Figfadflis is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, conceited fox.

Figfadflis created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figfadflis, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Figfadflis, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Figfadflis' most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Figfadflis' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

3. Never allow mites to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

Gemflamlib is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain dolphin.

Gemflamlib created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemflamlib, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gemflamlib, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gemflamlib's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gemflamlib's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near swans while wearing cyan dresses and balancing five zinc spheres on your hands.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Run away if seven gulls approach from the north.

Kompitdut is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited turtle.

Kompitdut created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kompitdut, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kompitdut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kompitdut's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Kompitdut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured mice.

3. Hide from purple ducks for they are unholy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about moons.

Midbafyim Fignadtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, dishonest snake.

Midbafyim Fignadtarp created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midbafyim Fignadtarp, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Midbafyim Fignadtarp, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Midbafyim Fignadtarp's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Midbafyim Fignadtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Midbafyim Fignadtarp.

2. Always obey Midbafyim Fignadtarp's priests.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near whales while wearing mauve boots.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always remove shirts before touching iron.

Yokfubfum is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful snake.

Yokfubfum created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokfubfum, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yokfubfum, he will boil you in a big pot.

Yokfubfum's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Yokfubfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Yokfubfum loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must love Yokfubfum.

Betgillan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent zebra.

Betgillan created bats twelve years ago.

If you believe in Betgillan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Betgillan, he will be very sad.

Betgillan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Betgillan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Always count to four before sleeping.

Megsadyik Huggethun is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent chinchilla.

Megsadyik Huggethun created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Megsadyik Huggethun, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Megsadyik Huggethun, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Megsadyik Huggethun's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Megsadyik Huggethun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Megsadyik Huggethun's name in vain.

2. Do not prepare melons while filled with envy.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Himpasvab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered butterfly.

Himpasvab created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Himpasvab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Himpasvab, she will turn you into a puffin.

Himpasvab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Himpasvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.