Loglogcam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, deceitful donkey.

Loglogcam created the Virgo Supercluster five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loglogcam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Loglogcam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Loglogcam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Loglogcam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never travel toward the east during winter.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

Larnhogjat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy jellyfish.

Larnhogjat created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhogjat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larnhogjat, she will remove you from existence.

Larnhogjat's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Larnhogjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Never eat bark.

Guphakyattzog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sapient wombat.

Guphakyattzog created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guphakyattzog, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Guphakyattzog, she will torture you forever.

Guphakyattzog's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Guphakyattzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always help sick gulls.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

5. Retreat if three turtles approach from the north.

Capjanhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody penguin.

Capjanhiv created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Capjanhiv, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Capjanhiv, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Capjanhiv's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Capjanhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Capjanhiv in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Never mention snakes.

5. Never chant while facing west.

Dumquillgar is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish pig.

Dumquillgar created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumquillgar, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dumquillgar, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dumquillgar's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dumquillgar's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dumquillgar first in all things.

2. Never feed grapes to mice while wearing dresses.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.

Dossort is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring eagle.

Dossort created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossort, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dossort, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dossort's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dossort's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near birds while wearing green coats and balancing eight silicon spheres on your legs.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Do not consume cherries at dawn.

5. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

Vanminsisarp is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fussy spider.

Vanminsisarp created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanminsisarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vanminsisarp, it will be very unhappy.

Vanminsisarp's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Vanminsisarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Never paint your face orange.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Davwegwat Nangonsag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, amazing cow.

Davwegwat Nangonsag created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Davwegwat Nangonsag, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Davwegwat Nangonsag, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Davwegwat Nangonsag's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Davwegwat Nangonsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing shirts.

5. Always help rats in need.