Wipfenkem is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unthinking fox.

Wipfenkem created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wipfenkem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wipfenkem, it will boil you in a big pot.

Wipfenkem's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Wipfenkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Wipfenkem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not name children after birds.

Zakmonqueegmabpansaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, emotional chinchilla.

Zakmonqueegmabpansaf created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Zakmonqueegmabpansaf, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zakmonqueegmabpansaf, it will manifest in front of you.

Zakmonqueegmabpansaf's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Zakmonqueegmabpansaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four ants approach from the south.

2. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

5. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

Zakgutnadhad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciless jellyfish.

Zakgutnadhad created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Zakgutnadhad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakgutnadhad, she will curse you with boils.

Zakgutnadhad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Zakgutnadhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not eat melons.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Never sing in the presence of dolphins.

5. Never think about special relativity.

Quaghigfed is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered tortoise.

Quaghigfed created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quaghigfed, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quaghigfed, it will be very sad.

Quaghigfed's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Quaghigfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Never eat carrots on days of mourning.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Quaghigfed in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Never eat oranges.

Busbomfar Femloop is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring lobster.

Busbomfar Femloop created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Busbomfar Femloop, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Busbomfar Femloop, she will turn you into a hamster.

Busbomfar Femloop's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Busbomfar Femloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never write about special relativity.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

Hin is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, amazing wolf.

Hin created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hin, he will make you grow a tail.

Hin's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Hin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Do not record numbers concerning dwarf planets.

3. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

4. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

5. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

Mabmabved Henhivcumved is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident dryad.

Mabmabved Henhivcumved created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabmabved Henhivcumved, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mabmabved Henhivcumved, she will turn you into a slug.

Mabmabved Henhivcumved's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Mabmabved Henhivcumved's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Mabmabved Henhivcumved in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not prepare lentils while filled with joy.

Gudwadbusgombafriltam Vegweesom is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, deceitful weasel.

Gudwadbusgombafriltam Vegweesom created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Gudwadbusgombafriltam Vegweesom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gudwadbusgombafriltam Vegweesom, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gudwadbusgombafriltam Vegweesom's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Gudwadbusgombafriltam Vegweesom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention eagles.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Never point your feet toward the east during prayer.