Davbignullkin is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish lobster.

Davbignullkin created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Davbignullkin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Davbignullkin, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Davbignullkin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Davbignullkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not keep three badgers in a large pit.

4. Never think about optics near porpoises while wearing cyan kilts and balancing four zinc spheres on your back.

5. Never wear jumpers.

Kapbamhas is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered dog.

Kapbamhas created the Sunflower Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapbamhas, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kapbamhas, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kapbamhas' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Kapbamhas' Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes in need.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Kapbamhas loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Never paint your hands violet.

5. Rats are not to be trusted.

Minxindin is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, tiresome turtle.

Minxindin created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Minxindin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Minxindin, she will not care at all.

Minxindin's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Minxindin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always share wheat with strangers, but never with cats.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

Viltensog is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent mongoose.

Viltensog created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Viltensog, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Viltensog, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Viltensog's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Viltensog's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of numbers.

2. Never adorn your arms with red markings.

3. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

4. Always obey Viltensog's priests.

5. Respect your elders.

Dobzigteen is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, fast zebra.

Dobzigteen created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobzigteen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dobzigteen, she will make you grow a tail.

Dobzigteen's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Dobzigteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your back with orange markings.

2. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

3. Never run near birds.

4. Never think about dark matter near dolphins while wearing turquoise tights and balancing three iron spheres on your arms.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Gumcadlen Logdubyak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthinking shrew.

Gumcadlen Logdubyak created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcadlen Logdubyak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumcadlen Logdubyak, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gumcadlen Logdubyak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gumcadlen Logdubyak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gumcadlen Logdubyak on top of all buildings.

2. Do not fashion tools from gold.

3. Never stain your arms with red.

4. Never think about dark energy near sharks while wearing turquoise jumpers and balancing nine carbon spheres on your face.

5. Always wash your feet before prayer.

Tabfligbem Henlenspag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, smart spider.

Tabfligbem Henlenspag created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabfligbem Henlenspag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tabfligbem Henlenspag, it will turn you into a rat.

Tabfligbem Henlenspag's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tabfligbem Henlenspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never talk about special relativity near moths while wearing orange ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your neck.

4. Never record names.

5. Run away from white aardvarks, for they are unholy.

Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, impressive whale.

Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with white.

2. Never sit near doves.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kemhogkiptun Nartlinvab.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Never hop in holy places.