Bagzenran is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless hummingbird.

Bagzenran created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagzenran, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bagzenran, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bagzenran's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bagzenran's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three birds approach from the north.

2. Never mix lentils with oil.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt nematodes.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Ripbamjin is a god.

She takes the form of a large, selfish centaur.

Ripbamjin created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ripbamjin, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ripbamjin, she will throw large rocks at you.

Ripbamjin's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Ripbamjin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Ripbamjin three times a day.

2. Never touch water while unclean.

3. Never pray while filled with joy.

4. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

5. Do not bounce at crossroads.

Larglistsab is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair tapir.

Larglistsab created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larglistsab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Larglistsab, it will have a low opinion of you.

Larglistsab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Larglistsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not name children after ducks.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Pray towards the south.

Gigbafbet is a god.

She takes the form of a small, emotional warg.

Gigbafbet created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigbafbet, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gigbafbet, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gigbafbet's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gigbafbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your arms before prayer.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not name children after eagles.

4. Never travel toward the west during summer.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Godwegmum is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid mouse.

Godwegmum created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Godwegmum, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Godwegmum, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Godwegmum's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Godwegmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

2. Do not wear boots marked with red.

3. Never allow tapirs to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

5. You must love Godwegmum.

Stafragflag is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, tranquil dingo.

Stafragflag created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafragflag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafragflag, she will come to you in dreams.

Stafragflag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Stafragflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow great tits to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never record names.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Stafragflag loves doves, so they must be respected.

Botyiktitlabsasteenkipnill is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awesome rat.

Botyiktitlabsasteenkipnill created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Botyiktitlabsasteenkipnill, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Botyiktitlabsasteenkipnill, he will turn you into a plant.

Botyiktitlabsasteenkipnill's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Botyiktitlabsasteenkipnill's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your feet before prayer.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Never wear gray rings on sacred days.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Botyiktitlabsasteenkipnill in the centre of the settlement.

Tagvidbat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy deer.

Tagvidbat created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagvidbat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tagvidbat, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tagvidbat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tagvidbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never feed garlic to swans while wearing tights.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not prepare figs while wearing coats.

5. Learn four new languages a year.