Cathivlamsawtuncisstikpop is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, self-confident armadillo.

Cathivlamsawtuncisstikpop created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cathivlamsawtuncisstikpop, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cathivlamsawtuncisstikpop, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cathivlamsawtuncisstikpop's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Cathivlamsawtuncisstikpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

2. Always obey Cathivlamsawtuncisstikpop's priests.

3. Never mix parsnips with ash.

4. Do not wear hats marked with cyan.

5. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

Donnigcub is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless toad.

Donnigcub created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donnigcub, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Donnigcub, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Donnigcub's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Donnigcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near sharks while wearing violet corsets and balancing four silicon spheres on your back.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not hurt porpoises.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Never sing in the presence of elders.

Pangjipbell is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, omnipotent pigeon.

Pangjipbell created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangjipbell, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pangjipbell, it will ignore you.

Pangjipbell's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Pangjipbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about garlic.

2. Worship no other gods but Pangjipbell.

3. Do not hurt seals.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Hudbegdob is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, clever jackal.

Hudbegdob created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudbegdob, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hudbegdob, it will come to you in dreams.

Hudbegdob's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Hudbegdob's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during holy days.

2. Hudbegdob loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never mix peanuts with blood.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Benbetfat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic pig.

Benbetfat created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Benbetfat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Benbetfat, she will destroy your home planet.

Benbetfat's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Benbetfat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta frogs, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Benbetfat.

5. You must never eat rice.

Soghiv is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, slow crow.

Soghiv created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Soghiv, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Soghiv, it will remove you from existence.

Soghiv's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Soghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near tortoises while wearing cyan kilts.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Always help swans in need.

4. Do not record signs concerning dwarf planets.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

Mutdobrig is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witless beaver.

Mutdobrig created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutdobrig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Mutdobrig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Mutdobrig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Mutdobrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention aardvarks.

2. Mutdobrig loves snakes, so they must be respected.

3. Do not name children after squirrels.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Dothap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient ferret.

Dothap created the Virgo Supercluster six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dothap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dothap, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dothap's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dothap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.