Sisxincim is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, humane crow.

Sisxincim created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sisxincim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sisxincim, it will curse you with boils.

Sisxincim's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sisxincim's Holy Commandments

1. Always store carrots above ground.

2. Never eat peanuts on holy days.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sisxincim.

Febweelit is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered yak.

Febweelit created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Febweelit, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Febweelit, it will turn you into a dog.

Febweelit's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Febweelit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Do not wear shorts marked with magenta.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.

Laksabarm is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, merciful mongoose.

Laksabarm created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Laksabarm, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Laksabarm, she will try to impress you with trees.

Laksabarm's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Laksabarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Laksabarm in the centre of the settlement.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never handle lead while unclean.

5. Always remove ear rings before touching silicon.

Flamvadlab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, two-faced troll.

Flamvadlab created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamvadlab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flamvadlab, it will send minions to preach to you.

Flamvadlab's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Flamvadlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Never mark doors with turquoise.

3. Never feed lots of aubergines to moths while wearing red boots.

4. Never curse while facing east.

5. Respect your elders.

Ratbonknurl is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty frog.

Ratbonknurl created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratbonknurl, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ratbonknurl, it will send you a sign.

Ratbonknurl's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ratbonknurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shorts before touching platinum.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

Liphadfon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, confident grasshopper.

Liphadfon created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Liphadfon, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Liphadfon, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Liphadfon's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Liphadfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near birds while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing seven platinum spheres on your chest.

2. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

3. Do not consume lemons at dawn.

4. Do not fashion tools from gold.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Dudnelmonham is a god.

He takes the form of a small, astonishing squid.

Dudnelmonham created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudnelmonham, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dudnelmonham, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dudnelmonham's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Dudnelmonham's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Do not take Dudnelmonham's name in vain.

4. Never gather three great tits in one place.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Hugomt is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, dishonest guinea pig.

Hugomt created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Hugomt, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Hugomt, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hugomt's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Hugomt's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hugomt.

2. Never paint your legs purple.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

5. Never handle silicon while unclean.