Yartquillvan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, able dragonfly.

Yartquillvan created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Yartquillvan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yartquillvan, she will be very unhappy.

Yartquillvan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Yartquillvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not keep nine whales in a large pit.

Zansterboss is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, quiet bird.

Zansterboss created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zansterboss, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zansterboss, it will turn you into a tree.

Zansterboss' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Zansterboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Zansterboss' name in vain.

2. Never paint your legs pink.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, clever skunk.

Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag, she will be mildly annoyed.

Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

5. Always take life seriously.

Talfudbemquam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident warg.

Talfudbemquam created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Talfudbemquam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Talfudbemquam, he will curse you with boils.

Talfudbemquam's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Talfudbemquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Always remove skirts before touching lead.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Hivpibsog is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, sage crocodile.

Hivpibsog created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Hivpibsog, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hivpibsog, she will turn you into a dog.

Hivpibsog's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Hivpibsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near nematodes while wearing gray shoes and balancing nine gold spheres on your face.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Run away from black otters, for they are unholy.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Never fashion tools from bone.

Xucbutbot Gatrapyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy camel.

Xucbutbot Gatrapyarl created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xucbutbot Gatrapyarl, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xucbutbot Gatrapyarl, he will ignore you.

Xucbutbot Gatrapyarl's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Xucbutbot Gatrapyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Worship no other gods but Xucbutbot Gatrapyarl.

4. Never handle copper while unclean.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

Veengebcutcuss Garfit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, impressive squid.

Veengebcutcuss Garfit created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veengebcutcuss Garfit, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Veengebcutcuss Garfit, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Veengebcutcuss Garfit's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Veengebcutcuss Garfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Never prepare turnips during winter.

4. Do not prepare grapes while filled with anger.

5. Always obey Veengebcutcuss Garfit's priests.

Tentingep is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, resourceful crow.

Tentingep created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tentingep, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tentingep, it will turn you into a dog.

Tentingep's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Tentingep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

3. Always treat pigs with great respect.

4. Never hurt mice.

5. Always take life seriously.