Vonpangkon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, proud beaver.

Vonpangkon created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonpangkon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonpangkon, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vonpangkon's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vonpangkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Always wash your legs before prayer.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonpangkon.

4. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Vonpangkon on top of important buildings.

5. Pray only in shadows.

Cimlamjat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unselfish wren.

Cimlamjat created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimlamjat, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cimlamjat, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cimlamjat's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Cimlamjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Cimlamjat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Do not gather at towers at dusk.

Bigpombus is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective wolf.

Bigpombus created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigpombus, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bigpombus, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bigpombus' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bigpombus' Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at dusk.

2. Do not gather at bridges at midday.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

Naklinyarlomt is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, charitable pigeon.

Naklinyarlomt created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Naklinyarlomt, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Naklinyarlomt, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Naklinyarlomt's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Naklinyarlomt's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

2. Do not leap at crossroads.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Do not place nuts upon stone.

5. Never laugh in the presence of snakes.

Stipnegsog is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unthinking wombat.

Stipnegsog created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipnegsog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stipnegsog, it will come to you in dreams.

Stipnegsog's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Stipnegsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Stipnegsog's name in vain.

2. Do not wear ear rings marked with blue.

3. You must pray to Stipnegsog eight times a day.

4. Never wear violet trousers on sacred days.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Wigflamlen is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, strong octopus.

Wigflamlen created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wigflamlen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wigflamlen, it will turn you into a mouse.

Wigflamlen's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Wigflamlen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

3. Run away if eight sharks approach from the east.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Mitarfladrut is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, quiet mole.

Mitarfladrut created the Tadpole Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitarfladrut, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mitarfladrut, it will be mildly annoyed.

Mitarfladrut's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Mitarfladrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn stockings.

2. Always obey Mitarfladrut's priests.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.

Bodcebnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bodcebnurt created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodcebnurt, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bodcebnurt, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bodcebnurt's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bodcebnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

2. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Never fashion tools from stone.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.