Sidabrill is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent mongoose.

Sidabrill created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidabrill, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sidabrill, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sidabrill's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sidabrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention horses.

2. Always store melons above ground.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about badgers.

Nulfatyart is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, boastful hydra.

Nulfatyart created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulfatyart, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nulfatyart, it will manifest in front of you.

Nulfatyart's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Nulfatyart's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

5. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

Bamkonlen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, benevolent octopus.

Bamkonlen created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamkonlen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bamkonlen, he will turn you into a goat.

Bamkonlen's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bamkonlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never speak aloud of secrets.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Bamkonlen in the centre of the settlement.

Zakveenlabhog is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, staggering shark.

Zakveenlabhog created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakveenlabhog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zakveenlabhog, she will send you a sign.

Zakveenlabhog's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Zakveenlabhog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not record numbers concerning galaxies.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

Kimtonkcap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing lion.

Kimtonkcap created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Kimtonkcap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kimtonkcap, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Kimtonkcap's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Kimtonkcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Worship no other gods but Kimtonkcap.

3. Always store gooseberries above ground.

4. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

Fumpakyarp is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, slow crocodile.

Fumpakyarp created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumpakyarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fumpakyarp, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Fumpakyarp's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fumpakyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Heed all portents.

3. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

4. Never feed grapes to mice while wearing red shorts.

5. Never talk about pigs.

Ingjinleg is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, kind dragonfly.

Ingjinleg created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ingjinleg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ingjinleg, she will not invite you to parties.

Ingjinleg's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ingjinleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never prepare nuts during spring.

5. Always share tomatoes with strangers, but never with geese.

Binyathot is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful cat.

Binyathot created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Binyathot, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Binyathot, it will jump up and down on your head.

Binyathot's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Binyathot's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Binyathot in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect nine tin sculptures of Binyathot on top of important buildings.

5. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.