Bitquimlab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, contented jackal.

Bitquimlab created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitquimlab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bitquimlab, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bitquimlab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bitquimlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midnight.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

3. Never chant while facing east.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

Fobbossdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, tranquil crab.

Fobbossdoss created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Fobbossdoss, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fobbossdoss, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fobbossdoss' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fobbossdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fobbossdoss' name in vain.

2. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always look after injured porpoises.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Gedpaknig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, cheerful mouse.

Gedpaknig created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedpaknig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gedpaknig, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gedpaknig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gedpaknig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix aubergines with oil.

2. Do not skip at forests.

3. You must love Gedpaknig.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Do not prepare lentils while filled with joy.

Tailjangat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, compassionate eagle.

Tailjangat created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailjangat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tailjangat, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tailjangat's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tailjangat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never wear fawn tights.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.

Gumtarpcud is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unfair gnu.

Gumtarpcud created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumtarpcud, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gumtarpcud, it will try to impress you with trees.

Gumtarpcud's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gumtarpcud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Do not place pineapples upon stone.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Flapkopbin is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-confident slug.

Flapkopbin created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapkopbin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flapkopbin, it will refuse to believe in you.

Flapkopbin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flapkopbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silver while unclean.

2. Never record signs.

3. Do not place wheat upon stone.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Always store limes above ground.

Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast hamster.

Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit, it will ignore you.

Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near tortoises while wearing purple boots.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always remove kilts before touching silicon.

4. Always store spinach above ground.

5. Never think ill of sick geese.

Vabganpod is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous alligator.

Vabganpod created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabganpod, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vabganpod, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vabganpod's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vabganpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

3. Vabganpod loves moths, so they must be respected.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Never write about dark matter.