Fossflapdussis is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, confident fairy.

Fossflapdussis created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossflapdussis, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fossflapdussis, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fossflapdussis' most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Fossflapdussis' Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never prepare lentils during autumn.

3. Always look after injured tortoises.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Never feed lots of bread to shrews while wearing mauve skirts.

Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, blissful rat.

Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

3. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

4. You must love Omtstikfotsisfubwigwab.

5. Never think about nebulae.

Pitdubqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tiresome horse.

Pitdubqueeg created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Pitdubqueeg, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitdubqueeg, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pitdubqueeg's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Pitdubqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Pitdubqueeg in the centre of the settlement.

Matjopsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive fairy.

Matjopsaw created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matjopsaw, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Matjopsaw, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Matjopsaw's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Matjopsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about moths.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Never travel toward the east during winter.

Mifarpcenjab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unjust lobster.

Mifarpcenjab created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mifarpcenjab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mifarpcenjab, it will turn you into a rock.

Mifarpcenjab's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Mifarpcenjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

5. Do not shave your feet.

Lanstafyak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional zebra.

Lanstafyak created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanstafyak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lanstafyak, he will try to impress you with trees.

Lanstafyak's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lanstafyak's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not kill aardvarks.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

5. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

Moncipsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, caring gerbil.

Moncipsaw created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Moncipsaw, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Moncipsaw, he will curse you with boils.

Moncipsaw's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Moncipsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Moncipsaw must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Moncipsaw loves dogs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.

Kikjenfad is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic wyrm.

Kikjenfad created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikjenfad, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kikjenfad, she will destroy your home planet.

Kikjenfad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Kikjenfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never travel toward the west during winter.