Gidbapkad Bummutyik is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving grasshopper.

Gidbapkad Bummutyik created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidbapkad Bummutyik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gidbapkad Bummutyik, she will turn you into a slug.

Gidbapkad Bummutyik's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gidbapkad Bummutyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Never allow capybaras to witness sacred rites.

4. Never gather four pigs in one place.

5. Never wear purple shirts on sacred days.

Zagmetnul is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, blissful dugong.

Zagmetnul created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagmetnul, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zagmetnul, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zagmetnul's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Zagmetnul's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Always help sick geese.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never prepare limes during winter.

Yargidjin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, impressive cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yargidjin created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yargidjin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yargidjin, she will make you grow a tail.

Yargidjin's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Yargidjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

Renvolgess is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able skunk.

Renvolgess created the Andromeda Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Renvolgess, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Renvolgess, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Renvolgess' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Renvolgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Always help ants.

3. Retreat if nine sheep approach from the south.

4. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

Paggarlab Vonrutmon is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable jaguar.

Paggarlab Vonrutmon created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Paggarlab Vonrutmon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Paggarlab Vonrutmon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Paggarlab Vonrutmon's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Paggarlab Vonrutmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.

Wanrowtarg is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, deceitful dugong.

Wanrowtarg created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanrowtarg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wanrowtarg, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Wanrowtarg's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wanrowtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Never feed bread to gulls while wearing tights.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.

Bamyiknad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited lobster.

Bamyiknad created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamyiknad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bamyiknad, he will send you a sign.

Bamyiknad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bamyiknad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not place bananas upon stone.

Xemgetnab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak tortoise.

Xemgetnab created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Xemgetnab, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xemgetnab, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Xemgetnab's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Xemgetnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after horses.

2. Always count to three before sleeping.

3. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never hurt bats.