Cibhaskem Gedfodrip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking hamster.

Cibhaskem Gedfodrip created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cibhaskem Gedfodrip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cibhaskem Gedfodrip, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cibhaskem Gedfodrip's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Cibhaskem Gedfodrip's Holy Commandments

1. Cibhaskem Gedfodrip loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Never mix beans with ash.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

Ligjenarfceplan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate lobster.

Ligjenarfceplan created bats seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ligjenarfceplan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ligjenarfceplan, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Ligjenarfceplan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Ligjenarfceplan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

4. Never adorn your face with purple markings.

5. Respect your elders.

Midbepfligfabhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous crane.

Midbepfligfabhiv created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midbepfligfabhiv, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Midbepfligfabhiv, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Midbepfligfabhiv's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Midbepfligfabhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in winter.

2. Do not kill shrews.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

4. Erect seven copper sculptures of Midbepfligfabhiv on top of important buildings.

5. Always help snakes.

Benbogbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, capable seal.

Benbogbaf created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Benbogbaf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Benbogbaf, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Benbogbaf's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Benbogbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Flis is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, omniscient crane.

Flis created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Flis, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flis, it will send you a sign.

Flis' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Flis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach on fasting days.

2. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Flis in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.

Fadkabyik is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous dingo.

Fadkabyik created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadkabyik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fadkabyik, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fadkabyik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fadkabyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow dolphins to witness sacred rites.

2. Never adorn your arms with mauve markings.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

Hunkikfun is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, loving shrew.

Hunkikfun created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunkikfun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hunkikfun, it will turn you into a goat.

Hunkikfun's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hunkikfun's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Hunkikfun on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Always share carrots with strangers, but never with aardvarks.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.

Dagfenrul is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, idiotic rat.

Dagfenrul created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagfenrul, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dagfenrul, it will turn you into a puffin.

Dagfenrul's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dagfenrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare nuts while wearing coats.

2. Never sprint in the presence of great tits.

3. Do not hurt manatees.

4. Always store strawberries above ground.

5. Never look at stars.