Dimjapbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, smart faun.

Dimjapbonk created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimjapbonk, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dimjapbonk, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dimjapbonk's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Dimjapbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cucumbers during winter.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.

Gighivdot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, weak chinchilla.

Gighivdot created light two years ago.

If you believe in Gighivdot, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gighivdot, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gighivdot's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Gighivdot's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Gighivdot on top of important buildings.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never skip in the presence of badgers.

5. Always take life seriously.

Larpcampang is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving lobster.

Larpcampang created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Larpcampang, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Larpcampang, he will jump up and down on your head.

Larpcampang's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Larpcampang's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

Timfossnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, emotional shrew.

Timfossnutt created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Timfossnutt, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Timfossnutt, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Timfossnutt's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Timfossnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not eat limes.

Habdamnull is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-powerful pigeon.

Habdamnull created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Habdamnull, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Habdamnull, he will turn you into a snail.

Habdamnull's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Habdamnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Lagbifjapgabnakyikbog is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane jackal.

Lagbifjapgabnakyikbog created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagbifjapgabnakyikbog, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagbifjapgabnakyikbog, he will not care at all.

Lagbifjapgabnakyikbog's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Lagbifjapgabnakyikbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying clay.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never write about black holes.

Panghudlargtadkoparf is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unfair mink.

Panghudlargtadkoparf created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panghudlargtadkoparf, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Panghudlargtadkoparf, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Panghudlargtadkoparf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Panghudlargtadkoparf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume pineapples at dawn.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Feed all hungry snakes.

5. Never gather nine frogs in one place.

Banbessrull is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing beaver.

Banbessrull created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Banbessrull, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Banbessrull, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Banbessrull's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Banbessrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near turtles while wearing blue hats and balancing five iron spheres on your hands.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

5. Always help bats.