Bamnarlbif is a god.

He takes the form of a large, prudent otter.

Bamnarlbif created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamnarlbif, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bamnarlbif, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bamnarlbif's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bamnarlbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your back with red.

2. Never cross crossroads at midday.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Erect nine silver sculptures of Bamnarlbif on top of important buildings.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

Tagdinwad is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic parrot.

Tagdinwad created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagdinwad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tagdinwad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tagdinwad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tagdinwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not keep nine rats in a large pit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Flam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, effective deer.

Flam created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flam, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Flam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Never remain kneeling at midday.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Flam.

4. Put Flam first in all things.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

Kabrutsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, prudent sheep.

Kabrutsaw created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabrutsaw, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kabrutsaw, it will laugh at you.

Kabrutsaw's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kabrutsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Do not wear scarves marked with blue.

4. Never hurt sharks.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

Arnnelgen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, prudent clam.

Arnnelgen created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnnelgen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Arnnelgen, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Arnnelgen's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Arnnelgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

5. Never talk about gravity near ducks while wearing black coats and balancing six zinc spheres on your feet.

Kadstafrat is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, contented dryad.

Kadstafrat created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadstafrat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kadstafrat, she will turn you into a plant.

Kadstafrat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Kadstafrat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not place carrots upon stone.

3. Always share nuts with strangers, but never with squirrels.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

Veennegjap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciful fly.

Veennegjap created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Veennegjap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Veennegjap, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Veennegjap's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Veennegjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Veennegjap loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not resist order.

5. Never look in ponds.

Fabkinsaktaldaphensaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, all-powerful butterfly.

Fabkinsaktaldaphensaf created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabkinsaktaldaphensaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fabkinsaktaldaphensaf, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Fabkinsaktaldaphensaf's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fabkinsaktaldaphensaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

5. Never write about planets.