Libcapnat is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust whale.

Libcapnat created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Libcapnat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Libcapnat, she will laugh at you.

Libcapnat's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Libcapnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Kenfebdit is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, emotional cat.

Kenfebdit created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kenfebdit, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kenfebdit, she will turn you into a frog.

Kenfebdit's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Kenfebdit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never wear magenta dresses.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

Ponhindabster is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fast wolf.

Ponhindabster created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponhindabster, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ponhindabster, she will remove you from existence.

Ponhindabster's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Ponhindabster's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Never wear gray stockings on sacred days.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

Hotfembid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart gerbil.

Hotfembid created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Hotfembid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hotfembid, it will turn you into a goat.

Hotfembid's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hotfembid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with birds.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Hide from purple whales for they are unholy.

Wotpadrip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ill-tempered dog.

Wotpadrip created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotpadrip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotpadrip, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wotpadrip's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Wotpadrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wotpadrip.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.

Fudfarnbet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonourable bird.

Fudfarnbet created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudfarnbet, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fudfarnbet, it will turn you into a slug.

Fudfarnbet's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fudfarnbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with indigo.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Never touch oil while clean.

4. Never approach forests carrying clay.

5. Never think about dark matter near hamsters while wearing magenta shorts and balancing three zinc spheres on your arms.

Queeghatfom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy tapir.

Queeghatfom created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeghatfom, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Queeghatfom, it will manifest in front of you.

Queeghatfom's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Queeghatfom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Never adorn your face with violet markings.

4. Never record names.

5. Never mix rice with oil.

Bell is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical lion.

Bell created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bell, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bell, he will torture you forever.

Bell's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

3. Do not fashion tools from copper.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Hide from turquoise cats for they are unholy.