Bumyattsab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying swallow.

Bumyattsab created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumyattsab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bumyattsab, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bumyattsab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bumyattsab's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Quartbessug is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful fish.

Quartbessug created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartbessug, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quartbessug, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quartbessug's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quartbessug's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quartbessug four times a day.

2. Never talk about optics.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not sprint at crossroads.

Pigpasquat Jadtipgud Parkxucgud is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, temperamental pigeon.

Pigpasquat Jadtipgud Parkxucgud created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigpasquat Jadtipgud Parkxucgud, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pigpasquat Jadtipgud Parkxucgud, he will try to impress you with trees.

Pigpasquat Jadtipgud Parkxucgud's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Pigpasquat Jadtipgud Parkxucgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never think about spacetime near swans while wearing black dresses and balancing three silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

Rowcemhak is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, confident rat.

Rowcemhak created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rowcemhak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Rowcemhak, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Rowcemhak's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Rowcemhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never handle silicon while unclean.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.

Bepyambig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, slow capybara.

Bepyambig created the Sunflower Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepyambig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bepyambig, it will cry a lot.

Bepyambig's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bepyambig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never jump near grasshopers.

Dadlagcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a small, loving toad.

Dadlagcuss created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadlagcuss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dadlagcuss, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dadlagcuss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dadlagcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of elders.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not take Dadlagcuss' name in vain.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Venlatkap Gumdob is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, selfish salamander.

Venlatkap Gumdob created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venlatkap Gumdob, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Venlatkap Gumdob, she will turn you into a tree.

Venlatkap Gumdob's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Venlatkap Gumdob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never cross forests at dusk.

3. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with voles.

4. Never speak aloud of signs.

5. Learn three new languages a year.

Negpassin is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, capable wombat.

Negpassin created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Negpassin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Negpassin, he will manifest in front of you.

Negpassin's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Negpassin's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Never mark doors with fawn.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never leap in holy places.