw's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bastcibtagfemhubfarnraw's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Never feed tomatoes to horses while wearing coats.

Xuckgovgodjin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent coyote.

Xuckgovgodjin created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckgovgodjin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xuckgovgodjin, she will send you a sign.

Xuckgovgodjin's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Xuckgovgodjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to geese while wearing cyan hats.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never leap in summer.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Flanbadwot is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish mouse.

Flanbadwot created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanbadwot, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flanbadwot, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Flanbadwot's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Flanbadwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Flanbadwot loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Always store coconuts above ground.