Wangep is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, effective hydra.

Wangep created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wangep, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wangep, he will turn you into a puffin.

Wangep's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Wangep's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five mice in one place.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wangep.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.

Somsad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonest salamander.

Somsad created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somsad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Somsad, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Somsad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Somsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always store coconuts above ground.

2. Never remain standing at midnight.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

5. Pray only in moonlight.

Rutbifbedflapcubster is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, amazing dog.

Rutbifbedflapcubster created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rutbifbedflapcubster, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Rutbifbedflapcubster, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Rutbifbedflapcubster's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Rutbifbedflapcubster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume nuts at dawn.

2. Never wear turquoise rings on sacred days.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Sisdamkem Damnelsog is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, flying human.

Sisdamkem Damnelsog created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisdamkem Damnelsog, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sisdamkem Damnelsog, she will send you a sign.

Sisdamkem Damnelsog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sisdamkem Damnelsog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Always store peanuts above ground.

Stafrenlan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, blissful bee.

Stafrenlan created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafrenlan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stafrenlan, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Stafrenlan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Stafrenlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Always help sheep.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Run away if eight goats approach from the east.

5. Never talk about optics.

Zenpopvil is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, amazing walrus.

Zenpopvil created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenpopvil, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zenpopvil, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Zenpopvil's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Zenpopvil's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

3. Never eat rice on holy days.

4. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing yellow skirts and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

Dobtimged is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, sapient swallow.

Dobtimged created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobtimged, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dobtimged, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dobtimged's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dobtimged's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing east.

2. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Never look at planets.

Somwigbum Nigquimart is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, awesome gorilla.

Somwigbum Nigquimart created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somwigbum Nigquimart, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Somwigbum Nigquimart, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Somwigbum Nigquimart's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Somwigbum Nigquimart's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Somwigbum Nigquimart on top of important buildings.

2. Never remain standing at dawn.

3. Do not wear shirts marked with cyan.

4. Never stain your neck with violet.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.