Fitbagsig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awe-inspiring sheep.

Fitbagsig created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitbagsig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fitbagsig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fitbagsig's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Fitbagsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Never fashion tools from ash.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Hide if eight tortoises approach from the south.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near geese while wearing indigo boots and balancing three carbon spheres on your back.

Pagloophun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, prudent penguin.

Pagloophun created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagloophun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pagloophun, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Pagloophun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Pagloophun's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Never feed lentils to cats while wearing black dresses.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never touch oil while unclean.

Futfen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical pigeon.

Futfen created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futfen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Futfen, it will turn you into a puffin.

Futfen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Futfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Futfen in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

5. Never speak at dawn.

Gemwikruttkip is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, cheerful mouse.

Gemwikruttkip created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemwikruttkip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gemwikruttkip, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gemwikruttkip's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gemwikruttkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never run in the presence of elders.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Do not gather at walls at midday.

Farndobjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able fox.

Farndobjarn created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farndobjarn, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farndobjarn, she will try to impress you with trees.

Farndobjarn's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Farndobjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Never cross forests at dusk.

Tettimotgar is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, wise octopus.

Tettimotgar created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettimotgar, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tettimotgar, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tettimotgar's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tettimotgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Feed all hungry bats.

5. Always obey Tettimotgar's priests.

Sandkabnigbodrutlargzagjap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, uncaring dugong.

Sandkabnigbodrutlargzagjap created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandkabnigbodrutlargzagjap, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sandkabnigbodrutlargzagjap, she will come to you in dreams.

Sandkabnigbodrutlargzagjap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sandkabnigbodrutlargzagjap's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Always wash your back before prayer.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Never look in ponds.

Cabfatbonsandxucrillhin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, confident frog.

Cabfatbonsandxucrillhin created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Cabfatbonsandxucrillhin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cabfatbonsandxucrillhin, she will strike you with lightening.

Cabfatbonsandxucrillhin's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Cabfatbonsandxucrillhin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Never record signs.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not stand on grass.