Wattifgod is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent mouse.

Wattifgod created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wattifgod, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wattifgod, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Wattifgod's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Wattifgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

2. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Hide if nine snakes approach from the west.

Nilpasbaf Bedhivcib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, strong toad.

Nilpasbaf Bedhivcib created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilpasbaf Bedhivcib, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nilpasbaf Bedhivcib, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nilpasbaf Bedhivcib's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Nilpasbaf Bedhivcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Do not chant at forests.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

Hongamben Jatnelltail Renpagtip is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, competent hare.

Hongamben Jatnelltail Renpagtip created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hongamben Jatnelltail Renpagtip, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hongamben Jatnelltail Renpagtip, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hongamben Jatnelltail Renpagtip's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Hongamben Jatnelltail Renpagtip's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

3. Worship no other gods but Hongamben Jatnelltail Renpagtip.

4. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

5. Never handle zinc while unclean.

Lenhogvonkhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ruthless mole.

Lenhogvonkhiv created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Lenhogvonkhiv, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lenhogvonkhiv, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lenhogvonkhiv's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Lenhogvonkhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

2. Always store wheat above ground.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Do not keep three otters in a large pit.

Hivtalbud is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident cat.

Hivtalbud created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivtalbud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hivtalbud, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hivtalbud's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Hivtalbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear shorts marked with magenta.

3. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

4. Never mark doors with orange.

5. Never eat coconuts.

Targnellfid Kamortmon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty crab.

Targnellfid Kamortmon created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targnellfid Kamortmon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Targnellfid Kamortmon, she will boil you in a big pot.

Targnellfid Kamortmon's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Targnellfid Kamortmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

Dumdossmut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, proud newt.

Dumdossmut created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumdossmut, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dumdossmut, it will destroy your home solar system.

Dumdossmut's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Dumdossmut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Dumdossmut on top of all buildings.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

3. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumdossmut.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

Zigwabaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, charitable crow.

Zigwabaf created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigwabaf, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zigwabaf, he will turn you into a duck.

Zigwabaf's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zigwabaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat onions on days of mourning.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.