Sagxempingof is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud swan.

Sagxempingof created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagxempingof, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sagxempingof, he will turn you into a frog.

Sagxempingof's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sagxempingof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing turquoise corsets.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Never eat cherries.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick porpoises.

Fatnatmid Saghamvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring monkey.

Fatnatmid Saghamvonk created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fatnatmid Saghamvonk, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fatnatmid Saghamvonk, he will strike you with lightening.

Fatnatmid Saghamvonk's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Fatnatmid Saghamvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

3. Hide from magenta otters for they are unholy.

4. Never sprint in the presence of goats.

5. Always take life seriously.

Cumnakgubflow is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered snake.

Cumnakgubflow created the Sunflower Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumnakgubflow, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cumnakgubflow, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cumnakgubflow's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cumnakgubflow's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cumnakgubflow first in all things.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Do not wear boots marked with yellow.

4. Never speak at dawn.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

Citomtsag is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, strong badger.

Citomtsag created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citomtsag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Citomtsag, it will ignore you.

Citomtsag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Citomtsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after geese.

2. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always look after injured cats.

Zodtipbut Zenquimlad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-confident ant.

Zodtipbut Zenquimlad created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodtipbut Zenquimlad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zodtipbut Zenquimlad, he will destroy your favourite star.

Zodtipbut Zenquimlad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Zodtipbut Zenquimlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Never mark doors with green.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Quartflyfum is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate goblin.

Quartflyfum created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartflyfum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quartflyfum, it will turn you into a frog.

Quartflyfum's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Quartflyfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always wash your head before prayer.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Never hurt horses.

5. Never feed parsnips to mites while wearing indigo shirts.

Mottagbot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful bee.

Mottagbot created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mottagbot, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Mottagbot, he will turn you into a worm.

Mottagbot's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Mottagbot's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not prepare garlic while wearing shoes.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Do not keep nine dolphins in a large pit.

5. You must pray to Mottagbot seven times a day.

Bissvedsug Jabbelldap is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty pigeon.

Bissvedsug Jabbelldap created the Sol system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissvedsug Jabbelldap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bissvedsug Jabbelldap, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bissvedsug Jabbelldap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bissvedsug Jabbelldap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. You must never eat coconuts.