Cibzenhim is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy coyote.

Cibzenhim created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibzenhim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cibzenhim, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cibzenhim's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cibzenhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. You must love Cibzenhim.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Learn three new languages a year.

Zagdogpig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful penguin.

Zagdogpig created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Zagdogpig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zagdogpig, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Zagdogpig's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Zagdogpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not prepare grapes while filled with pride.

3. Do not gather at doors at midday.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never wear kilts.

Nilvoglungup is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful unicorn.

Nilvoglungup created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Nilvoglungup, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nilvoglungup, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nilvoglungup's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nilvoglungup's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Retreat if six eagles approach from the west.

3. Do not leap at crossroads.

4. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

5. Never point your chest toward the east during prayer.

Bogflowrotpop is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unjust jackal.

Bogflowrotpop created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogflowrotpop, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bogflowrotpop, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bogflowrotpop's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bogflowrotpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

2. Never feed lots of apples to frogs while wearing gray kilts.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never think ill of sick goats.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Fetgebbap is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, all-powerful pig.

Fetgebbap created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetgebbap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fetgebbap, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fetgebbap's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fetgebbap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Run away from magenta mice, for they are unholy.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

Citbegmad is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, impressive lion.

Citbegmad created the Andromeda Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citbegmad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Citbegmad, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Citbegmad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Citbegmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never mark doors with green.

4. Never eat limes on days of mourning.

5. Never allow snails to witness sacred rites.

Sistailstip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unfair centipede.

Sistailstip created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sistailstip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sistailstip, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Sistailstip's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Sistailstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

2. Never jump in winter.

3. You must love Sistailstip.

4. Never feed lentils to manatees while wearing jumpers.

5. Never leap in holy places.

Pogtanbaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic crocodile.

Pogtanbaf created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogtanbaf, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pogtanbaf, she will ignore you.

Pogtanbaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Pogtanbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.