Motjarnsas is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, vain zebra.

Motjarnsas created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Motjarnsas, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Motjarnsas, it will not invite you to parties.

Motjarnsas' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Motjarnsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not record names concerning nebulae.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing cyan kilts.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Never look in ponds.

Metarplun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, amazing snake.

Metarplun created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metarplun, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Metarplun, it will turn you into a rat.

Metarplun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Metarplun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after badgers.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Always help rats.

Tikwatcip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing meerkat.

Tikwatcip created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikwatcip, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tikwatcip, she will turn you into a worm.

Tikwatcip's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tikwatcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Put Tikwatcip first in all things.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.

Vennillfombam Faslopster is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, intelligent newt.

Vennillfombam Faslopster created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vennillfombam Faslopster, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vennillfombam Faslopster, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vennillfombam Faslopster's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Vennillfombam Faslopster's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Dotsag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, merciful dog.

Dotsag created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotsag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dotsag, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dotsag's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Dotsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your arms with magenta.

2. Never paint your back mauve.

3. Always treat frogs with great respect.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

Batbogort is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, moody warg.

Batbogort created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batbogort, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Batbogort, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Batbogort's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Batbogort's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black trousers.

2. Do not kill great tits.

3. Do not wear shoes marked with blue.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Rutratvag is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, awe-inspiring crane.

Rutratvag created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutratvag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rutratvag, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rutratvag's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Rutratvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Do not wear ear rings marked with yellow.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to porpoises while wearing fawn shoes.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

Tofbopyarp Nellvincat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, proud wyrm.

Tofbopyarp Nellvincat created the Tadpole Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofbopyarp Nellvincat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tofbopyarp Nellvincat, she will turn you into a slug.

Tofbopyarp Nellvincat's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Tofbopyarp Nellvincat's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

2. Do not record numbers concerning nebulae.

3. Never leap near capybaras.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.