Tonfunlag Quafnilcadsaf Bonstraggun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, caring wyvern.

Tonfunlag Quafnilcadsaf Bonstraggun created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonfunlag Quafnilcadsaf Bonstraggun, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tonfunlag Quafnilcadsaf Bonstraggun, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Tonfunlag Quafnilcadsaf Bonstraggun's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tonfunlag Quafnilcadsaf Bonstraggun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think about special relativity near dolphins while wearing pink dresses and balancing four aluminium spheres on your head.

3. Never wear brown rings on sacred days.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not resist balance.

Bastrapgom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, almighty tortoise.

Bastrapgom created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bastrapgom, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bastrapgom, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bastrapgom's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bastrapgom's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Always help manatees in need.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never look at planets.

Cepsitort is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-confident scorpion.

Cepsitort created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cepsitort, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cepsitort, it will make you grow a tail.

Cepsitort's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Cepsitort's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never skip in the presence of badgers.

4. Never handle titanium while unclean.

5. Never adorn your face with cyan markings.

Butcumpas is a god.

She takes the form of a large, amazing crane.

Butcumpas created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butcumpas, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Butcumpas, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Butcumpas' most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Butcumpas' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

4. Do not wear shoes marked with violet.

5. Learn six new languages a year.

Yattpodzagstan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, annoying jackal.

Yattpodzagstan created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattpodzagstan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yattpodzagstan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Yattpodzagstan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Yattpodzagstan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

2. Never record names.

3. Never prepare parsnips during autumn.

4. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.

Cubhasgep is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring hummingbird.

Cubhasgep created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubhasgep, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cubhasgep, it will destroy your home planet.

Cubhasgep's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cubhasgep's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cubhasgep first in all things.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Never prepare figs during autumn.

5. Never feed lemons to voles while wearing ear rings.

Fumspagbin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awesome bird.

Fumspagbin created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Fumspagbin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fumspagbin, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fumspagbin's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fumspagbin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fumspagbin.

2. Do not wear trousers marked with mauve.

3. Always cleanse ash with water.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Never cross rivers at midday.

Tonkflanfon is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, idiotic otter.

Tonkflanfon created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkflanfon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tonkflanfon, it will not care.

Tonkflanfon's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tonkflanfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Feed all hungry voles.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.