Padliblab Bastgepmum is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, flying slug.

Padliblab Bastgepmum created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padliblab Bastgepmum, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Padliblab Bastgepmum, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Padliblab Bastgepmum's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Padliblab Bastgepmum's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about dark matter near ducks while wearing mauve dresses and balancing four gold spheres on your hands.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Never allow goats to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Pancamyok is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ill-tempered butterfly.

Pancamyok created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pancamyok, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pancamyok, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Pancamyok's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pancamyok's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Run away if three tapirs approach from the east.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.

Xucfotyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional otter.

Xucfotyatt created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucfotyatt, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Xucfotyatt, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Xucfotyatt's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Xucfotyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Tigzanwot is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, pitiless chinchilla.

Tigzanwot created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigzanwot, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tigzanwot, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tigzanwot's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tigzanwot's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Do not jump at forests.

5. Do not travel during summer.

Zoghabzan is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, vain lion.

Zoghabzan created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zoghabzan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zoghabzan, it will think nothing of it.

Zoghabzan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Zoghabzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not prepare corn while wearing jumpers.

Gemsakcutnib is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, egotistical snail.

Gemsakcutnib created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Gemsakcutnib, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gemsakcutnib, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Gemsakcutnib's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gemsakcutnib's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise squirrels, for they are unholy.

2. Never adorn your face with gray markings.

3. Always help sick great tits.

4. Never handle silver while unclean.

5. Always share bread with strangers, but never with gulls.

Flapbasscim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, quiet rat.

Flapbasscim created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbasscim, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flapbasscim, he will torture you forever.

Flapbasscim's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Flapbasscim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Flapbasscim in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Always help eagles in need.

4. Never adorn your hands with violet markings.

5. Do not resist fate.

Bogquambab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous meerkat.

Bogquambab created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogquambab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bogquambab, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bogquambab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bogquambab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never mix oranges with ash.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Put Bogquambab first in all things.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.