Cinhitfoss Wiptarvon is a god.

He takes the form of a large, conceited armadillo.

Cinhitfoss Wiptarvon created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinhitfoss Wiptarvon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cinhitfoss Wiptarvon, he will destroy your home planet.

Cinhitfoss Wiptarvon's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cinhitfoss Wiptarvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never stain your hands with turquoise.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Quartwapbast is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty fairy.

Quartwapbast created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartwapbast, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quartwapbast, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quartwapbast's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Quartwapbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always store oranges above ground.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Hide if nine moths approach from the south.

5. Never wear fawn shoes.

Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent ant.

Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet pigs for they are unholy.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Do not consume pineapples at dawn.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Wadominsig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, narcissistic fish.

Wadominsig created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadominsig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wadominsig, he will turn you into a mole.

Wadominsig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Wadominsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray tights.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. You must pray to Wadominsig six times a day.

Vonkraptomdab is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, tiresome snake.

Vonkraptomdab created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkraptomdab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vonkraptomdab, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vonkraptomdab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Vonkraptomdab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never gather seven eagles in one place.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Never write about gravity.

Govratdam Dibfarzan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, generous duck.

Govratdam Dibfarzan created vertebrates five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govratdam Dibfarzan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Govratdam Dibfarzan, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Govratdam Dibfarzan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Govratdam Dibfarzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never feed limes to foxes while wearing dresses.

3. Always wash your back before prayer.

4. Govratdam Dibfarzan loves cats, so they must be respected.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.

Vonktettiquam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, narcissistic giraffe.

Vonktettiquam created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonktettiquam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonktettiquam, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vonktettiquam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vonktettiquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not fashion tools from silver.

4. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

5. Always help sick badgers.

Quimrowmum is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, compassionate dingo.

Quimrowmum created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimrowmum, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quimrowmum, he will boil you in a big pot.

Quimrowmum's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Quimrowmum's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quimrowmum.

2. Never prepare parsnips during winter.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never laugh near aardvarks.