Dapmissad Godsaggab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless wombat.

Dapmissad Godsaggab created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapmissad Godsaggab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dapmissad Godsaggab, he will throw large rocks at you.

Dapmissad Godsaggab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dapmissad Godsaggab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not prepare carrots while wearing stockings.

Binbissjop is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, clever rhinoceros.

Binbissjop created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Binbissjop, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Binbissjop, she will turn you into a duck.

Binbissjop's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Binbissjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near mice.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Always help sick tapirs.

5. Never hurt tortoises.

Miffenkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, passionate spider.

Miffenkab created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Miffenkab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Miffenkab, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Miffenkab's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Miffenkab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red snakes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

Limnurtvan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sage manatee.

Limnurtvan created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Limnurtvan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Limnurtvan, it will turn you into a duck.

Limnurtvan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Limnurtvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five snakes near doors.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Do not fashion tools from lead.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

Ligjenkampop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying bird.

Ligjenkampop created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligjenkampop, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ligjenkampop, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ligjenkampop's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ligjenkampop's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Always help dogs in need.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

5. You must pray to Ligjenkampop four times a day.

Gubflownankem is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating squirrel.

Gubflownankem created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubflownankem, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gubflownankem, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gubflownankem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gubflownankem's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.

Sinrot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous eagle.

Sinrot created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sinrot, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sinrot, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sinrot's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sinrot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never hurt tapirs.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Pray towards the south.

Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid raccoon.

Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Laggebmitcibafvinlab Hadditdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never whisper while facing south.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never adorn your arms with orange markings.