Fatwotpan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, wise bat.

Fatwotpan created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Fatwotpan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fatwotpan, she will be very sad.

Fatwotpan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fatwotpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.

Pogjiptom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, smart aardvark.

Pogjiptom created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogjiptom, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pogjiptom, he will turn you into a goat.

Pogjiptom's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Pogjiptom's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Pogjiptom in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Do not wear skirts marked with blue.

5. Do not consume onions at dawn.

Bedteentetti is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful bat.

Bedteentetti created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedteentetti, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bedteentetti, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bedteentetti's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bedteentetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with purple.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always help sick mice.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

Min is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, blissful crane.

Min created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Min, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Min, it will not invite you to parties.

Min's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Min's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare rice during autumn.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

Hatfungat Getcuningtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, awesome walrus.

Hatfungat Getcuningtetti created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatfungat Getcuningtetti, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hatfungat Getcuningtetti, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hatfungat Getcuningtetti's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hatfungat Getcuningtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Mot is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered slug.

Mot created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Mot, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mot, she will come to you in dreams.

Mot's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Mot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. You must pray to Mot three times a day.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Always obey Mot's priests.

5. Never paint your arms cyan.

Tailtom is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic troll.

Tailtom created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailtom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tailtom, it will curse you with boils.

Tailtom's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tailtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Never chant in the presence of capybaras.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.

Madfotcan is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, impressive narwhal.

Madfotcan created the Sol system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Madfotcan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Madfotcan, it will laugh at you.

Madfotcan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Madfotcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Always wash your head before prayer.

4. Never wear mauve shoes.

5. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.