Bastjamzen Zigsityarp Zodbatfid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional porpoise.

Bastjamzen Zigsityarp Zodbatfid created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bastjamzen Zigsityarp Zodbatfid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastjamzen Zigsityarp Zodbatfid, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bastjamzen Zigsityarp Zodbatfid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bastjamzen Zigsityarp Zodbatfid's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry otters.

2. Always share figs with strangers, but never with rats.

3. Never allow snails to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Bastjamzen Zigsityarp Zodbatfid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Arpsterzen is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unsympathetic raccoon.

Arpsterzen created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Arpsterzen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arpsterzen, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Arpsterzen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Arpsterzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

2. Do not step barefoot upon white earth.

3. Never eat oranges on fasting days.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.

Hunhasbet is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, self-confident shrew.

Hunhasbet created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hunhasbet, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hunhasbet, it will ignore you.

Hunhasbet's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hunhasbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine nematodes near walls.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

3. Always help sick ducks.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Omtfudyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, selfish rat.

Omtfudyarp created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtfudyarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Omtfudyarp, he will not care.

Omtfudyarp's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Omtfudyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow seals to witness sacred rites.

2. Worship no other gods but Omtfudyarp.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

5. Do not take Omtfudyarp's name in vain.

Nilloopbell is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, conceited ant.

Nilloopbell created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilloopbell, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nilloopbell, she will turn you into a dog.

Nilloopbell's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nilloopbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

2. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Gabrotbem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome fox.

Gabrotbem created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabrotbem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gabrotbem, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gabrotbem's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gabrotbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gabrotbem.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.

5. Always count to three before sleeping.

Nulfonflig is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ruthless aardvark.

Nulfonflig created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulfonflig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nulfonflig, it will cry a lot.

Nulfonflig's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nulfonflig's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must pray to Nulfonflig five times a day.

4. Erect eight silver sculptures of Nulfonflig on top of important buildings.

5. Do not eat beans.

Dogcadstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, pitiless finch.

Dogcadstrag created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogcadstrag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dogcadstrag, it will laugh at you.

Dogcadstrag's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dogcadstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never adorn your face with green markings.

5. Worship no other gods but Dogcadstrag.