Armjamrap is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, egotistical crab.

Armjamrap created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Armjamrap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Armjamrap, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Armjamrap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Armjamrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never jump in the presence of elders.

5. Never run in holy places.

Dinranmum is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful rat.

Dinranmum created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinranmum, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dinranmum, she will turn you into a duck.

Dinranmum's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Dinranmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Dinranmum loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about special relativity.

Nakranfar is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered gnu.

Nakranfar created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nakranfar, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nakranfar, it will turn you into a puffin.

Nakranfar's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Nakranfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges on days of mourning.

2. Never allow ants to witness sacred rites.

3. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

4. Never record signs.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Dit is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, strong jackal.

Dit created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dit, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dit's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dit's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never touch oil while blessed.

3. Never stain your neck with brown.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Never gather five moths near towers.

Hakmutbem is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-powerful dragonfly.

Hakmutbem created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Hakmutbem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hakmutbem, she will try to impress you with trees.

Hakmutbem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hakmutbem's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never gather four great tits near wells.

4. Always wear red.

5. Always treat sheep with great respect.

Dinjabgof is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic bird.

Dinjabgof created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dinjabgof, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dinjabgof, she will throw large rocks at you.

Dinjabgof's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Dinjabgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never allow tortoises to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near gulls while wearing orange hats and balancing five iron spheres on your back.

4. Never feed tomatoes to snails while wearing stockings.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Aflapquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless weasel.

Aflapquaf created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Aflapquaf, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Aflapquaf, he will think nothing of it.

Aflapquaf's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Aflapquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not keep eight frogs in a large pit.

3. Hide if three mites approach from the south.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Never hop in holy places.

Dav is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unselfish fox.

Dav created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Dav, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dav, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dav's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

2. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

3. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.