Neghitnul is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, selfish walrus.

Neghitnul created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Neghitnul, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Neghitnul, it will torture you forever.

Neghitnul's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Neghitnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare onions while filled with fear.

2. Do not prepare nuts while wearing ear rings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.

Labgidgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, idiotic troll.

Labgidgeb created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labgidgeb, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Labgidgeb, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Labgidgeb's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Labgidgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Labgidgeb.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Gessrapsat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, charitable beaver.

Gessrapsat created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessrapsat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gessrapsat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gessrapsat's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gessrapsat's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not wear rings marked with violet.

4. Never leap in spring.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Tofmip is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, impressive dolphin.

Tofmip created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Tofmip, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tofmip, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Tofmip's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tofmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle platinum while unclean.

2. Always help sick capybaras.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Retreat if four cats approach from the south.

Raggabpak is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, generous hare.

Raggabpak created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raggabpak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Raggabpak, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Raggabpak's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Raggabpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Retreat if nine moths approach from the north.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Vilrutthab is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty fairy.

Vilrutthab created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Vilrutthab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vilrutthab, it will turn you into a worm.

Vilrutthab's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vilrutthab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not gather at towers at midday.

3. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Vilrutthab.

5. Never feed lots of coconuts to horses while wearing orange dresses.

Minyarttal is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, annoying dolphin.

Minyarttal created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minyarttal, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Minyarttal, he will turn you into a goat.

Minyarttal's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Minyarttal's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always look after injured moths.

Kapflandod is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, awesome owl.

Kapflandod created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapflandod, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kapflandod, it will turn you into a puffin.

Kapflandod's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Kapflandod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Kapflandod must be the most important thing in your life.