Bestladbom is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered goose.

Bestladbom created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestladbom, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bestladbom, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bestladbom's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Bestladbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during holy days.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Never talk about bacteria.

Hadsomdib is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, able skunk.

Hadsomdib created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadsomdib, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hadsomdib, she will turn you into a snail.

Hadsomdib's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hadsomdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green shoes on sacred days.

2. Never talk about dark energy near manatees while wearing red shirts and balancing eight silver spheres on your arms.

3. Always store wheat above ground.

4. Do not fashion tools from tin.

5. Do not speak about carrots.

Linyarlpas is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, blissful dragon.

Linyarlpas created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linyarlpas, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Linyarlpas, she will not care at all.

Linyarlpas' most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Linyarlpas' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always store corn above ground.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Vangilhad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing wombat.

Vangilhad created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vangilhad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vangilhad, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vangilhad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vangilhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face white.

2. Always store turnips above ground.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Always count to three before sleeping.

5. Never approach mountains carrying stone.

Quillvonknak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, quiet clam.

Quillvonknak created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillvonknak, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quillvonknak, he will think nothing of it.

Quillvonknak's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Quillvonknak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Do not prepare peanuts while filled with joy.

3. Never hurt eagles.

4. Do not name children after mites.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Nartkem is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, egotistical weasel.

Nartkem created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartkem, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nartkem, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nartkem's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Nartkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about archaea.

Fodgatyam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, caring cat.

Fodgatyam created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fodgatyam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fodgatyam, she will try to impress you with trees.

Fodgatyam's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fodgatyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Never wear fawn dresses.

3. Never remain kneeling at dawn.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not travel during autumn.

Bimbessdid is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witless scorpion.

Bimbessdid created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Bimbessdid, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bimbessdid, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bimbessdid's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bimbessdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

2. Bimbessdid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near rats while wearing yellow scarves and balancing six gold spheres on your legs.

5. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.