Larpfitnat is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured swan.

Larpfitnat created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpfitnat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Larpfitnat, it will curse you with boils.

Larpfitnat's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Larpfitnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

4. Never touch oil while blessed.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Bodtikcin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, confident parrot.

Bodtikcin created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bodtikcin, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bodtikcin, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bodtikcin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bodtikcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Put Bodtikcin first in all things.

4. Do not gather at wells at midnight.

5. Never handle platinum while unclean.

Bapvogkar is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating faun.

Bapvogkar created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapvogkar, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bapvogkar, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bapvogkar's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bapvogkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never stain your face with brown.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Gessyattgid is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent mongoose.

Gessyattgid created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessyattgid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gessyattgid, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gessyattgid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gessyattgid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat rats with great respect.

2. Hide if nine nematodes approach from the west.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never cross rivers at dawn.

5. Do not wear jumpers marked with brown.

Rappitflat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage hummingbird.

Rappitflat created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rappitflat, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rappitflat, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Rappitflat's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Rappitflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Never sit in holy places.

Barnontleg is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, effective horse.

Barnontleg created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Barnontleg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Barnontleg, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Barnontleg's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Barnontleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes on holy days.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

Rulltaprul is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, kind naga.

Rulltaprul created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Rulltaprul, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rulltaprul, it will try to impress you with trees.

Rulltaprul's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Rulltaprul's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle zinc while unclean.

2. Never think ill of sick frogs.

3. Never run in the presence of elders.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

5. Never talk about special relativity near horses while wearing mauve stockings and balancing six copper spheres on your hands.

Konkikbast Gonbegnart is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome tapir.

Konkikbast Gonbegnart created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Konkikbast Gonbegnart, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Konkikbast Gonbegnart, it will not care at all.

Konkikbast Gonbegnart's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Konkikbast Gonbegnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

4. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

5. Never allow sheep to sleep beneath your roof.