Kamrenzag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unjust toad.

Kamrenzag created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamrenzag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kamrenzag, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kamrenzag's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kamrenzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

2. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Worship no other gods but Kamrenzag.

5. Hide from magenta bats for they are unholy.

Likpitfabyog is a god.

It takes the form of a large, merciful centaur.

Likpitfabyog created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Likpitfabyog, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Likpitfabyog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Likpitfabyog's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Likpitfabyog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Never feed cherries to sheep while wearing ear rings.

Hatfabmad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, loving seal.

Hatfabmad created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Hatfabmad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hatfabmad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hatfabmad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hatfabmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Always look after injured swans.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

Ditwonlarnyak is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, happy lizard.

Ditwonlarnyak created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditwonlarnyak, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ditwonlarnyak, it will turn you into a plant.

Ditwonlarnyak's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Ditwonlarnyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Ditwonlarnyak in the centre of the settlement.

Cubsagwabfaddin Motvedren is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable human.

Cubsagwabfaddin Motvedren created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubsagwabfaddin Motvedren, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cubsagwabfaddin Motvedren, he will remove you from existence.

Cubsagwabfaddin Motvedren's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Cubsagwabfaddin Motvedren's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing west.

2. Do not place onions upon stone.

3. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

4. Erect a giant red sculpture of Cubsagwabfaddin Motvedren in the centre of the settlement.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

Dodvindot is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, benevolent frog.

Dodvindot created the Sol system four years ago.

If you believe in Dodvindot, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dodvindot, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dodvindot's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Dodvindot's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Feed all hungry cats.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about gravity near sheep while wearing green jumpers and balancing nine carbon spheres on your head.

Nargumcum Stigfutfedstragjip is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, boastful badger.

Nargumcum Stigfutfedstragjip created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nargumcum Stigfutfedstragjip, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nargumcum Stigfutfedstragjip, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nargumcum Stigfutfedstragjip's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Nargumcum Stigfutfedstragjip's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Cudmiptin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, impressive dolphin.

Cudmiptin created the Tadpole Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Cudmiptin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudmiptin, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cudmiptin's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cudmiptin's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.