Kimxemdubgess is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, two-faced troll.

Kimxemdubgess created the Andromeda Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Kimxemdubgess, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kimxemdubgess, he will send minions to preach to you.

Kimxemdubgess' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Kimxemdubgess' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kimxemdubgess.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Do not leap at crossroads.

4. Never stain your legs with yellow.

5. Never think about comets.

Ragstragrigdud is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, weak crab.

Ragstragrigdud created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Ragstragrigdud, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ragstragrigdud, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Ragstragrigdud's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ragstragrigdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at dawn.

2. Never bounce in summer.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

5. Never speak at midnight.

Badflapdub is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving mongoose.

Badflapdub created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badflapdub, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Badflapdub, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Badflapdub's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Badflapdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near monkeys while wearing red hats and balancing six copper spheres on your feet.

2. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never chant in the presence of elders.

5. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

Hatlegvol is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witty gorilla.

Hatlegvol created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatlegvol, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hatlegvol, it will turn you into a worm.

Hatlegvol's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hatlegvol's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hatlegvol.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Never wear yellow boots on sacred days.

4. Never adorn your hands with brown markings.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

Getmeglop Fudditort is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic lobster.

Getmeglop Fudditort created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getmeglop Fudditort, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Getmeglop Fudditort, it will turn you into a mole.

Getmeglop Fudditort's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Getmeglop Fudditort's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse ash with water.

2. Never sing near eagles.

3. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

4. Always store bread above ground.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Getmeglop Fudditort in the centre of the settlement.

Midgebjen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, kind crane.

Midgebjen created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midgebjen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Midgebjen, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Midgebjen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Midgebjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always help sick grasshopers.

5. Do not take Midgebjen's name in vain.

Midnigdag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic cow.

Midnigdag created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Midnigdag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Midnigdag, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Midnigdag's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Midnigdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Never mention nematodes.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

Wodkopbell is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, calm crane.

Wodkopbell created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodkopbell, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wodkopbell, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Wodkopbell's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Wodkopbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Never feed lots of limes to seals while wearing cyan ear rings.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Wodkopbell in the centre of the settlement.