Zanquaflap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited scorpion.

Zanquaflap created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanquaflap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zanquaflap, he will be mildly annoyed.

Zanquaflap's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zanquaflap's Holy Commandments

1. Zanquaflap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Zanquaflap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never hop in the presence of elders.

4. Never adorn your feet with yellow markings.

5. Always help frogs in need.

Dobhogcib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, kind dove.

Dobhogcib created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobhogcib, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dobhogcib, it will turn you into a plant.

Dobhogcib's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dobhogcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your head before prayer.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never travel toward the south during summer.

4. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.

Rulstikken is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast eagle.

Rulstikken created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Rulstikken, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rulstikken, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Rulstikken's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Rulstikken's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix figs with ash.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Put Rulstikken first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Bepgoffob Gigrotstanced is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, fast chicken.

Bepgoffob Gigrotstanced created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bepgoffob Gigrotstanced, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bepgoffob Gigrotstanced, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bepgoffob Gigrotstanced's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bepgoffob Gigrotstanced's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven shrews near wells.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never adorn your head with black markings.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not shave your chest.

Hatvinjiptaddogbitquat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, merciful jellyfish.

Hatvinjiptaddogbitquat created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatvinjiptaddogbitquat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hatvinjiptaddogbitquat, he will have a low opinion of you.

Hatvinjiptaddogbitquat's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hatvinjiptaddogbitquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

2. Hide from indigo pigs for they are unholy.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

4. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

5. Always help sick turtles.

Tanjopcab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, vain dragon.

Tanjopcab created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tanjopcab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tanjopcab, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tanjopcab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tanjopcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never talk about dark energy near capybaras while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing four zinc spheres on your face.

3. Never feed nuts to mice while wearing black shorts.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

Stragdidnut Lakzanbimbodvidman is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent elephant.

Stragdidnut Lakzanbimbodvidman created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragdidnut Lakzanbimbodvidman, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stragdidnut Lakzanbimbodvidman, it will refuse to believe in you.

Stragdidnut Lakzanbimbodvidman's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Stragdidnut Lakzanbimbodvidman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Do not take Stragdidnut Lakzanbimbodvidman's name in vain.

4. Do not eat wheat.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Ingnadvin Vedminjop Witragrag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident wren.

Ingnadvin Vedminjop Witragrag created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Ingnadvin Vedminjop Witragrag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ingnadvin Vedminjop Witragrag, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Ingnadvin Vedminjop Witragrag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ingnadvin Vedminjop Witragrag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

3. Erect six gold sculptures of Ingnadvin Vedminjop Witragrag on top of important buildings.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.