Betcib is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unjust bee.

Betcib created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Betcib, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Betcib, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Betcib's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Betcib's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Always wash your face before prayer.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Betcib in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never fashion tools from ash.

Pigcanflan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty hummingbird.

Pigcanflan created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigcanflan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pigcanflan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Pigcanflan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Pigcanflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never cross forests at dusk.

Jigcenlog is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, fast dugong.

Jigcenlog created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jigcenlog, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jigcenlog, she will destroy your favourite star.

Jigcenlog's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Jigcenlog's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility.

2. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

3. Never wear green boots.

4. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

5. Do not chant in public.

Looptarpvab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart jellyfish.

Looptarpvab created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Looptarpvab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Looptarpvab, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Looptarpvab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Looptarpvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop at rivers.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.

Gudtettiged is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, capable tapir.

Gudtettiged created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gudtettiged, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gudtettiged, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gudtettiged's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gudtettiged's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Run away from purple goats, for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always count to nine before sleeping.

Doddogflamgembonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, merciful mink.

Doddogflamgembonk created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doddogflamgembonk, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Doddogflamgembonk, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Doddogflamgembonk's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Doddogflamgembonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

3. Do not keep eight foxes in a large pit.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. You must pray to Doddogflamgembonk four times a day.

Catkonbod is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest porpoise.

Catkonbod created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catkonbod, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Catkonbod, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Catkonbod's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Catkonbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never feed spinach to sheep while wearing ear rings.

5. Never talk about fire.

Zoglidnig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, vain hyena.

Zoglidnig created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zoglidnig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zoglidnig, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Zoglidnig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Zoglidnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Feed all hungry great tits.

3. Always help goats in need.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Zoglidnig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never go into blue rooms.