Bimgomrul is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-powerful dove.

Bimgomrul created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Bimgomrul, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bimgomrul, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bimgomrul's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bimgomrul's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always maintain patience during holy days.

3. Never allow snails to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Flowgembarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, humorless crab.

Flowgembarn created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowgembarn, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flowgembarn, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flowgembarn's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Flowgembarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not wear shorts marked with gray.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always count to three before sleeping.

5. Never wear hats.

Tarkomveen is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, humane otter.

Tarkomveen created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarkomveen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tarkomveen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Tarkomveen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tarkomveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Put Tarkomveen first in all things.

Carwithun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, self-assured ferret.

Carwithun created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Carwithun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Carwithun, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Carwithun's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Carwithun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six great tits approach from the north.

2. Do not prepare corn while wearing rings.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Quatbandid is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, annoying hippopotamus.

Quatbandid created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatbandid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quatbandid, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Quatbandid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Quatbandid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Quatbandid on top of all buildings.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near voles while wearing blue hats and balancing six nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.

Hongovjin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, ill-tempered wyrm.

Hongovjin created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hongovjin, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hongovjin, she will laugh at you.

Hongovjin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Hongovjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise rings on sacred days.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. You must pray to Hongovjin five times a day.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never pray while filled with envy.

Lamcedfob is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, kind lion.

Lamcedfob created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lamcedfob, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lamcedfob, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Lamcedfob's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Lamcedfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Run away from white moths, for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about otters.

5. Do not travel during autumn.

Fodven Kinpangbest Kimliprot is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring crab.

Fodven Kinpangbest Kimliprot created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodven Kinpangbest Kimliprot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fodven Kinpangbest Kimliprot, she will turn you into a mouse.

Fodven Kinpangbest Kimliprot's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Fodven Kinpangbest Kimliprot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fodven Kinpangbest Kimliprot.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never adorn your legs with cyan markings.