Cubripcap is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, capable elephant.

Cubripcap created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubripcap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cubripcap, he will be very sad.

Cubripcap's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cubripcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never prepare corn during spring.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Always look after injured ducks.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

Mabgodcar is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful cow.

Mabgodcar created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabgodcar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mabgodcar, he will be very sad.

Mabgodcar's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Mabgodcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

3. Run away from white badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.

5. Do not leap in public.

Midhogmum is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, competent newt.

Midhogmum created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midhogmum, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Midhogmum, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Midhogmum's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Midhogmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow dogs to witness sacred rites.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Midhogmum.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.

Cidwabbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent dog.

Cidwabbaf created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cidwabbaf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cidwabbaf, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Cidwabbaf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cidwabbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Retreat if five foxes approach from the south.

5. Always help otters in need.

Weedunomin is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, sapient bear.

Weedunomin created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weedunomin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Weedunomin, she will jump up and down on your head.

Weedunomin's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Weedunomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never mix spinach with blood.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Weedunomin loves eagles, so they must be respected.

Kimdosscet Buntantal is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, loving toad.

Kimdosscet Buntantal created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimdosscet Buntantal, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimdosscet Buntantal, she will destroy your home planet.

Kimdosscet Buntantal's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Kimdosscet Buntantal's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never feed limes to turtles while wearing indigo kilts.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Never gather five dogs in one place.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Koncebweg is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, narcissistic troll.

Koncebweg created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Koncebweg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Koncebweg, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Koncebweg's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Koncebweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh at rivers.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Always cleanse ash with water.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near ants while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing seven iron spheres on your neck.

5. Never eat onions.

Botnilhak is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, sage frog.

Botnilhak created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botnilhak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Botnilhak, he will come to you in dreams.

Botnilhak's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Botnilhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not take Botnilhak's name in vain.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never speak aloud of names.