Cinqueegfed is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unfair bat.

Cinqueegfed created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinqueegfed, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cinqueegfed, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cinqueegfed's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cinqueegfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before touching silicon.

2. Always store tomatoes above ground.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Cumnuljad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, wise chicken.

Cumnuljad created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumnuljad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cumnuljad, it will turn you into a dog.

Cumnuljad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cumnuljad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near bats while wearing pink shorts and balancing three silver spheres on your back.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always maintain patience during holy days.

4. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

5. Do not place nuts upon stone.

Taddossxin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, generous scorpion.

Taddossxin created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taddossxin, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Taddossxin, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Taddossxin's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Taddossxin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not resist fate.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not bounce in public.

Flowipflisham is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, boastful alligator.

Flowipflisham created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowipflisham, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flowipflisham, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Flowipflisham's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Flowipflisham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, smart mink.

Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim, it will cry a lot.

Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

2. Never leap in winter.

3. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Parkbegwab Zakbutsak Flamwitquim.

5. Never mention seals.

Targhincit is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered gorilla.

Targhincit created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targhincit, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Targhincit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Targhincit's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Targhincit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Cembogarf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing fish.

Cembogarf created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cembogarf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cembogarf, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cembogarf's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Cembogarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not consume corn at dawn.

3. Always look after injured hamsters.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never talk about fire.

Catbomsand is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, grumpy dragon.

Catbomsand created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catbomsand, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Catbomsand, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Catbomsand's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Catbomsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Hide from mauve nematodes for they are unholy.