Jamhinrig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, charitable goose.

Jamhinrig created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamhinrig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jamhinrig, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Jamhinrig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Jamhinrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with pink.

2. Never handle silicon while unclean.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Do not listen to music.

Stansinwig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, stupid mongoose.

Stansinwig created the Whirlpool Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Stansinwig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stansinwig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Stansinwig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Stansinwig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six porpoises approach from the east.

2. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Always wear fawn.

Ganvillig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, irritating spider.

Ganvillig created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Ganvillig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ganvillig, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ganvillig's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ganvillig's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare beans during summer.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near tapirs while wearing black scarves and balancing four titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Never eat aubergines.

Begwodrag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awe-inspiring warg.

Begwodrag created the Black Eye Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begwodrag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Begwodrag, it will turn you into a goat.

Begwodrag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Begwodrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not record signs concerning comets.

3. Always look after injured nematodes.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near gulls while wearing black shirts and balancing three silicon spheres on your legs.

Mippopdumcut is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent jackal.

Mippopdumcut created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Mippopdumcut, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Mippopdumcut, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mippopdumcut's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Mippopdumcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow snakes to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Always wash your back before prayer.

4. Run away if three cats approach from the north.

5. Hide if five doves approach from the east.

Bellnarshav is a god.

She takes the form of a small, annoying hamster.

Bellnarshav created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellnarshav, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bellnarshav, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bellnarshav's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bellnarshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your feet toward the west during prayer.

2. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.

3. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Cindutrul is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful hamster.

Cindutrul created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cindutrul, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cindutrul, she will be mildly annoyed.

Cindutrul's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cindutrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to gulls while wearing pink stockings.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always help turtles.

5. Never speak aloud of secrets.

Nulljabyarthaplarp is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless snake.

Nulljabyarthaplarp created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulljabyarthaplarp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nulljabyarthaplarp, she will refuse to believe in you.

Nulljabyarthaplarp's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Nulljabyarthaplarp's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must pray to Nulljabyarthaplarp five times a day.

5. Do not hurt bats.