Yoksidhub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, prudent turtle.

Yoksidhub created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yoksidhub, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yoksidhub, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yoksidhub's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yoksidhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Yoksidhub loves pigs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not fashion tools from gold.

5. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Yoksidhub on top of important buildings.

Gednablibtankimxen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish seal.

Gednablibtankimxen created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gednablibtankimxen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gednablibtankimxen, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gednablibtankimxen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gednablibtankimxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

4. Run away if three bats approach from the north.

5. Always treat turtles with great respect.

Zodhatnul is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil gerbil.

Zodhatnul created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodhatnul, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zodhatnul, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Zodhatnul's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Zodhatnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Hide if nine turtles approach from the south.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not consume pineapples at dawn.

Tenquag Mipbifbut Hatflabtad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witty badger.

Tenquag Mipbifbut Hatflabtad created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tenquag Mipbifbut Hatflabtad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tenquag Mipbifbut Hatflabtad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tenquag Mipbifbut Hatflabtad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tenquag Mipbifbut Hatflabtad's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove trousers before touching gold.

2. Hide if five ants approach from the east.

3. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with joy.

4. Never prepare oranges during spring.

5. Always treat moths with great respect.

Sasrawgabartcamvadnadort is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, stupid centipede.

Sasrawgabartcamvadnadort created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasrawgabartcamvadnadort, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sasrawgabartcamvadnadort, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sasrawgabartcamvadnadort's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sasrawgabartcamvadnadort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill squirrels.

2. Run away if six dolphins approach from the south.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Do not consume turnips at dawn.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Yamtalsis is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yamtalsis created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamtalsis, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yamtalsis, it will come to you in dreams.

Yamtalsis' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yamtalsis' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yamtalsis.

2. Never think ill of sick badgers.

3. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

4. Never eat grapes on days of mourning.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Gofwabran is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive slug.

Gofwabran created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofwabran, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gofwabran, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gofwabran's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Gofwabran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after seals.

2. Never eat spinach.

3. Never mix nuts with ash.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to grasshopers while wearing green ear rings.

5. Do not prepare apples while wearing jumpers.

Arntaildun Fudstafnurtfobgensomcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, strong clam.

Arntaildun Fudstafnurtfobgensomcan created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Arntaildun Fudstafnurtfobgensomcan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Arntaildun Fudstafnurtfobgensomcan, she will not care at all.

Arntaildun Fudstafnurtfobgensomcan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Arntaildun Fudstafnurtfobgensomcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not keep eight porpoises in a large pit.

4. Do not record numbers concerning planets.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.