Wodripzag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless ferret.

Wodripzag created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodripzag, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wodripzag, it will turn you into a dog.

Wodripzag's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Wodripzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near sharks while wearing blue shoes.

2. Hide from yellow goats for they are unholy.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with hamsters.

Mapfenkar Wangodflap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonourable octopus.

Mapfenkar Wangodflap created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapfenkar Wangodflap, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mapfenkar Wangodflap, he will turn you into a sheep.

Mapfenkar Wangodflap's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Mapfenkar Wangodflap's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always remove shoes before touching lead.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Wipbunnel is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless octopus.

Wipbunnel created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Wipbunnel, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wipbunnel, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Wipbunnel's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Wipbunnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of numbers.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wipbunnel.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Wipbunnel in the centre of the settlement.

5. You must love Wipbunnel.

Kanmuthim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, conceited finch.

Kanmuthim created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanmuthim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kanmuthim, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Kanmuthim's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kanmuthim's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Never remain prostrate at midday.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never look in ponds.

Mutmablig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unjust jellyfish.

Mutmablig created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mutmablig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Mutmablig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Mutmablig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Mutmablig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Never talk about grasshopers.

3. Do not eat cucumbers.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Do not laugh in public.

Flabcumquam is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthoughtful elephant.

Flabcumquam created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabcumquam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flabcumquam, he will try to impress you with trees.

Flabcumquam's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Flabcumquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Flabcumquam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Never sing in spring.

Mettadmet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, idiotic scorpion.

Mettadmet created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mettadmet, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mettadmet, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mettadmet's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Mettadmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve shoes on sacred days.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Do not sit at rivers.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not listen to music.

Betjam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous hydra.

Betjam created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Betjam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Betjam, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Betjam's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Betjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never wear cyan ear rings.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.