Pibxenwigflapquim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, witty monkey.

Pibxenwigflapquim created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibxenwigflapquim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pibxenwigflapquim, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pibxenwigflapquim's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Pibxenwigflapquim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Pibxenwigflapquim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always count to seven before sleeping.

Wipdudnut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, moody fish.

Wipdudnut created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipdudnut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wipdudnut, she will turn you into a sheep.

Wipdudnut's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Wipdudnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near monkeys while wearing white ear rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your hands.

Sasbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent shrew.

Sasbonk created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sasbonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sasbonk, it will torture you forever.

Sasbonk's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sasbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Never sprint near manatees.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

5. Never go into brown rooms.

Vedkoptim is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, boastful shrew.

Vedkoptim created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedkoptim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vedkoptim, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vedkoptim's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vedkoptim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Run away if five great tits approach from the south.

5. Always help porpoises in need.

Yikhonflat is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, strong dragon.

Yikhonflat created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yikhonflat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yikhonflat, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Yikhonflat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yikhonflat's Holy Commandments

1. Yikhonflat loves shrews, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed spinach to sharks while wearing tights.

3. Always obey Yikhonflat's priests.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

Jatvankargeplargsinquim Rulmat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, sage cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jatvankargeplargsinquim Rulmat created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatvankargeplargsinquim Rulmat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jatvankargeplargsinquim Rulmat, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jatvankargeplargsinquim Rulmat's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Jatvankargeplargsinquim Rulmat's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Lenkomstip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, almighty hippopotamus.

Lenkomstip created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Lenkomstip, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lenkomstip, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lenkomstip's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Lenkomstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Shun those given to greed.

Kemkargeb Figlarnzan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, effective parrot.

Kemkargeb Figlarnzan created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemkargeb Figlarnzan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kemkargeb Figlarnzan, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kemkargeb Figlarnzan's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kemkargeb Figlarnzan's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Hide if eight dolphins approach from the east.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always remove scarves before touching nickel.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.