Tailcabhiv is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, weak wyrm.

Tailcabhiv created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailcabhiv, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailcabhiv, it will laugh at you.

Tailcabhiv's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tailcabhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always act with purity when addressing elders.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tailcabhiv.

5. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

Bigdapbet Bellbiflimkonlagvon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, pitiless squirrel.

Bigdapbet Bellbiflimkonlagvon created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigdapbet Bellbiflimkonlagvon, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bigdapbet Bellbiflimkonlagvon, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bigdapbet Bellbiflimkonlagvon's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bigdapbet Bellbiflimkonlagvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Hide from mauve capybaras for they are unholy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midday.

5. Put Bigdapbet Bellbiflimkonlagvon first in all things.

Pogrenfub is a god.

He takes the form of a small, deceitful bear.

Pogrenfub created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogrenfub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pogrenfub, he will turn you into a puffin.

Pogrenfub's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Pogrenfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five great tits in one place.

2. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Hoglimhit is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, able wolf.

Hoglimhit created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hoglimhit, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hoglimhit, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hoglimhit's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hoglimhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

2. Never point your neck toward the west during prayer.

3. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat wheat.

Larpbonrigvag is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent pigeon.

Larpbonrigvag created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larpbonrigvag, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Larpbonrigvag, she will remove you from existence.

Larpbonrigvag's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Larpbonrigvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce at rivers.

2. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

Bodnaklam is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable walrus.

Bodnaklam created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Bodnaklam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bodnaklam, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bodnaklam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bodnaklam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Always remove trousers before touching carbon.

3. Hide if five hamsters approach from the east.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bodnaklam.

5. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

Likflam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unfair dugong.

Likflam created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Likflam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Likflam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Likflam's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Likflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near sharks while wearing pink tights and balancing eight lead spheres on your legs.

2. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

3. Never gather six capybaras in one place.

4. Do not prepare beans while wearing rings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Nathongep is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, smart grasshopper.

Nathongep created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nathongep, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nathongep, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nathongep's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nathongep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always store turnips above ground.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near badgers while wearing magenta trousers.

4. Nathongep loves mites, so they must be honoured.

5. Never pour water over plants.