Midhunkad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, strong fox.

Midhunkad created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midhunkad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Midhunkad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Midhunkad's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Midhunkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Never jump near rats.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Toftaltom is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful sheep.

Toftaltom created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Toftaltom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Toftaltom, it will turn you into a rock.

Toftaltom's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Toftaltom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Do not place lentils upon stone.

4. Never prepare limes during autumn.

5. Always remove ear rings before touching titanium.

Begfidlabciss is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable rhinoceros.

Begfidlabciss created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begfidlabciss, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Begfidlabciss, she will try to impress you with trees.

Begfidlabciss' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Begfidlabciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during summer.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Never mention grasshopers.

4. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

5. Heed all signs.

Gadkadtim is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, witless dragonfly.

Gadkadtim created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadkadtim, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gadkadtim, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gadkadtim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gadkadtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Never feed peas to nematodes while wearing blue shorts.

3. Always obey Gadkadtim's priests.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.

Dagsak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, caring jackal.

Dagsak created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagsak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dagsak, he will turn you into a dog.

Dagsak's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Dagsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Kencabdib is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omniscient centaur.

Kencabdib created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Kencabdib, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kencabdib, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kencabdib's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Kencabdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

2. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always count to five before sleeping.

5. Never handle platinum while unclean.

Kipmiplim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-confident shrew.

Kipmiplim created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipmiplim, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kipmiplim, it will destroy your home planet.

Kipmiplim's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kipmiplim's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Never prepare garlic during winter.

3. Never hop near porpoises.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about monkeys.

Nuldibcep is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-confident parrot.

Nuldibcep created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuldibcep, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nuldibcep, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nuldibcep's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nuldibcep's Holy Commandments

1. Nuldibcep loves rats, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not prepare lentils while wearing stockings.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Do not speak about corn.