Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, passionate fish.

Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bemsagflig Kemvilcen Xuckdab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Never feed nuts to shrews while wearing white ear rings.

3. Do not consume tomatoes at dawn.

4. Never remain kneeling at midday.

5. Never prepare lemons during summer.

Fitponfob is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, resourceful dove.

Fitponfob created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitponfob, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fitponfob, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fitponfob's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fitponfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Put Fitponfob first in all things.

3. Fitponfob loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never handle nickel while unclean.

Gudtarpwigwapbuskimvidzag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, selfish wren.

Gudtarpwigwapbuskimvidzag created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudtarpwigwapbuskimvidzag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gudtarpwigwapbuskimvidzag, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gudtarpwigwapbuskimvidzag's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gudtarpwigwapbuskimvidzag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never cross mountains at midnight.

3. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Worship no other gods but Gudtarpwigwapbuskimvidzag.

Bunbaggumfebbugdodnulceb is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, staggering fox.

Bunbaggumfebbugdodnulceb created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bunbaggumfebbugdodnulceb, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bunbaggumfebbugdodnulceb, she will remove you from existence.

Bunbaggumfebbugdodnulceb's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bunbaggumfebbugdodnulceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at dawn.

2. Do not fashion tools from iron.

3. Never travel toward the south during winter.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Never skip in the presence of elders.

Sisstanjop is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident aardvark.

Sisstanjop created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sisstanjop, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sisstanjop, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sisstanjop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sisstanjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

Somjatdud is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome jellyfish.

Somjatdud created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Somjatdud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Somjatdud, he will turn you into a mole.

Somjatdud's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Somjatdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine foxes in one place.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never handle lead while unclean.

Kadlibzak is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, strong porpoise.

Kadlibzak created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadlibzak, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kadlibzak, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Kadlibzak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kadlibzak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet ants for they are unholy.

2. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

3. Never feed lots of bananas to bats while wearing orange stockings.

4. Do not hop at forests.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Bundad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unselfish eagle.

Bundad created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bundad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bundad, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bundad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bundad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never gather five great tits in one place.

3. Do not prepare grapes while wearing jumpers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Do not covet oxen.