Manzigcetsomquam is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tranquil seal.

Manzigcetsomquam created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Manzigcetsomquam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Manzigcetsomquam, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Manzigcetsomquam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Manzigcetsomquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always share grapes with strangers, but never with mites.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not prepare figs while wearing kilts.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never paint your hands yellow.

Targkopxin is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, effective raven.

Targkopxin created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targkopxin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Targkopxin, it will be very sad.

Targkopxin's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Targkopxin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Targkopxin.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Tettinilltaf is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthinking naga.

Tettinilltaf created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettinilltaf, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tettinilltaf, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tettinilltaf's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tettinilltaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Never bounce near horses.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.

Spagquatbegsom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing penguin.

Spagquatbegsom created the Milkyway eight million years ago.

If you believe in Spagquatbegsom, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Spagquatbegsom, he will not invite you to parties.

Spagquatbegsom's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Spagquatbegsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Spagquatbegsom.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

Wadgumtencenvednarwanbag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sapient dingo.

Wadgumtencenvednarwanbag created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadgumtencenvednarwanbag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wadgumtencenvednarwanbag, it will strike you with lightening.

Wadgumtencenvednarwanbag's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Wadgumtencenvednarwanbag's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Never feed parsnips to monkeys while wearing ear rings.

4. Never mark doors with gray.

5. Do not hurt ants.

Yogbanbest is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate camel.

Yogbanbest created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogbanbest, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yogbanbest, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yogbanbest's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yogbanbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Yogbanbest in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always share onions with strangers, but never with aardvarks.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near voles while wearing black stockings and balancing eight silver spheres on your feet.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Ganfittun is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-confident toad.

Ganfittun created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Ganfittun, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ganfittun, it will send you a sign.

Ganfittun's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ganfittun's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your back before prayer.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. You must pray to Ganfittun three times a day.

4. Never hurt whales.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Natrenmum is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast hamster.

Natrenmum created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Natrenmum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Natrenmum, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Natrenmum's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Natrenmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to tortoises while wearing tights.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Never allow cats to witness sacred rites.