Lakbenpop is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, prudent sheep.

Lakbenpop created the Andromeda Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbenpop, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lakbenpop, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lakbenpop's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Lakbenpop's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red seals for they are unholy.

2. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Butmisget is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, self-assured badger.

Butmisget created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butmisget, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Butmisget, it will have a low opinion of you.

Butmisget's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Butmisget's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Shun those given to sloth.

3. Do not resist fate.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near turtles while wearing red skirts and balancing nine iron spheres on your hands.

5. Pray only in moonlight.

Fidkonwik is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, duplicitous capybara.

Fidkonwik created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Fidkonwik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fidkonwik, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fidkonwik's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Fidkonwik's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with mauve.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Erect four zinc sculptures of Fidkonwik on top of important buildings.

Kammitlapflamdossrullraggon is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, calm beaver.

Kammitlapflamdossrullraggon created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Kammitlapflamdossrullraggon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kammitlapflamdossrullraggon, she will cry a lot.

Kammitlapflamdossrullraggon's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Kammitlapflamdossrullraggon's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during spring.

2. Never chant in the presence of pigs.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not prepare onions while filled with envy.

5. Never talk about optics near grasshopers while wearing pink trousers and balancing three titanium spheres on your legs.

Tonfabnat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced guinea pig.

Tonfabnat created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonfabnat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonfabnat, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tonfabnat's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tonfabnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near squirrels while wearing cyan dresses and balancing four lead spheres on your chest.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never talk about snails.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Tonfabnat in the centre of the settlement.

Tigcanril Megzenkarfobbass Sawsomged is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, kind raven.

Tigcanril Megzenkarfobbass Sawsomged created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tigcanril Megzenkarfobbass Sawsomged, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tigcanril Megzenkarfobbass Sawsomged, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tigcanril Megzenkarfobbass Sawsomged's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tigcanril Megzenkarfobbass Sawsomged's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not place lemons upon stone.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Do not kill capybaras.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Lidcinlogwotbaftab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, uncaring mouse.

Lidcinlogwotbaftab created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidcinlogwotbaftab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lidcinlogwotbaftab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lidcinlogwotbaftab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Lidcinlogwotbaftab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix limes with ash.

2. Never run in the presence of elders.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat corn.

Tinbodbass is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, strong finch.

Tinbodbass created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinbodbass, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tinbodbass, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tinbodbass' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tinbodbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near foxes while wearing green rings.

2. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Do not take Tinbodbass' name in vain.