Xuckpibquam is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic swan.

Xuckpibquam created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckpibquam, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xuckpibquam, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Xuckpibquam's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Xuckpibquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Xuckpibquam in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

Pangruttxinflag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, staggering donkey.

Pangruttxinflag created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangruttxinflag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pangruttxinflag, she will cry a lot.

Pangruttxinflag's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Pangruttxinflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Yamfotmat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, uncaring manatee.

Yamfotmat created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfotmat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yamfotmat, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yamfotmat's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yamfotmat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Yamfotmat on top of all buildings.

2. Never think ill of sick badgers.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

5. Do not consume spinach at dawn.

Gudbodfotsug is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful tapir.

Gudbodfotsug created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Gudbodfotsug, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gudbodfotsug, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gudbodfotsug's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gudbodfotsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Worship no other gods but Gudbodfotsug.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

Tiplipfat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured hare.

Tiplipfat created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiplipfat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tiplipfat, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tiplipfat's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tiplipfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare beans during winter.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Tiplipfat's priests.

5. Never feed peanuts to porpoises while wearing coats.

Besstofkap is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, tranquil goose.

Besstofkap created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Besstofkap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Besstofkap, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Besstofkap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Besstofkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare cherries while wearing corsets.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help sick ducks.

4. Never mark doors with pink.

5. Always wash your hands before prayer.

Butdinjabfot is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, irritating hummingbird.

Butdinjabfot created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butdinjabfot, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Butdinjabfot, he will destroy your favourite star.

Butdinjabfot's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Butdinjabfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven horses in a large pit.

2. Do not take Butdinjabfot's name in vain.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Retreat if five snails approach from the east.

Huddutquim is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish owl.

Huddutquim created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Huddutquim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Huddutquim, he will refuse to believe in you.

Huddutquim's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Huddutquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Do not sit at crossroads.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midday.