Negnulljip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient swan.

Negnulljip created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negnulljip, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Negnulljip, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Negnulljip's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Negnulljip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never prepare spinach during spring.

3. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Negnulljip.

5. Never look in ponds.

Fasgenlid is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, grumpy lizard.

Fasgenlid created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasgenlid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fasgenlid, she will send you a sign.

Fasgenlid's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Fasgenlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Fasgenlid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never jump near aardvarks.

Gidliktik Kimyattnell Satnigmigbatcidcublanfom is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, passionate wombat.

Gidliktik Kimyattnell Satnigmigbatcidcublanfom created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidliktik Kimyattnell Satnigmigbatcidcublanfom, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gidliktik Kimyattnell Satnigmigbatcidcublanfom, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gidliktik Kimyattnell Satnigmigbatcidcublanfom's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Gidliktik Kimyattnell Satnigmigbatcidcublanfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing north.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never prepare cucumbers during spring.

4. Run away if seven snakes approach from the east.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Gudflatveen is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, emotional bear.

Gudflatveen created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudflatveen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gudflatveen, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gudflatveen's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gudflatveen's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Never run in the presence of great tits.

3. Never remain kneeling at midday.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

Hammobben is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, uncaring hamster.

Hammobben created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hammobben, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hammobben, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hammobben's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hammobben's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to badgers while wearing ear rings.

2. Never allow goats to witness sacred rites.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Never talk about mites.

5. Never mark doors with fawn.

Gabtomjaplarn is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow toad.

Gabtomjaplarn created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabtomjaplarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gabtomjaplarn, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gabtomjaplarn's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Gabtomjaplarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not leap at rivers.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Danfitmat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, omniscient donkey.

Danfitmat created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Danfitmat, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Danfitmat, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Danfitmat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Danfitmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Put Danfitmat first in all things.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

Vogdaptarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, omniscient ant.

Vogdaptarp created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogdaptarp, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Vogdaptarp, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vogdaptarp's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vogdaptarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in summer.

2. Hide from fawn cats for they are unholy.

3. Never eat peas on fasting days.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.