Dobgatpantig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, grumpy slug.

Dobgatpantig created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobgatpantig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dobgatpantig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dobgatpantig's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dobgatpantig's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not commit murder.

Sigkimyik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-confident camel.

Sigkimyik created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigkimyik, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sigkimyik, he will be very sad.

Sigkimyik's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Sigkimyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never wear purple shorts.

Gidxemjen is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, generous bee.

Gidxemjen created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidxemjen, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gidxemjen, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gidxemjen's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Gidxemjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach forests carrying clay.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never handle nickel while unclean.

5. Never fashion tools from ash.

Quimranzak is a god.

She takes the form of a large, charitable wolf.

Quimranzak created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quimranzak, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quimranzak, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Quimranzak's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Quimranzak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Quimranzak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Worship no other gods but Quimranzak.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

Funzensug is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane ferret.

Funzensug created the Milkyway four years ago.

If you believe in Funzensug, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Funzensug, she will refuse to believe in you.

Funzensug's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Funzensug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

2. Always obey Funzensug's priests.

3. Never adorn your feet with violet markings.

4. Never feed lots of spinach to horses while wearing fawn kilts.

5. Do not place turnips upon stone.

Pakjipfid is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, happy butterfly.

Pakjipfid created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakjipfid, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pakjipfid, it will turn you into a sheep.

Pakjipfid's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Pakjipfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never gather seven frogs in one place.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

Miszagcin Figquagsag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awesome zebra.

Miszagcin Figquagsag created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Miszagcin Figquagsag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Miszagcin Figquagsag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Miszagcin Figquagsag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Miszagcin Figquagsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never run in the presence of porpoises.

4. Never adorn your head with white markings.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Somvadflap is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic yak.

Somvadflap created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Somvadflap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Somvadflap, it will send minions to preach to you.

Somvadflap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Somvadflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shorts marked with magenta.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

5. Do not place nuts upon stone.