Quatvonsad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced narwhal.

Quatvonsad created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatvonsad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quatvonsad, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quatvonsad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Quatvonsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never cross rivers at dusk.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Quatvonsad's priests.

5. Never touch ash while clean.

Jophitfum is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, loving penguin.

Jophitfum created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jophitfum, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jophitfum, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jophitfum's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Jophitfum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not gather at wells at dawn.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Never hop in the presence of sharks.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jophitfum.

Japbunnatdon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, caring cobra.

Japbunnatdon created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbunnatdon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Japbunnatdon, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Japbunnatdon's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Japbunnatdon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Never jump near voles.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear ear rings.

Fomteenlun is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet cat.

Fomteenlun created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomteenlun, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fomteenlun, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Fomteenlun's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Fomteenlun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think ill of sick doves.

Vaddimsad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, amazing seal.

Vaddimsad created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Vaddimsad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vaddimsad, it will turn you into a rock.

Vaddimsad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vaddimsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow tortoises to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never prepare lemons during winter.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. You must pray to Vaddimsad eight times a day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Dagmitgom is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, temperamental whale.

Dagmitgom created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagmitgom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dagmitgom, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dagmitgom's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Dagmitgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dagmitgom.

3. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Dagmitgom in the centre of the settlement.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Never allow dogs to sleep beneath your roof.

Nibdubfag is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, able goat.

Nibdubfag created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibdubfag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nibdubfag, it will destroy your home solar system.

Nibdubfag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nibdubfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Never feed apples to foxes while wearing fawn rings.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat corn on fasting days.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.

Bedzoddag is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful dragonfly.

Bedzoddag created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedzoddag, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bedzoddag, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bedzoddag's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bedzoddag's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.