Bifyattkip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, moody mink.

Bifyattkip created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifyattkip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bifyattkip, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bifyattkip's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bifyattkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always store lemons above ground.

2. Do not fashion tools from lead.

3. Never wear turquoise stockings.

4. Never think about spacetime near voles while wearing yellow jumpers and balancing three platinum spheres on your feet.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Sanbudfasfod is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful alligator.

Sanbudfasfod created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanbudfasfod, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sanbudfasfod, it will torture you forever.

Sanbudfasfod's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sanbudfasfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Never eat beans on days of mourning.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Dudquatbun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty goblin.

Dudquatbun created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudquatbun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dudquatbun, he will not care.

Dudquatbun's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Dudquatbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never record signs.

3. Dudquatbun must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Dudquatbun loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dudquatbun.

Pinjanbarnfag is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, contented slug.

Pinjanbarnfag created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinjanbarnfag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pinjanbarnfag, he will laugh at you.

Pinjanbarnfag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Pinjanbarnfag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with cyan.

3. Always remove kilts before touching titanium.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing black boots.

Podtargnill Nurfadlan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable swan.

Podtargnill Nurfadlan created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Podtargnill Nurfadlan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Podtargnill Nurfadlan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Podtargnill Nurfadlan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Podtargnill Nurfadlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Never think about spacetime near tapirs while wearing red trousers and balancing nine lead spheres on your legs.

4. Swans are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about planets.

Jonxucktip is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witless gerbil.

Jonxucktip created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonxucktip, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jonxucktip, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jonxucktip's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Jonxucktip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Retreat if three badgers approach from the south.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never sing in winter.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Gemarpkim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, impressive aardvark.

Gemarpkim created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Gemarpkim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gemarpkim, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Gemarpkim's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gemarpkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

2. Never gather four squirrels in one place.

3. Never mention foxes.

4. Do not keep three seals in a large pit.

5. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

Cephubmatcitsanspagsafpin is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody seal.

Cephubmatcitsanspagsafpin created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cephubmatcitsanspagsafpin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cephubmatcitsanspagsafpin, he will turn you into a worm.

Cephubmatcitsanspagsafpin's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Cephubmatcitsanspagsafpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never point your hands toward the west during prayer.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

5. Never gather nine frogs in one place.