Bomsabkar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, humane finch.

Bomsabkar created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Bomsabkar, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bomsabkar, it will destroy your home planet.

Bomsabkar's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bomsabkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Tenlatfig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane seal.

Tenlatfig created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenlatfig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tenlatfig, she will turn you into a mole.

Tenlatfig's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tenlatfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about special relativity near ants while wearing pink corsets.

5. Do not eat spinach.

Lunlatquat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, idiotic goose.

Lunlatquat created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Lunlatquat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lunlatquat, he will turn you into a slug.

Lunlatquat's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Lunlatquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing west.

2. Do not wear skirts marked with blue.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Retreat if four birds approach from the south.

Cinyattjop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, loving mouse.

Cinyattjop created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cinyattjop, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cinyattjop, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cinyattjop's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cinyattjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never proclaim while facing south.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Horses are not to be trusted.

5. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

Karbaflakvaggutsid is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, clever dingo.

Karbaflakvaggutsid created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Karbaflakvaggutsid, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Karbaflakvaggutsid, he will curse you with boils.

Karbaflakvaggutsid's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Karbaflakvaggutsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Hudjad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciful weasel.

Hudjad created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudjad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hudjad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hudjad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hudjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Do not prepare carrots while wearing coats.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

5. Never point your chest toward the east during prayer.

Tiktaildot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable crow.

Tiktaildot created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiktaildot, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tiktaildot, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tiktaildot's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tiktaildot's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tiktaildot.

2. Never gather seven sheep in one place.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

4. Always look after injured turtles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Nelpodvin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing hedgehog.

Nelpodvin created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelpodvin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nelpodvin, it will torture you forever.

Nelpodvin's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Nelpodvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Never think about optics near tapirs while wearing pink jumpers and balancing five silver spheres on your face.

3. Always help great tits.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.