Wapkamruttloopsak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing goat.

Wapkamruttloopsak created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapkamruttloopsak, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wapkamruttloopsak, he will destroy your home solar system.

Wapkamruttloopsak's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Wapkamruttloopsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Wapkamruttloopsak loves voles, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed lots of carrots to great tits while wearing red scarves.

4. Never remain bowed at dawn.

5. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

Genpangnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous guinea pig.

Genpangnurt created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Genpangnurt, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Genpangnurt, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Genpangnurt's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Genpangnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Do not prepare spinach while filled with envy.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.

Godnegceb is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciless raccoon.

Godnegceb created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godnegceb, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Godnegceb, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Godnegceb's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Godnegceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sheep.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Gofzakjin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered alligator.

Gofzakjin created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofzakjin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofzakjin, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gofzakjin's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Gofzakjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near badgers while wearing purple hats and balancing three tin spheres on your legs.

Budbedmat is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid elephant.

Budbedmat created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Budbedmat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Budbedmat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Budbedmat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Budbedmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare grapes while filled with envy.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Never gather six manatees in one place.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.

Pagfaglam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty human.

Pagfaglam created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagfaglam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pagfaglam, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Pagfaglam's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Pagfaglam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never remain standing at midnight.

Sitortgofont is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing hummingbird.

Sitortgofont created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitortgofont, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sitortgofont, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sitortgofont's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sitortgofont's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at midday.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Do not name children after eagles.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Kipsanrul is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fast octopus.

Kipsanrul created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kipsanrul, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kipsanrul, she will refuse to believe in you.

Kipsanrul's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kipsanrul's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kipsanrul three times a day.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Never adorn your feet with gray markings.