Bossontpom is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless raven.

Bossontpom created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossontpom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bossontpom, it will laugh at you.

Bossontpom's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bossontpom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Bossontpom on top of important buildings.

2. Worship no other gods but Bossontpom.

3. Never gather three tortoises near doors.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Ceddumgat Genjopcap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, almighty elephant.

Ceddumgat Genjopcap created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ceddumgat Genjopcap, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ceddumgat Genjopcap, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ceddumgat Genjopcap's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ceddumgat Genjopcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Ceddumgat Genjopcap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not prepare peas while filled with pride.

5. Never feed beans to tapirs while wearing coats.

Jopkinaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, strong seal.

Jopkinaf created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopkinaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jopkinaf, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jopkinaf's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Jopkinaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight badgers in one place.

2. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

3. Do not name children after frogs.

4. Always look after injured aardvarks.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Titnadtail is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tranquil jaguar.

Titnadtail created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titnadtail, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Titnadtail, he will try to impress you with trees.

Titnadtail's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Titnadtail's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine geese approach from the north.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear rings marked with mauve.

4. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Queeg is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ill-tempered frog.

Queeg created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeg, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Queeg, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Queeg's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Queeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always store limes above ground.

2. Never approach forests carrying stone.

3. You must pray to Queeg four times a day.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never talk about birds.

Fetstaffid is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, proud elephant.

Fetstaffid created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetstaffid, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fetstaffid, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fetstaffid's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fetstaffid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Nellvanfag is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured yak.

Nellvanfag created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellvanfag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nellvanfag, it will be very unhappy.

Nellvanfag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Nellvanfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Never think about spacetime near capybaras while wearing white dresses and balancing five silver spheres on your hands.

5. Do not skip in public.

Bomnulfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain guinea pig.

Bomnulfarn created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bomnulfarn, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bomnulfarn, she will curse you with boils.

Bomnulfarn's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bomnulfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not sit at crossroads.

5. Never feed parsnips to whales while wearing indigo coats.