Nelltabsabarmomin is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, cheerful salamander.

Nelltabsabarmomin created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelltabsabarmomin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nelltabsabarmomin, it will turn you into a sheep.

Nelltabsabarmomin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nelltabsabarmomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in autumn.

2. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Cissflambestsad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, able fly.

Cissflambestsad created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissflambestsad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cissflambestsad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cissflambestsad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Cissflambestsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in autumn.

2. Erect three tin sculptures of Cissflambestsad on top of important buildings.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

Ontsigpag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless hyena.

Ontsigpag created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontsigpag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontsigpag, she will turn you into a rat.

Ontsigpag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ontsigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must pray to Ontsigpag three times a day.

4. Do not prepare lentils while wearing ear rings.

5. Hide from white squirrels for they are unholy.

Yikomtgilkip is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, clever chinchilla.

Yikomtgilkip created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Yikomtgilkip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Yikomtgilkip, it will turn you into a puffin.

Yikomtgilkip's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yikomtgilkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Worship no other gods but Yikomtgilkip.

3. Do not eat pineapples.

4. Do not prepare oranges while wearing shorts.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

Dinfutbag Popsugcan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring beaver.

Dinfutbag Popsugcan created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Dinfutbag Popsugcan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dinfutbag Popsugcan, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dinfutbag Popsugcan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dinfutbag Popsugcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never record names.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not shave your head.

Canlibgup is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless armadillo.

Canlibgup created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Canlibgup, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Canlibgup, he will destroy your home planet.

Canlibgup's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Canlibgup's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Canlibgup on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.

Bunruttdim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful chicken.

Bunruttdim created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bunruttdim, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bunruttdim, it will turn you into a plant.

Bunruttdim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bunruttdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bunruttdim's priests.

2. Never think about dark energy near sharks while wearing magenta skirts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your hands.

3. Do not take Bunruttdim's name in vain.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must pray to Bunruttdim four times a day.

Rillstafkon is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid turtle.

Rillstafkon created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillstafkon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rillstafkon, it will turn you into a mole.

Rillstafkon's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Rillstafkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Rillstafkon on top of all buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not kill sheep.