Badmutleg is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful salamander.

Badmutleg created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badmutleg, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Badmutleg, she will turn you into a mole.

Badmutleg's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Badmutleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Never eat apples on fasting days.

3. Never talk about gravity near tortoises while wearing magenta coats.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Never laugh in holy places.

Tintailyim is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful toad.

Tintailyim created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tintailyim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tintailyim, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tintailyim's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tintailyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Never adorn your arms with green markings.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Tintailyim loves snakes, so they must be respected.

Figvadbog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking salamander.

Figvadbog created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figvadbog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Figvadbog, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Figvadbog's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Figvadbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of snails.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Worship no other gods but Figvadbog.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Quimbesslad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humane grasshopper.

Quimbesslad created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimbesslad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quimbesslad, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Quimbesslad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Quimbesslad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

Damfuddum is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy yak.

Damfuddum created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Damfuddum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Damfuddum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Damfuddum's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Damfuddum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Damfuddum in the centre of the settlement.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Damfuddum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

4. Never skip in summer.

5. Do not resist fate.

Homlanwapmitwipkik is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witless hummingbird.

Homlanwapmitwipkik created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homlanwapmitwipkik, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Homlanwapmitwipkik, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Homlanwapmitwipkik's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Homlanwapmitwipkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Run away from brown snails, for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Homlanwapmitwipkik loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.

Hudxenbamarpfom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate dog.

Hudxenbamarpfom created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hudxenbamarpfom, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hudxenbamarpfom, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hudxenbamarpfom's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Hudxenbamarpfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill seals.

2. Always act with patience when addressing children.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always store spinach above ground.

5. You must love Hudxenbamarpfom.

Fetmapnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, resourceful crane.

Fetmapnurt created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetmapnurt, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fetmapnurt, it will come to you in dreams.

Fetmapnurt's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fetmapnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Fetmapnurt on top of important buildings.

2. Do not prepare nuts while filled with fear.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

5. Do not kill horses.