Xembonjanlim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, uncaring gnu.

Xembonjanlim created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xembonjanlim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xembonjanlim, she will try to impress you with trees.

Xembonjanlim's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Xembonjanlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Never hop in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never feed grapes to porpoises while wearing corsets.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Xembonjanlim on top of all buildings.

Zigfarnhan Yogjipban is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, egotistical toad.

Zigfarnhan Yogjipban created the Virgo Supercluster two years ago.

If you believe in Zigfarnhan Yogjipban, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zigfarnhan Yogjipban, it will think nothing of it.

Zigfarnhan Yogjipban's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zigfarnhan Yogjipban's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zigfarnhan Yogjipban.

2. Do not wear corsets marked with cyan.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near mites while wearing orange shirts and balancing four lead spheres on your legs.

4. Never chant in the presence of cats.

5. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

Yakrillqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, sage hamster.

Yakrillqueeg created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakrillqueeg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yakrillqueeg, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Yakrillqueeg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yakrillqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six grasshopers approach from the west.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never mark doors with brown.

4. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yakrillqueeg.

Narlbogstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fast warg.

Narlbogstaf created the Virgo Supercluster seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlbogstaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Narlbogstaf, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Narlbogstaf's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Narlbogstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your legs toward the north during prayer.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Do not run at crossroads.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Always obey Narlbogstaf's priests.

Dagbomgil is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, compassionate meerkat.

Dagbomgil created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagbomgil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dagbomgil, he will turn you into a hamster.

Dagbomgil's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dagbomgil's Holy Commandments

1. Dagbomgil loves geese, so they must be respected.

2. Do not consume nuts at dawn.

3. Erect four tin sculptures of Dagbomgil on top of important buildings.

4. Do not kill tortoises.

5. Always count to eight before sleeping.

Cangenyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, sapient spider.

Cangenyatt created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cangenyatt, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cangenyatt, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cangenyatt's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cangenyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four manatees approach from the west.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Cangenyatt in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always maintain patience during holy days.

Dapbumpas is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tiresome warg.

Dapbumpas created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapbumpas, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dapbumpas, it will boil you in a big pot.

Dapbumpas' most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dapbumpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not prepare carrots while filled with pride.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Sogmumbud is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating beaver.

Sogmumbud created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogmumbud, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sogmumbud, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sogmumbud's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Sogmumbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.