Wodfottig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, annoying horse.

Wodfottig created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodfottig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wodfottig, it will ignore you.

Wodfottig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Wodfottig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Worship no other gods but Wodfottig.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing violet trousers.

4. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Mabvidlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, clever goose.

Mabvidlarp created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Mabvidlarp, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mabvidlarp, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Mabvidlarp's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Mabvidlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never feed limes to manatees while wearing jumpers.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dolphins while wearing black scarves.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Fumarmsomhindimgamflagstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered goose.

Fumarmsomhindimgamflagstaf created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumarmsomhindimgamflagstaf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fumarmsomhindimgamflagstaf, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fumarmsomhindimgamflagstaf's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fumarmsomhindimgamflagstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Hide if three sharks approach from the east.

3. Do not consume coconuts at dawn.

4. Never eat figs on fasting days.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.

Bogcepnurvin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable zebra.

Bogcepnurvin created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogcepnurvin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bogcepnurvin, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bogcepnurvin's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bogcepnurvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never remain bowed at dawn.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

Artmobbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless eagle.

Artmobbonk created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artmobbonk, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Artmobbonk, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Artmobbonk's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Artmobbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of voles.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing fawn coats and balancing three titanium spheres on your head.

4. Always count to six before sleeping.

5. Always share apples with strangers, but never with hamsters.

Fobkimgub is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, staggering goose.

Fobkimgub created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Fobkimgub, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fobkimgub, he will laugh at you.

Fobkimgub's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fobkimgub's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Fobkimgub in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always obey Fobkimgub's priests.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never feed onions to nematodes while wearing shorts.

Sidtarzogomin is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, proud finch.

Sidtarzogomin created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidtarzogomin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sidtarzogomin, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sidtarzogomin's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sidtarzogomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place grapes upon stone.

2. Always help bats.

3. Never wear blue tights.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

Watsom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, happy weasel.

Watsom created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watsom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Watsom, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Watsom's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Watsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Watsom.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.