Cebwabgun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish frog.

Cebwabgun created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebwabgun, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cebwabgun, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cebwabgun's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cebwabgun's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Always act with purity when addressing priests.

3. You must pray to Cebwabgun nine times a day.

4. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Bagtinpom is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-knowing yak.

Bagtinpom created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagtinpom, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bagtinpom, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bagtinpom's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bagtinpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your arms toward the south during prayer.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not name children after shrews.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Meg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, humane crane.

Meg created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Meg, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Meg, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Meg's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Meg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never prepare pineapples during summer.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

4. Never hop near monkeys.

5. Always help ants.

Fomgomhan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest finch.

Fomgomhan created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomgomhan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fomgomhan, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fomgomhan's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fomgomhan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales in need.

2. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Erect six copper sculptures of Fomgomhan on top of important buildings.

Futmadgen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, clever otter.

Futmadgen created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futmadgen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Futmadgen, he will make you grow a tail.

Futmadgen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Futmadgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near capybaras while wearing blue kilts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your chest.

Venshavcum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciless dolphin.

Venshavcum created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Venshavcum, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Venshavcum, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Venshavcum's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Venshavcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Always count to three before sleeping.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Ranboplen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, conceited snake.

Ranboplen created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Ranboplen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ranboplen, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ranboplen's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ranboplen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after tortoises.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Never gather three mites in one place.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Lamfotzim is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, egotistical deer.

Lamfotzim created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamfotzim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lamfotzim, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lamfotzim's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Lamfotzim's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Retreat if three dolphins approach from the north.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.