Cubhabort is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest faun.

Cubhabort created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Cubhabort, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cubhabort, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cubhabort's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cubhabort's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

2. Never talk about bats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.

Homjarndud Kemgarwabced is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, generous raven.

Homjarndud Kemgarwabced created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Homjarndud Kemgarwabced, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Homjarndud Kemgarwabced, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Homjarndud Kemgarwabced's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Homjarndud Kemgarwabced's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Never feed lots of peanuts to great tits while wearing violet dresses.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Luntikab is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, weak hedgehog.

Luntikab created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Luntikab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Luntikab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Luntikab's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Luntikab's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midday.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Never jump near cats.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed lentils to birds while wearing white shorts.

Stafgidsog is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, two-faced manatee.

Stafgidsog created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafgidsog, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Stafgidsog, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Stafgidsog's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Stafgidsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always store tomatoes above ground.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

Basscissrat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, able dragon.

Basscissrat created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Basscissrat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Basscissrat, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Basscissrat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Basscissrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

2. Run away from violet turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Put Basscissrat first in all things.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

Shavrip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome tapir.

Shavrip created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavrip, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Shavrip, it will turn you into a hamster.

Shavrip's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Shavrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix carrots with oil.

2. Never handle zinc while unclean.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about black holes.

Xucmaplit Pidhivkad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain gerbil.

Xucmaplit Pidhivkad created the Black Eye Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucmaplit Pidhivkad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xucmaplit Pidhivkad, it will turn you into a slug.

Xucmaplit Pidhivkad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Xucmaplit Pidhivkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in summer.

2. You must pray to Xucmaplit Pidhivkad nine times a day.

3. Never pray while filled with joy.

4. Always help sick eagles.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

Dudbumflag is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, capable tortoise.

Dudbumflag created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudbumflag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dudbumflag, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dudbumflag's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dudbumflag's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

4. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.