Quimkenbitjandapmil is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, stupid mink.

Quimkenbitjandapmil created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimkenbitjandapmil, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quimkenbitjandapmil, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quimkenbitjandapmil's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Quimkenbitjandapmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quimkenbitjandapmil's name in vain.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never prepare limes during summer.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Sogruttxen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent guinea pig.

Sogruttxen created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogruttxen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sogruttxen, he will destroy your home solar system.

Sogruttxen's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sogruttxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet stockings.

2. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

5. Never talk about galaxies.

Flabyatfoss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, effective wasp.

Flabyatfoss created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flabyatfoss, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flabyatfoss, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flabyatfoss' most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Flabyatfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never wear cyan corsets on sacred days.

4. Do not prepare beans while wearing jumpers.

5. Never feed aubergines to doves while wearing boots.

Rilwegbopsigged is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, competent lobster.

Rilwegbopsigged created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Rilwegbopsigged, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rilwegbopsigged, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Rilwegbopsigged's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Rilwegbopsigged's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Never mention sheep.

5. Never hurt foxes.

Bodnuttlib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless dryad.

Bodnuttlib created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodnuttlib, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bodnuttlib, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bodnuttlib's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bodnuttlib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

4. Never think ill of sick sharks.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

Badkabgon Panhugquam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong mongoose.

Badkabgon Panhugquam created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badkabgon Panhugquam, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Badkabgon Panhugquam, it will destroy your favourite star.

Badkabgon Panhugquam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Badkabgon Panhugquam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. You must never eat peanuts.

Stignelltarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, emotional chinchilla.

Stignelltarp created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stignelltarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stignelltarp, she will turn you into a slug.

Stignelltarp's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Stignelltarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Stignelltarp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Homcenved is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing crane.

Homcenved created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Homcenved, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Homcenved, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Homcenved's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Homcenved's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near moths.

2. Never talk about spacetime near ants while wearing orange coats and balancing three platinum spheres on your neck.

3. Never paint your arms brown.

4. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing corsets.

5. Do not name children after geese.