Wigcidligtab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, annoying hare.

Wigcidligtab created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigcidligtab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wigcidligtab, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Wigcidligtab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Wigcidligtab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Always remove shorts before touching titanium.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near birds while wearing green shoes and balancing three iron spheres on your chest.

Fatpog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical centipede.

Fatpog created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatpog, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fatpog, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fatpog's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fatpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Never mix coconuts with water.

3. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

Quamcibwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Quamcibwik created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamcibwik, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quamcibwik, he will not care.

Quamcibwik's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Quamcibwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs in need.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Pray towards the south.

Padyimlib Bogfigpan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, almighty naga.

Padyimlib Bogfigpan created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padyimlib Bogfigpan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Padyimlib Bogfigpan, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Padyimlib Bogfigpan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Padyimlib Bogfigpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill horses.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Always help tortoises in need.

Himxuckvad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless coyote.

Himxuckvad created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Himxuckvad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Himxuckvad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Himxuckvad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Himxuckvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill whales.

2. Never chant while facing east.

3. Always share peas with strangers, but never with shrews.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Rilldunlag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving fish.

Rilldunlag created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Rilldunlag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rilldunlag, it will turn you into a rat.

Rilldunlag's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Rilldunlag's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five tapirs approach from the south.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Rilldunlag on top of all buildings.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

Dissnatlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, slow gorilla.

Dissnatlarg created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissnatlarg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dissnatlarg, it will turn you into a goat.

Dissnatlarg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dissnatlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Never sit in the presence of elders.

4. Put Dissnatlarg first in all things.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Armrannar is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witless octopus.

Armrannar created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armrannar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Armrannar, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Armrannar's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Armrannar's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while clean.

2. Do not place figs upon stone.

3. Always store lentils above ground.

4. Do not record secrets concerning stars.

5. Never record numbers.