Legbonkcibtan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, bad-tempered hydra.

Legbonkcibtan created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Legbonkcibtan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Legbonkcibtan, she will ignore you.

Legbonkcibtan's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Legbonkcibtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Bodnurmil is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody chicken.

Bodnurmil created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bodnurmil, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bodnurmil, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Bodnurmil's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bodnurmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sheep while wearing orange shoes.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Bodnurmil in the centre of the settlement.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bodnurmil.

Tettixenbad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, selfish yak.

Tettixenbad created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettixenbad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tettixenbad, it will turn you into a tree.

Tettixenbad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tettixenbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never feed garlic to birds while wearing mauve skirts.

Komtikgov is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, dishonest goose.

Komtikgov created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komtikgov, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Komtikgov, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Komtikgov's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Komtikgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near shrews.

2. Run away if six horses approach from the east.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

Wadlarngep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish cat.

Wadlarngep created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Wadlarngep, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadlarngep, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Wadlarngep's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Wadlarngep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never leap in the presence of monkeys.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Wadlarngep in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Wadlarngep on top of all buildings.

Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered eagle.

Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad, it will turn you into a worm.

Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Never paint your feet red.

5. Never wear coats.

Negzogbud Yamxenveen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous snail.

Negzogbud Yamxenveen created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negzogbud Yamxenveen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Negzogbud Yamxenveen, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Negzogbud Yamxenveen's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Negzogbud Yamxenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Yartzagflap is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witless centipede.

Yartzagflap created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartzagflap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yartzagflap, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Yartzagflap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yartzagflap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Yartzagflap.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never jump near mice.