Dunrawgat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent cat.

Dunrawgat created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunrawgat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dunrawgat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Dunrawgat's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Dunrawgat's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Retreat if three moths approach from the west.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

Legdonjig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate goose.

Legdonjig created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legdonjig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Legdonjig, he will be very unhappy.

Legdonjig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Legdonjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix wheat with blood.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always remove boots before touching copper.

5. You must pray to Legdonjig three times a day.

Logspagvab is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, grumpy hare.

Logspagvab created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Logspagvab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Logspagvab, she will manifest in front of you.

Logspagvab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Logspagvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Put Logspagvab first in all things.

4. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

5. Do not resist chaos.

Mumpibtarg is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, omniscient dragonfly.

Mumpibtarg created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumpibtarg, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mumpibtarg, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Mumpibtarg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Mumpibtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with otters.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Dossrencitrow is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent finch.

Dossrencitrow created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossrencitrow, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dossrencitrow, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dossrencitrow's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dossrencitrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

3. Never chant while facing south.

4. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Fetdimab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent lobster.

Fetdimab created the Black Eye Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetdimab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fetdimab, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fetdimab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fetdimab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Never touch water while clean.

5. Do not travel during summer.

Kadgodsak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate eagle.

Kadgodsak created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kadgodsak, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kadgodsak, he will be very sad.

Kadgodsak's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Kadgodsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five ducks near doors.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Flathivzen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic jaguar.

Flathivzen created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flathivzen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flathivzen, she will not invite you to parties.

Flathivzen's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Flathivzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Never touch ash while unclean.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

5. Always maintain humility during holy days.