Kemlanyat is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humane goose.

Kemlanyat created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemlanyat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kemlanyat, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kemlanyat's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Kemlanyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Never gather nine badgers near doors.

4. Do not keep five seals in a large pit.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Bimsadmeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, generous bat.

Bimsadmeg created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimsadmeg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bimsadmeg, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Bimsadmeg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bimsadmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Do not prepare nuts while filled with anger.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.

Mongessnel is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, slow crocodile.

Mongessnel created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mongessnel, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mongessnel, she will cry a lot.

Mongessnel's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Mongessnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Run away from turquoise foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Always share cherries with strangers, but never with ants.

4. Never jump in the presence of turtles.

5. Always help sick whales.

Xucjenran is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fast octopus.

Xucjenran created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xucjenran, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Xucjenran, she will think nothing of it.

Xucjenran's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Xucjenran's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Never wear indigo shoes on sacred days.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never wear coats.

Nurcumwon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, almighty penguin.

Nurcumwon created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcumwon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurcumwon, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurcumwon's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Nurcumwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black shorts.

2. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

3. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with cats.

4. Do not keep nine eagles in a large pit.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near horses while wearing gray scarves and balancing eight lead spheres on your neck.

Quaglitwig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, capable skunk.

Quaglitwig created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quaglitwig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quaglitwig, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quaglitwig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Quaglitwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Quaglitwig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Watlogbag Yoggilmip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful centipede.

Watlogbag Yoggilmip created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watlogbag Yoggilmip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Watlogbag Yoggilmip, he will strike you with lightening.

Watlogbag Yoggilmip's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Watlogbag Yoggilmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

2. Ducks are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear mauve stockings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Jambogbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless finch.

Jambogbiss created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Jambogbiss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jambogbiss, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jambogbiss' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jambogbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.

3. Run away if six birds approach from the north.

4. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.