Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart frog.

Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat, she will turn you into a mole.

Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Worship no other gods but Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat.

Koplakmob is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-powerful wasp.

Koplakmob created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Koplakmob, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Koplakmob, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Koplakmob's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Koplakmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always obey Koplakmob's priests.

4. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.

5. Do not record signs concerning nebulae.

Cebomtnut is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, strong rhinoceros.

Cebomtnut created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebomtnut, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cebomtnut, he will turn you into a worm.

Cebomtnut's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Cebomtnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to horses while wearing indigo rings.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not speak about coconuts.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Cedflagmit is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, caring tapir.

Cedflagmit created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedflagmit, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cedflagmit, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cedflagmit's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Cedflagmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

2. Never sit near goats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cedflagmit.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Never prepare rice during winter.

Bafbutfid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unthinking mongoose.

Bafbutfid created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bafbutfid, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bafbutfid, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bafbutfid's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bafbutfid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not resist fate.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

Tarpcepbem is a god.

She takes the form of a small, thoughtless slug.

Tarpcepbem created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tarpcepbem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tarpcepbem, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tarpcepbem's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Tarpcepbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear ear rings marked with pink.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Remain kneeling during prayer.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never adorn your feet with green markings.

Sagcitsid is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, narcissistic frog.

Sagcitsid created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sagcitsid, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sagcitsid, it will destroy your favourite star.

Sagcitsid's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Sagcitsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Never feed aubergines to voles while wearing mauve boots.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

Bissdabjan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody wyvern.

Bissdabjan created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissdabjan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissdabjan, it will turn you into a dog.

Bissdabjan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bissdabjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to seals while wearing white scarves.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never speak at midnight.