Vilbossrakvab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, boastful monkey.

Vilbossrakvab created the Sombrero Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilbossrakvab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vilbossrakvab, she will strike you with lightening.

Vilbossrakvab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vilbossrakvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix peas with oil.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Do not consume beans at dawn.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing turquoise tights.

5. Never cross rivers at dawn.

Loopbadcip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, able narwhal.

Loopbadcip created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbadcip, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Loopbadcip, it will turn you into a worm.

Loopbadcip's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Loopbadcip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about spacetime near sharks while wearing orange skirts and balancing eight lead spheres on your head.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

5. Never cross forests at midday.

Wabkikgov is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic crocodile.

Wabkikgov created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabkikgov, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wabkikgov, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Wabkikgov's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Wabkikgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Do not eat spinach.

Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, flying grasshopper.

Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur on top of all buildings.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Do not record names concerning nebulae.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Xuctigcap Latlikrillnur in the centre of the settlement.

Him Quatsandget is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, all-powerful wasp.

Him Quatsandget created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Him Quatsandget, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Him Quatsandget, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Him Quatsandget's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Him Quatsandget's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never write about chlorophyll.

4. Always wash your back before prayer.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

Zogmobcun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, all-powerful bat.

Zogmobcun created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogmobcun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zogmobcun, he will turn you into a sheep.

Zogmobcun's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zogmobcun's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never cross rivers at midnight.

3. Zogmobcun loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.

Siskamfas is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, smart ferret.

Siskamfas created the Sombrero Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Siskamfas, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Siskamfas, he will be very sad.

Siskamfas' most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Siskamfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.

Carlatloop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, slow alligator.

Carlatloop created the Sombrero Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Carlatloop, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Carlatloop, it will think nothing of it.

Carlatloop's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Carlatloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three mice in a large pit.

2. Do not record numbers concerning dwarf planets.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near foxes while wearing brown rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your neck.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.