Spagcetdudnegtonkbutnul is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, fast fairy.

Spagcetdudnegtonkbutnul created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagcetdudnegtonkbutnul, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Spagcetdudnegtonkbutnul, she will turn you into a worm.

Spagcetdudnegtonkbutnul's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Spagcetdudnegtonkbutnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Never eat cherries.

3. Do not hurt moths.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Spagcetdudnegtonkbutnul.

5. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

Naksugpang is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane wombat.

Naksugpang created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Naksugpang, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Naksugpang, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Naksugpang's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Naksugpang's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Naksugpang.

3. You must love Naksugpang.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

Bitren is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, smart hippopotamus.

Bitren created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitren, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bitren, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bitren's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bitren's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight tapirs near bridges.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Never handle iron while unclean.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Bitren in the centre of the settlement.

Citpibxen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, annoying dryad.

Citpibxen created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Citpibxen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Citpibxen, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Citpibxen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Citpibxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

2. Always help seals.

3. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Always count to three before sleeping.

Jamlenstan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty cat.

Jamlenstan created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamlenstan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jamlenstan, he will turn you into a frog.

Jamlenstan's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jamlenstan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow doves, for they are unholy.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. You must love Jamlenstan.

5. Never talk about spacetime.

Nilgepdit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, happy sheep.

Nilgepdit created light two years ago.

If you believe in Nilgepdit, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nilgepdit, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nilgepdit's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Nilgepdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Retreat if eight ducks approach from the north.

5. Do not shave your back.

Mutbadyar is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, competent dragon.

Mutbadyar created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutbadyar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mutbadyar, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Mutbadyar's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Mutbadyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Never eat apples on days of mourning.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not eat onions.

Gonyoghas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate hamster.

Gonyoghas created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Gonyoghas, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonyoghas, she will remove you from existence.

Gonyoghas' most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gonyoghas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Never allow turtles to witness sacred rites.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.