Yamhot is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, loving human.

Yamhot created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamhot, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yamhot, he will throw large rocks at you.

Yamhot's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Yamhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix lemons with water.

2. Never feed peas to swans while wearing red tights.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Never leap in autumn.

Donwapsab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, emotional mink.

Donwapsab created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donwapsab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Donwapsab, it will turn you into a mouse.

Donwapsab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Donwapsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at midday.

2. Donwapsab loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help sick mice.

4. Do not consume rice at dawn.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

Mobyarppak is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, stupid sheep.

Mobyarppak created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mobyarppak, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mobyarppak, she will turn you into a hamster.

Mobyarppak's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Mobyarppak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

Methombot is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing crab.

Methombot created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Methombot, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Methombot, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Methombot's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Methombot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never mix oranges with water.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Hadkarsom is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, almighty jellyfish.

Hadkarsom created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadkarsom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hadkarsom, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hadkarsom's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hadkarsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

Artflan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, clever walrus.

Artflan created the Virgo Supercluster nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artflan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Artflan, she will turn you into a puffin.

Artflan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Artflan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Artflan in the centre of the settlement.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Do not consume apples at dawn.

Wegjabvan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid bat.

Wegjabvan created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegjabvan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wegjabvan, he will turn you into a snail.

Wegjabvan's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Wegjabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wegjabvan.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never chant in the presence of elders.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Shun those given to sloth.

Tanbidsas is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart scorpion.

Tanbidsas created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanbidsas, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tanbidsas, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tanbidsas' most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tanbidsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Tanbidsas in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Remain bowed during prayer.