Signeggem is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, impressive meerkat.

Signeggem created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Signeggem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Signeggem, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Signeggem's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Signeggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Do not consume peas at dawn.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Never stain your feet with indigo.

Fudditgep is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, loving hare.

Fudditgep created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudditgep, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fudditgep, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fudditgep's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fudditgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fudditgep.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Ominbambep is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful wombat.

Ominbambep created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominbambep, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ominbambep, it will be very sad.

Ominbambep's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Ominbambep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare figs while filled with anger.

2. Hide if seven birds approach from the east.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think ill of sick goats.

Gigvoglun Bestpinbus is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, able turtle.

Gigvoglun Bestpinbus created the Andromeda Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigvoglun Bestpinbus, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gigvoglun Bestpinbus, he will turn you into a worm.

Gigvoglun Bestpinbus' most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gigvoglun Bestpinbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not place spinach upon stone.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Gigvoglun Bestpinbus loves sheep, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear stockings marked with turquoise.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Candobzim Banweebag Limflamtip is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, flying walrus.

Candobzim Banweebag Limflamtip created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Candobzim Banweebag Limflamtip, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Candobzim Banweebag Limflamtip, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Candobzim Banweebag Limflamtip's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Candobzim Banweebag Limflamtip's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Candobzim Banweebag Limflamtip in the centre of the settlement.

Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonourable jellyfish.

Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Do not kill ducks.

3. Hitlinciss Fedcittaffly must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Feed all hungry mice.

Yammisven is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, awesome frog.

Yammisven created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yammisven, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yammisven, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yammisven's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yammisven's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

4. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

5. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with great tits.

Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful wyvern.

Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight rats near doors.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.

5. Mettarglatcemnurtflabqueeg loves cats, so they must be respected.