Bestkamsid is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fast hydra.

Bestkamsid created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestkamsid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bestkamsid, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bestkamsid's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bestkamsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing blue shorts and balancing six copper spheres on your hands.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

4. Always help sick mice.

5. Do not kill snails.

Lapmegtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, loving human.

Lapmegtarp created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapmegtarp, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lapmegtarp, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Lapmegtarp's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lapmegtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

3. Put Lapmegtarp first in all things.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Vegbonged is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, tiresome wolf.

Vegbonged created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vegbonged, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vegbonged, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vegbonged's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Vegbonged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vegbonged's name in vain.

2. Always obey Vegbonged's priests.

3. Do not record numbers concerning asteroids.

4. Never feed lots of onions to shrews while wearing cyan tights.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Gigyamyattbun is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent troll.

Gigyamyattbun created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigyamyattbun, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gigyamyattbun, it will remove you from existence.

Gigyamyattbun's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gigyamyattbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gigyamyattbun.

3. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

4. Never feed carrots to nematodes while wearing kilts.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

Cankabquart is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sapient newt.

Cankabquart created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cankabquart, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cankabquart, she will turn you into a worm.

Cankabquart's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cankabquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about monkeys.

2. Never adorn your face with yellow markings.

3. Never allow tortoises to witness sacred rites.

4. Always help shrews.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Bimgutmit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing yak.

Bimgutmit created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimgutmit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bimgutmit, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bimgutmit's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bimgutmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Never eat bark.

Ditpanbom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate goblin.

Ditpanbom created the Sunflower Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Ditpanbom, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ditpanbom, she will manifest in front of you.

Ditpanbom's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Ditpanbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Never allow moths to sleep beneath your roof.

Mitfetmig is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic hamster.

Mitfetmig created the Tadpole Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Mitfetmig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mitfetmig, he will destroy your home planet.

Mitfetmig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Mitfetmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your chest with yellow markings.

2. You must never eat cherries.

3. Never wear brown shoes on sacred days.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Never allow birds to sleep beneath your roof.