Gigtofgad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, weak elephant.

Gigtofgad created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigtofgad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gigtofgad, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gigtofgad's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gigtofgad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume melons at dawn.

2. Feed all hungry gulls.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Yattnarxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring pigeon.

Yattnarxuc created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattnarxuc, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yattnarxuc, she will laugh at you.

Yattnarxuc's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yattnarxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue kilts.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Never feed lentils to sheep while wearing trousers.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Yattnarxuc.

5. Do not name children after gulls.

Sitkarlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, compassionate centipede.

Sitkarlarn created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitkarlarn, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sitkarlarn, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sitkarlarn's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sitkarlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

Jigbinmegwap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy skunk.

Jigbinmegwap created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigbinmegwap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jigbinmegwap, he will not care.

Jigbinmegwap's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Jigbinmegwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Never talk about special relativity near goats while wearing purple stockings.

5. Never wear blue shoes.

Fedstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless wyrm.

Fedstrag created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fedstrag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fedstrag, she will be very sad.

Fedstrag's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fedstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

5. Heed all dreams.

Jarntamquill is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, merciful donkey.

Jarntamquill created the Tadpole Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarntamquill, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jarntamquill, she will torture you forever.

Jarntamquill's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Jarntamquill's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in moonlight.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

3. Do not consume oranges at dawn.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not resist chaos.

Pasabmid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish naga.

Pasabmid created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pasabmid, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pasabmid, he will turn you into a rat.

Pasabmid's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Pasabmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. Do not take Pasabmid's name in vain.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.

Bafbusdussmin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful eagle.

Bafbusdussmin created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Bafbusdussmin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bafbusdussmin, she will send minions to preach to you.

Bafbusdussmin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bafbusdussmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to squirrels while wearing blue stockings.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

3. Never mix bread with water.

4. You must love Bafbusdussmin.

5. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with pride.