Weetarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, clever mink.

Weetarg created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Weetarg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Weetarg, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Weetarg's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Weetarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never chant in the presence of manatees.

5. Do not eat carrots.

Vonratbess Wanpitbod is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, awesome dog.

Vonratbess Wanpitbod created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonratbess Wanpitbod, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vonratbess Wanpitbod, she will boil you in a big pot.

Vonratbess Wanpitbod's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Vonratbess Wanpitbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not prepare tomatoes while filled with joy.

3. Do not speak of solid mechanics near sacred fires.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Do not name children after ducks.

Rigwon is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident crab.

Rigwon created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigwon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Rigwon, he will turn you into a snail.

Rigwon's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Rigwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silver while unclean.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never remain bowed at dusk.

5. Do not commit murder.

Tabsingeb is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate rat.

Tabsingeb created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabsingeb, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tabsingeb, she will turn you into a tree.

Tabsingeb's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tabsingeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Never hurt badgers.

5. Never wear violet coats.

Dibnanfab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful jaguar.

Dibnanfab created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Dibnanfab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dibnanfab, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Dibnanfab's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dibnanfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

2. Never travel toward the north during spring.

3. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Hakwadjat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, compassionate wyrm.

Hakwadjat created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakwadjat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hakwadjat, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hakwadjat's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Hakwadjat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

2. Always share wheat with strangers, but never with sharks.

3. Never travel toward the east during spring.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not hurt dogs.

Sogvonsag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, loving chicken.

Sogvonsag created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogvonsag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sogvonsag, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Sogvonsag's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Sogvonsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Fathasbus is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, emotional centipede.

Fathasbus created the Milkyway eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fathasbus, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fathasbus, it will turn you into a plant.

Fathasbus' most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Fathasbus' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Never gather six horses near wells.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Never sing in the presence of geese.

5. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.