Faraftik is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Faraftik created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faraftik, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Faraftik, it will laugh at you.

Faraftik's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Faraftik's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Faraftik.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Kanwodxin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, benevolent wyrm.

Kanwodxin created the Tadpole Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Kanwodxin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kanwodxin, she will not care.

Kanwodxin's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kanwodxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never eat bread.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Never handle platinum while unclean.

Homhog is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, amazing raven.

Homhog created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homhog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Homhog, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Homhog's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Homhog's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Never eat bananas on days of mourning.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

Queegbogab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciful fox.

Queegbogab created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Queegbogab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Queegbogab, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Queegbogab's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Queegbogab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Jadmetgod is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, wise ant.

Jadmetgod created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadmetgod, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jadmetgod, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jadmetgod's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Jadmetgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

2. Never wear magenta stockings.

3. Never sit near eagles.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not speak about grapes.

Ragdidbam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, flying gerbil.

Ragdidbam created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragdidbam, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ragdidbam, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ragdidbam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Ragdidbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always count to three before sleeping.

Mabtifwik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, stupid unicorn.

Mabtifwik created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabtifwik, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mabtifwik, she will destroy your home planet.

Mabtifwik's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Mabtifwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of elders.

2. Mice are not to be trusted.

3. Never gather seven swans in one place.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

Dodlargtin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, dishonest manatee.

Dodlargtin created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodlargtin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dodlargtin, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dodlargtin's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dodlargtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while tainted.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

5. Never point your hands toward the south during prayer.