Ligquimflyhinjenhudmonrut is a god.

He takes the form of a large, amazing salamander.

Ligquimflyhinjenhudmonrut created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligquimflyhinjenhudmonrut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ligquimflyhinjenhudmonrut, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ligquimflyhinjenhudmonrut's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Ligquimflyhinjenhudmonrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never mark doors with turquoise.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Tanyarvil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful mouse.

Tanyarvil created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tanyarvil, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tanyarvil, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tanyarvil's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tanyarvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Never cross mountains at dawn.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never look at planets.

Cidcabkan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, emotional ant.

Cidcabkan created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidcabkan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cidcabkan, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cidcabkan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cidcabkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never point your hands toward the west during prayer.

3. Always store tomatoes above ground.

4. Never cross forests at midnight.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Hanbusbid is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, kind mole.

Hanbusbid created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanbusbid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hanbusbid, he will destroy your home solar system.

Hanbusbid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hanbusbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Hanbusbid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Never hurt nematodes.

5. Do not fashion tools from titanium.

Tofzogzod is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient jellyfish.

Tofzogzod created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofzogzod, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tofzogzod, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tofzogzod's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tofzogzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Never mix beans with ash.

3. Never stain your legs with purple.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Tofzogzod in the centre of the settlement.

Catgepgebmob is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, self-confident whale.

Catgepgebmob created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Catgepgebmob, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Catgepgebmob, she will torture you forever.

Catgepgebmob's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Catgepgebmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan jumpers on sacred days.

2. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

3. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

4. Do not kill foxes.

5. Hide from black voles for they are unholy.

Manbifstip is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow fish.

Manbifstip created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Manbifstip, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Manbifstip, he will be very sad.

Manbifstip's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Manbifstip's Holy Commandments

1. Moths are not to be trusted.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Manbifstip.

3. Always store nuts above ground.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Manbifstip on top of all buildings.

Vilbamcatkad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish monkey.

Vilbamcatkad created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilbamcatkad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vilbamcatkad, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vilbamcatkad's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vilbamcatkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after voles.

2. Never hop in the presence of porpoises.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

4. Always look after injured mice.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.