Bapcunveg is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-knowing mouse.

Bapcunveg created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapcunveg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bapcunveg, she will remove you from existence.

Bapcunveg's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bapcunveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shoes before touching gold.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never prepare cucumbers during spring.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Larpzimlak is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent wren.

Larpzimlak created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larpzimlak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Larpzimlak, it will strike you with lightening.

Larpzimlak's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Larpzimlak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve ducks for they are unholy.

2. Always wash your neck before prayer.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Do not place oranges upon stone.

5. Never talk about fire.

Midgudcad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered penguin.

Midgudcad created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midgudcad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Midgudcad, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Midgudcad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Midgudcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not consume beans at dawn.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near whales while wearing violet rings and balancing seven nickel spheres on your back.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Never gather nine sharks in one place.

Fethatbif is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-assured raven.

Fethatbif created the Black Eye Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fethatbif, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fethatbif, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Fethatbif's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fethatbif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

3. Do not prepare melons while filled with pride.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

Dambonkcap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, egotistical mongoose.

Dambonkcap created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dambonkcap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dambonkcap, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dambonkcap's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dambonkcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never mix oranges with water.

3. Never talk about dolphins.

4. Never laugh in the presence of geese.

5. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

Cindimdud is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fast fairy.

Cindimdud created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Cindimdud, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cindimdud, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cindimdud's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Cindimdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

2. Do not wear shorts marked with cyan.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Learn six new languages a year.

Cutyarlnur is a god.

She takes the form of a large, selfish salamander.

Cutyarlnur created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutyarlnur, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cutyarlnur, she will torture you forever.

Cutyarlnur's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cutyarlnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never stain your hands with mauve.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

4. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

5. Run away if six ducks approach from the south.

Bissitpas is a god.

It takes the form of a small, irritating wyrm.

Bissitpas created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Bissitpas, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bissitpas, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bissitpas' most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bissitpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your head with violet.

2. Do not take Bissitpas' name in vain.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Never gather six nematodes in one place.