Kardin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful goat.

Kardin created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Kardin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kardin, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kardin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kardin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Do not name children after badgers.

5. Never touch ash while clean.

Rakgilkonfodboddan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring bird.

Rakgilkonfodboddan created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakgilkonfodboddan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rakgilkonfodboddan, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rakgilkonfodboddan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Rakgilkonfodboddan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always help sick porpoises.

3. Rakgilkonfodboddan loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Rakgilkonfodboddan on top of all buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.

Yattrilfat is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent sheep.

Yattrilfat created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattrilfat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yattrilfat, he will make you grow a tail.

Yattrilfat's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Yattrilfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Yattrilfat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never skip in spring.

Bug is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish badger.

Bug created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bug, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bug, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bug's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bug's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near foxes while wearing orange corsets.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

Kiptadaf is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, astonishing gerbil.

Kiptadaf created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptadaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kiptadaf, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kiptadaf's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kiptadaf's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never paint your chest green.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Do not prepare garlic while filled with joy.

5. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

Miphomwot is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonest raven.

Miphomwot created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Miphomwot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Miphomwot, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Miphomwot's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Miphomwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after squirrels.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never feed strawberries to sheep while wearing purple boots.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Nilrowkap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, generous mongoose.

Nilrowkap created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilrowkap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nilrowkap, she will destroy your home solar system.

Nilrowkap's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Nilrowkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce at forests.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always obey Nilrowkap's priests.

4. Never curse while facing north.

5. Always act with patience.

Sitmettaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic dolphin.

Sitmettaf created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitmettaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sitmettaf, she will destroy your favourite star.

Sitmettaf's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sitmettaf's Holy Commandments

1. Sitmettaf loves voles, so they must be respected.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never chant while facing north.

4. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.