Bodnurtbag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, flying crocodile.

Bodnurtbag created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Bodnurtbag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bodnurtbag, she will be very sad.

Bodnurtbag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bodnurtbag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never approach rivers carrying wood.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bodnurtbag on top of all buildings.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bodnurtbag.

Gedmilcar Camcinwap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, annoying elephant.

Gedmilcar Camcinwap created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Gedmilcar Camcinwap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gedmilcar Camcinwap, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Gedmilcar Camcinwap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gedmilcar Camcinwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed tomatoes to whales while wearing green kilts.

3. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with fear.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

Geplapnaktipfutbafcussbab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid mouse.

Geplapnaktipfutbafcussbab created the Andromeda Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Geplapnaktipfutbafcussbab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Geplapnaktipfutbafcussbab, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Geplapnaktipfutbafcussbab's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Geplapnaktipfutbafcussbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the east.

Riggesslan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying chicken.

Riggesslan created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Riggesslan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Riggesslan, it will turn you into a mole.

Riggesslan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Riggesslan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Never paint your chest violet.

3. Never gather four horses in one place.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.

Feddusslist is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, fast turtle.

Feddusslist created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Feddusslist, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Feddusslist, she will laugh at you.

Feddusslist's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Feddusslist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record signs concerning planets.

2. Always store nuts above ground.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near seals while wearing cyan jumpers.

Tapdusslag is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, overgenerous walrus.

Tapdusslag created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tapdusslag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tapdusslag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tapdusslag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tapdusslag's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Always wear black.

5. Never talk about fire.

Quatzodtap is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, sapient seal.

Quatzodtap created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatzodtap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quatzodtap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Quatzodtap's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Quatzodtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at dusk.

2. Hide if six squirrels approach from the south.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

5. Always act with purity.

Sinfigxinbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic goat.

Sinfigxinbarn created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Sinfigxinbarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sinfigxinbarn, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sinfigxinbarn's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sinfigxinbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare beans while filled with pride.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

5. Sinfigxinbarn must be the most important thing in your life.