Podxemrak is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome naga.

Podxemrak created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Podxemrak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Podxemrak, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Podxemrak's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Podxemrak's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never speak at dusk.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

Podquimfed is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic cow.

Podquimfed created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Podquimfed, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Podquimfed, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Podquimfed's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Podquimfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nematodes.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Never approach forests carrying bone.

4. Always help capybaras in need.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Zedbinnurlnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful coyote.

Zedbinnurlnurl created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Zedbinnurlnurl, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zedbinnurlnurl, she will strike you with lightening.

Zedbinnurlnurl's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Zedbinnurlnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare grapes while wearing trousers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

4. Never record signs.

5. Heed all dreams.

Teenkapkabmadvidkip is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, awesome rat.

Teenkapkabmadvidkip created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenkapkabmadvidkip, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Teenkapkabmadvidkip, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Teenkapkabmadvidkip's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Teenkapkabmadvidkip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teenkapkabmadvidkip.

2. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.

3. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

Gonmatdab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, capable dryad.

Gonmatdab created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gonmatdab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonmatdab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gonmatdab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gonmatdab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Hide if six great tits approach from the west.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Always help eagles in need.

Gigjan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unselfish swan.

Gigjan created the Sunflower Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigjan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gigjan, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gigjan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gigjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume wheat at dawn.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gigjan.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always count to eight before sleeping.

Bimhom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, wise gnu.

Bimhom created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Bimhom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bimhom, he will come to you in dreams.

Bimhom's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bimhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles.

2. Do not take Bimhom's name in vain.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat apples on fasting days.

5. Do not keep seven gulls in a large pit.

Cuncattab Sakzodsom is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical chicken.

Cuncattab Sakzodsom created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Cuncattab Sakzodsom, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cuncattab Sakzodsom, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cuncattab Sakzodsom's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cuncattab Sakzodsom's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always maintain patience during holy days.

3. Never hurt frogs.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not name children after ducks.