Tammabcub is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, staggering elephant.

Tammabcub created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tammabcub, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tammabcub, it will turn you into a dog.

Tammabcub's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tammabcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons on holy days.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help seals in need.

5. Always obey Tammabcub's priests.

Bamdudlitdub is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic cat.

Bamdudlitdub created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamdudlitdub, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bamdudlitdub, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bamdudlitdub's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bamdudlitdub's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

4. Always share parsnips with strangers, but never with tapirs.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing zebra.

Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn, she will turn you into a tree.

Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tamgankanbodtimbonkvinlarn.

2. Never allow goats to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never bounce near ducks.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never mark doors with red.

Pomzodsand is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident meerkat.

Pomzodsand created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pomzodsand, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pomzodsand, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pomzodsand's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Pomzodsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never gather three pigs near towers.

3. Do not prepare carrots while wearing skirts.

4. Always wear white.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Tendoblid is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, merciful aardvark.

Tendoblid created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tendoblid, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tendoblid, it will cry a lot.

Tendoblid's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tendoblid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Tendoblid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

5. Never hop near sharks.

Zaksatfagfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy owl.

Zaksatfagfoss created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Zaksatfagfoss, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zaksatfagfoss, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zaksatfagfoss' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zaksatfagfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always help seals in need.

4. Never handle gold while unclean.

5. Never wear cyan shirts.

Flamnartrag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, impressive mongoose.

Flamnartrag created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flamnartrag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flamnartrag, she will turn you into a duck.

Flamnartrag's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flamnartrag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Never handle iron while unclean.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never wear yellow corsets on sacred days.

Gepsawmat is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, loving slug.

Gepsawmat created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gepsawmat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gepsawmat, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gepsawmat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gepsawmat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Gepsawmat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Do not take Gepsawmat's name in vain.

5. Always stare at clouds.