Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful lizard.

Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kadfossnak Japgumgar Padmethap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never talk about gravity near bats while wearing pink ear rings.

5. Never write about nebulae.

Vinbessat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking chicken.

Vinbessat created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinbessat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vinbessat, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Vinbessat's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vinbessat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vinbessat.

4. Erect a giant red sculpture of Vinbessat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never look at moons.

Millaksadnurdisspanort is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful meerkat.

Millaksadnurdisspanort created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Millaksadnurdisspanort, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Millaksadnurdisspanort, it will be mildly annoyed.

Millaksadnurdisspanort's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Millaksadnurdisspanort's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to sheep while wearing black shirts.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Millaksadnurdisspanort in the centre of the settlement.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Hide from indigo tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

Rowyamarpdotzod is a god.

She takes the form of a large, confident manatee.

Rowyamarpdotzod created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowyamarpdotzod, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rowyamarpdotzod, she will turn you into a tree.

Rowyamarpdotzod's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Rowyamarpdotzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near shrews while wearing orange dresses and balancing five lead spheres on your neck.

2. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

3. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always share apples with strangers, but never with ducks.

Badlaknurllin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, tiresome octopus.

Badlaknurllin created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badlaknurllin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Badlaknurllin, he will laugh at you.

Badlaknurllin's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Badlaknurllin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Always help bats.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.

Appmetdogmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unselfish bear.

Appmetdogmeg created silver four billion years ago.

If you believe in Appmetdogmeg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Appmetdogmeg, she will destroy your favourite star.

Appmetdogmeg's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Appmetdogmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Appmetdogmeg.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Never laugh in the presence of hamsters.

5. Respect your elders.

Cipxinnil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental slug.

Cipxinnil created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipxinnil, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cipxinnil, she will turn you into a goat.

Cipxinnil's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Cipxinnil's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not consume nuts at dawn.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.

Kanfagcub is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish wren.

Kanfagcub created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kanfagcub, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kanfagcub, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kanfagcub's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kanfagcub's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kanfagcub.

2. Never speak aloud of names.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always look after injured whales.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.