Pitnuttzimyam is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy tortoise.

Pitnuttzimyam created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitnuttzimyam, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitnuttzimyam, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pitnuttzimyam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pitnuttzimyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always help ants in need.

4. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

5. Never handle zinc while unclean.

Haphatgon is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omniscient snail.

Haphatgon created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Haphatgon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Haphatgon, he will be very unhappy.

Haphatgon's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Haphatgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Do not dye your hair green.

Bothanstip is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, amazing deer.

Bothanstip created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bothanstip, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bothanstip, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bothanstip's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bothanstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing north.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Always store coconuts above ground.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Fumkonjam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, strong deer.

Fumkonjam created the Sol system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumkonjam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fumkonjam, he will have a low opinion of you.

Fumkonjam's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fumkonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near whales.

2. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

3. Never adorn your face with cyan markings.

4. Do not keep three dogs in a large pit.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Raptarcid is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witty otter.

Raptarcid created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Raptarcid, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Raptarcid, he will turn you into a snail.

Raptarcid's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Raptarcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at dusk.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look at stars.

Lignillfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a large, bad-tempered wolf.

Lignillfeb created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lignillfeb, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lignillfeb, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lignillfeb's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Lignillfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always store bread above ground.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

Watvabnib is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, two-faced weasel.

Watvabnib created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watvabnib, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Watvabnib, she will turn you into a plant.

Watvabnib's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Watvabnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

2. Do not name children after swans.

3. Always maintain humility during holy days.

4. Retreat if eight eagles approach from the south.

5. Always wear cyan.

Ranbotkomdunfud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust octopus.

Ranbotkomdunfud created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranbotkomdunfud, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ranbotkomdunfud, he will manifest in front of you.

Ranbotkomdunfud's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Ranbotkomdunfud's Holy Commandments

1. Ranbotkomdunfud must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Feed all hungry eagles.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not kill ants.

5. Always help sick monkeys.