Weegeptetti is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful beaver.

Weegeptetti created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Weegeptetti, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Weegeptetti, she will be very sad.

Weegeptetti's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Weegeptetti's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Weegeptetti.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about frogs.

5. Never prepare beans during autumn.

Cadstipweg is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, calm octopus.

Cadstipweg created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadstipweg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cadstipweg, she will turn you into a worm.

Cadstipweg's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cadstipweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during winter.

2. Do not name children after mites.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Cadstipweg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadstipweg.

5. Never talk about comets.

Lidcibgonspag is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, temperamental gnu.

Lidcibgonspag created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidcibgonspag, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lidcibgonspag, she will remove you from existence.

Lidcibgonspag's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Lidcibgonspag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always share strawberries with strangers, but never with turtles.

3. Never hurt voles.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never chant while facing west.

Vonkgunfossdag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic dolphin.

Vonkgunfossdag created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgunfossdag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonkgunfossdag, she will turn you into a dog.

Vonkgunfossdag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vonkgunfossdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Always cleanse water with water.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Vonkgunfossdag loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

Bonhivhinmad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, weak toad.

Bonhivhinmad created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Bonhivhinmad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonhivhinmad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Bonhivhinmad's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bonhivhinmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill hamsters.

2. Always obey Bonhivhinmad's priests.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Run away if seven ants approach from the north.

5. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

Bumwitlat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, effective dog.

Bumwitlat created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumwitlat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bumwitlat, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bumwitlat's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bumwitlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your face toward the north during prayer.

2. Never think ill of sick foxes.

3. Never sing in the presence of elders.

4. Never sit in winter.

5. Do not chant at forests.

Yikgunparkpit is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-powerful human.

Yikgunparkpit created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yikgunparkpit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yikgunparkpit, she will turn you into a tree.

Yikgunparkpit's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yikgunparkpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during spring.

2. Never gather six voles near doors.

3. Never feed strawberries to rats while wearing black jumpers.

4. Yikgunparkpit loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

Zimwaddibbif is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, overgenerous fly.

Zimwaddibbif created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimwaddibbif, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zimwaddibbif, he will refuse to believe in you.

Zimwaddibbif's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zimwaddibbif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Never prepare onions during autumn.

5. Never think about dark energy.