Bonkfublag is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy aardvark.

Bonkfublag created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfublag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bonkfublag, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bonkfublag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bonkfublag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonkfublag.

Zensaghig Panjad is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, sapient gnu.

Zensaghig Panjad created the Whirlpool Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zensaghig Panjad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zensaghig Panjad, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zensaghig Panjad's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Zensaghig Panjad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Zensaghig Panjad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help frogs.

5. Always maintain humility during holy days.

Volzaktab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tranquil beaver.

Volzaktab created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volzaktab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Volzaktab, it will remove you from existence.

Volzaktab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Volzaktab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

Jenkikhit is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, charitable jaguar.

Jenkikhit created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenkikhit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jenkikhit, it will turn you into a frog.

Jenkikhit's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Jenkikhit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Jenkikhit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about aardvarks.

3. Never skip in the presence of whales.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jenkikhit.

Getfumzog is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, happy narwhal.

Getfumzog created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Getfumzog, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Getfumzog, he will try to impress you with trees.

Getfumzog's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Getfumzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.

Betmanlim is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking hamster.

Betmanlim created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Betmanlim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Betmanlim, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Betmanlim's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Betmanlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

Libsabtap is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, impressive dove.

Libsabtap created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Libsabtap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Libsabtap, he will torture you forever.

Libsabtap's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Libsabtap's Holy Commandments

1. Libsabtap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not record signs concerning asteroids.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never sing near rats.

Teencudbenpog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking camel.

Teencudbenpog created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teencudbenpog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Teencudbenpog, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Teencudbenpog's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Teencudbenpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of secrets.

2. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

3. Never wear violet rings.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never hop in autumn.