Vidfarnparkzak is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome fly.

Vidfarnparkzak created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidfarnparkzak, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vidfarnparkzak, she will manifest in front of you.

Vidfarnparkzak's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Vidfarnparkzak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Vidfarnparkzak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always look after injured whales.

3. Always help ants in need.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Retreat if nine rats approach from the west.

Gemsaflid is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome salamander.

Gemsaflid created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Gemsaflid, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gemsaflid, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gemsaflid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gemsaflid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never leap in the presence of dogs.

3. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

4. Never mark doors with white.

5. Do not listen to music.

Lipmilxinman is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic crow.

Lipmilxinman created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lipmilxinman, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lipmilxinman, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lipmilxinman's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Lipmilxinman's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six gulls near doors.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Targ is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, irritating bird.

Targ created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Targ, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Targ, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Targ's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Targ's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never wear mauve tights.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Erect four lead sculptures of Targ on top of important buildings.

5. Do not name children after mice.

Mad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, merciless wasp.

Mad created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Mad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Mad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Do not name children after dolphins.

4. Do not kill horses.

5. Never wear orange scarves on sacred days.

Flabmobjad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, blissful faun.

Flabmobjad created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Flabmobjad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flabmobjad, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flabmobjad's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Flabmobjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to doves while wearing dresses.

2. Never paint your legs black.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near dogs while wearing brown scarves.

Funlidkop is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering centaur.

Funlidkop created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Funlidkop, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Funlidkop, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Funlidkop's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Funlidkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not skip at forests.

4. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

Lanhunfad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humorless dolphin.

Lanhunfad created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanhunfad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Lanhunfad, it will ignore you.

Lanhunfad's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Lanhunfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never point your arms toward the south during prayer.