Flykinpig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate parrot.

Flykinpig created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flykinpig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flykinpig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flykinpig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Flykinpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Never stain your back with green.

3. Always count to seven before sleeping.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Flykinpig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Run away from blue ducks, for they are unholy.

Leggandabsat is a god.

He takes the form of a small, dishonourable eagle.

Leggandabsat created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Leggandabsat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Leggandabsat, he will curse you with boils.

Leggandabsat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Leggandabsat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Yaksterfob is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering octopus.

Yaksterfob created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaksterfob, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yaksterfob, he will remove you from existence.

Yaksterfob's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yaksterfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never allow frogs to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Always wash your legs before prayer.

4. Always help doves.

5. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

Spaghapvengepfon is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, weak snake.

Spaghapvengepfon created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spaghapvengepfon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spaghapvengepfon, she will remove you from existence.

Spaghapvengepfon's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Spaghapvengepfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about great tits.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Do not resist balance.

Dubflanwat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unjust fox.

Dubflanwat created the Sunflower Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubflanwat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dubflanwat, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dubflanwat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Dubflanwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of melons to horses while wearing cyan tights.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never allow gulls to witness sacred rites.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Never handle platinum while unclean.

Quarthadbass is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, compassionate crab.

Quarthadbass created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Quarthadbass, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quarthadbass, she will not care.

Quarthadbass' most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Quarthadbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink kilts.

2. Never run in winter.

3. Worship no other gods but Quarthadbass.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Lamrippad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, able lobster.

Lamrippad created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Lamrippad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lamrippad, he will make you grow a tail.

Lamrippad's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Lamrippad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mice.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

Batzanfarnmegxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, happy grasshopper.

Batzanfarnmegxuc created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batzanfarnmegxuc, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Batzanfarnmegxuc, he will refuse to believe in you.

Batzanfarnmegxuc's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Batzanfarnmegxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red jumpers.

2. Batzanfarnmegxuc loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Never allow snakes to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near horses while wearing white coats and balancing six titanium spheres on your arms.