Kimspagvonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, sapient hare.

Kimspagvonk created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kimspagvonk, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kimspagvonk, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kimspagvonk's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Kimspagvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Never talk about squirrels.

3. Always obey Kimspagvonk's priests.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Kimspagvonk in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never cross crossroads at midday.

Fobgilril is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish bat.

Fobgilril created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobgilril, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobgilril, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fobgilril's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Fobgilril's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured voles.

2. Never jump in the presence of pigs.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never bounce in holy places.

Campagcut is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic spider.

Campagcut created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Campagcut, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Campagcut, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Campagcut's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Campagcut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.

Cadnurl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional centipede.

Cadnurl created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadnurl, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cadnurl, it will manifest in front of you.

Cadnurl's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Cadnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cadnurl.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

5. Never eat bark.

Cipdissog is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited bee.

Cipdissog created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cipdissog, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cipdissog, she will turn you into a rat.

Cipdissog's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Cipdissog's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not prepare turnips while wearing shorts.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near birds while wearing yellow ear rings.

Bamtamhas is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain naga.

Bamtamhas created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamtamhas, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bamtamhas, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bamtamhas' most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bamtamhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not name children after snakes.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

Gamjatxucsablenstigvigleg Hunhablab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, merciless mole.

Gamjatxucsablenstigvigleg Hunhablab created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamjatxucsablenstigvigleg Hunhablab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gamjatxucsablenstigvigleg Hunhablab, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gamjatxucsablenstigvigleg Hunhablab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gamjatxucsablenstigvigleg Hunhablab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Never touch water while clean.

5. Never paint your legs fawn.

Kombegflig is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic wasp.

Kombegflig created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kombegflig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kombegflig, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kombegflig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Kombegflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat figs on holy days.

4. Kombegflig loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.