Ranbarnwat Honcidbin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, stupid meerkat.

Ranbarnwat Honcidbin created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranbarnwat Honcidbin, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ranbarnwat Honcidbin, it will not care.

Ranbarnwat Honcidbin's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ranbarnwat Honcidbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never travel toward the east during spring.

5. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

Jabdagloop is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, quiet scorpion.

Jabdagloop created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabdagloop, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Jabdagloop, he will send you a sign.

Jabdagloop's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Jabdagloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick otters.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about optics near pigs while wearing magenta trousers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

Mabhatzig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unjust faun.

Mabhatzig created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabhatzig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mabhatzig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mabhatzig's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Mabhatzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always store aubergines above ground.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Run away if nine whales approach from the west.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

Rowmutkan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish horse.

Rowmutkan created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowmutkan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Rowmutkan, she will torture you forever.

Rowmutkan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Rowmutkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never proclaim while facing south.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Rowmutkan on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Labbomjat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, charitable hedgehog.

Labbomjat created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labbomjat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labbomjat, he will not care.

Labbomjat's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Labbomjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during spring.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

Libpibfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic duck.

Libpibfoss created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Libpibfoss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Libpibfoss, she will have a low opinion of you.

Libpibfoss' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Libpibfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Libpibfoss.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always obey Libpibfoss' priests.

Cadken is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish meerkat.

Cadken created silver four years ago.

If you believe in Cadken, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cadken, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cadken's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cadken's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cadken.

2. You must pray to Cadken nine times a day.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Worship no other gods but Cadken.

5. Never paint your feet brown.

Stankadfen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast bat.

Stankadfen created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stankadfen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Stankadfen, she will turn you into a mole.

Stankadfen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Stankadfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Stankadfen's priests.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Never allow ants to sleep beneath your roof.