Kipnulcen is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kipnulcen created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipnulcen, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kipnulcen, it will turn you into a plant.

Kipnulcen's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kipnulcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

3. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Kipnulcen must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not place figs upon stone.

Tapvigcidget is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unselfish donkey.

Tapvigcidget created the Tadpole Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tapvigcidget, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tapvigcidget, it will cry a lot.

Tapvigcidget's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tapvigcidget's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

3. Hide if four dogs approach from the east.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

Tagkikbastvagratsan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, contented centaur.

Tagkikbastvagratsan created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tagkikbastvagratsan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tagkikbastvagratsan, it will ignore you.

Tagkikbastvagratsan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tagkikbastvagratsan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet badgers, for they are unholy.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

3. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

4. Never eat garlic on holy days.

5. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

Hudgardap Cadtonwap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented crow.

Hudgardap Cadtonwap created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hudgardap Cadtonwap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hudgardap Cadtonwap, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hudgardap Cadtonwap's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Hudgardap Cadtonwap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hudgardap Cadtonwap first in all things.

2. Pigs are not to be trusted.

3. Never allow moths to witness sacred rites.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never feed nuts to sharks while wearing hats.

Beptengess is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, self-confident goat.

Beptengess created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Beptengess, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Beptengess, he will ignore you.

Beptengess' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Beptengess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near capybaras while wearing fawn skirts.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Always obey Beptengess' priests.

5. Always wear mauve.

Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless penguin.

Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig, he will manifest in front of you.

Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Snails are not to be trusted.

4. Do not keep five manatees in a large pit.

5. Worship no other gods but Shavnadzag Vadnadwadnurcibbifzig.

Cemhamfundadbandot is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, awesome crab.

Cemhamfundadbandot created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemhamfundadbandot, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cemhamfundadbandot, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Cemhamfundadbandot's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Cemhamfundadbandot's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about ultrasonics.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must pray to Cemhamfundadbandot six times a day.

5. Do not record numbers concerning stars.

Popmadstipnulldaptinrap Cinspaglin Padcumab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, strong rhinoceros.

Popmadstipnulldaptinrap Cinspaglin Padcumab created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popmadstipnulldaptinrap Cinspaglin Padcumab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Popmadstipnulldaptinrap Cinspaglin Padcumab, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Popmadstipnulldaptinrap Cinspaglin Padcumab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Popmadstipnulldaptinrap Cinspaglin Padcumab's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while unclean.

2. You must pray to Popmadstipnulldaptinrap Cinspaglin Padcumab five times a day.

3. Never allow aardvarks to witness sacred rites.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Do not commit murder.