Natjigsak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful deer.

Natjigsak created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Natjigsak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Natjigsak, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Natjigsak's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Natjigsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Always look after injured bats.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not chant at crossroads.

5. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, generous horse.

Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six shrews in a large pit.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not wear dresses marked with mauve.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Kimjiggud is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, almighty pig.

Kimjiggud created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimjiggud, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kimjiggud, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Kimjiggud's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Kimjiggud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Hide if seven sheep approach from the north.

3. Never feed turnips to porpoises while wearing indigo shorts.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never look at nebulae.

Pitdamstig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, compassionate gerbil.

Pitdamstig created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitdamstig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitdamstig, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Pitdamstig's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Pitdamstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat.

2. Never mix beans with blood.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never wear violet ear rings.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

Teenvidstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, humane pigeon.

Teenvidstrag created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenvidstrag, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Teenvidstrag, it will ignore you.

Teenvidstrag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Teenvidstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not resist order.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.

Hinceblarpxuckbancen Futbelljab Fubbinpib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, wise beaver.

Hinceblarpxuckbancen Futbelljab Fubbinpib created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinceblarpxuckbancen Futbelljab Fubbinpib, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hinceblarpxuckbancen Futbelljab Fubbinpib, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hinceblarpxuckbancen Futbelljab Fubbinpib's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hinceblarpxuckbancen Futbelljab Fubbinpib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never proclaim while facing east.

3. Never eat lentils on fasting days.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

Fotcunbum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciful bear.

Fotcunbum created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Fotcunbum, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fotcunbum, he will turn you into a tree.

Fotcunbum's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Fotcunbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

2. Never gather six rats near wells.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

4. Do not prepare carrots while wearing scarves.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Yokvennut Nibvogbut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish tortoise.

Yokvennut Nibvogbut created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokvennut Nibvogbut, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yokvennut Nibvogbut, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Yokvennut Nibvogbut's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Yokvennut Nibvogbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at midnight.

2. Erect six lead sculptures of Yokvennut Nibvogbut on top of important buildings.

3. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Do not record numbers concerning stars.