Hugnullgan Ceblitflap Nullquam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, idiotic snail.

Hugnullgan Ceblitflap Nullquam created the Milkyway six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugnullgan Ceblitflap Nullquam, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hugnullgan Ceblitflap Nullquam, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hugnullgan Ceblitflap Nullquam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Hugnullgan Ceblitflap Nullquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare wheat while wearing ear rings.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hugnullgan Ceblitflap Nullquam.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing green rings and balancing nine silver spheres on your hands.

5. Never feed pineapples to eagles while wearing scarves.

Negpasfun is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless weasel.

Negpasfun created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negpasfun, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Negpasfun, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Negpasfun's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Negpasfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never feed beans to horses while wearing hats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Do not prepare lentils while filled with envy.

Himbinhab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless wasp.

Himbinhab created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Himbinhab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Himbinhab, he will try to impress you with trees.

Himbinhab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Himbinhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Never look at stars.

Dabsandven is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful slug.

Dabsandven created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabsandven, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dabsandven, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dabsandven's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dabsandven's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Feed all hungry turtles.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Never adorn your legs with green markings.

Narwodlab is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, intelligent snake.

Narwodlab created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narwodlab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Narwodlab, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Narwodlab's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Narwodlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always store bananas above ground.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never wear scarves.

Guplitxin is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent wyvern.

Guplitxin created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Guplitxin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Guplitxin, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Guplitxin's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Guplitxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing south.

2. Do not take Guplitxin's name in vain.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Worship no other gods but Guplitxin.

Xinnarlgabquag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent skunk.

Xinnarlgabquag created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Xinnarlgabquag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xinnarlgabquag, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Xinnarlgabquag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Xinnarlgabquag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Never feed cucumbers to tapirs while wearing brown coats.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Xinnarlgabquag on top of all buildings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Flowvillop is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, staggering rhinoceros.

Flowvillop created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowvillop, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flowvillop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Flowvillop's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Flowvillop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always wash your neck before prayer.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

4. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.