Sigpagbon is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, tiresome bird.

Sigpagbon created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigpagbon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sigpagbon, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Sigpagbon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Sigpagbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after snakes.

2. Never mark doors with cyan.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Do not resist balance.

5. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Sigpagbon in the centre of the settlement.

Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, egotistical capybara.

Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis' most sacred site is Camon in France.

Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. You must pray to Cardubbedmutkanzigmapflis seven times a day.

3. Do not name children after hamsters.

4. Do not keep nine rats in a large pit.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

Hasmegjap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, duplicitous human.

Hasmegjap created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Hasmegjap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hasmegjap, he will turn you into a hamster.

Hasmegjap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Hasmegjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never leap in the presence of tapirs.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hasmegjap loves turtles, so they must be respected.

5. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

Pankipquillkiphab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy snail.

Pankipquillkiphab created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pankipquillkiphab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pankipquillkiphab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Pankipquillkiphab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Pankipquillkiphab's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pankipquillkiphab nine times a day.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Bemtamlarg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest faun.

Bemtamlarg created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemtamlarg, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bemtamlarg, he will not care at all.

Bemtamlarg's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bemtamlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven eagles approach from the north.

2. Never paint your chest black.

3. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Hide from purple doves for they are unholy.

Canxenflow is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, awesome fly.

Canxenflow created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Canxenflow, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Canxenflow, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Canxenflow's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Canxenflow's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Canxenflow.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Always store peanuts above ground.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

Safvilhot Ruthadquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous bee.

Safvilhot Ruthadquaf created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safvilhot Ruthadquaf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Safvilhot Ruthadquaf, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Safvilhot Ruthadquaf's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Safvilhot Ruthadquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Never talk about optics near whales while wearing blue ear rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your face.

3. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midday.

5. Never talk about eagles.

Bentomcim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, calm crane.

Bentomcim created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bentomcim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bentomcim, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Bentomcim's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bentomcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near swans while wearing mauve stockings.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Never record signs.