Dutdagflag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing fish.

Dutdagflag created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutdagflag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dutdagflag, he will turn you into a goat.

Dutdagflag's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Dutdagflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

3. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

4. Do not name children after nematodes.

5. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

Tenvidzag is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, passionate hippopotamus.

Tenvidzag created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tenvidzag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tenvidzag, he will destroy your home planet.

Tenvidzag's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tenvidzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

Cemjanmut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless finch.

Cemjanmut created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemjanmut, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cemjanmut, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cemjanmut's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Cemjanmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear skirts marked with red.

2. Run away if eight badgers approach from the east.

3. Never feed grapes to otters while wearing coats.

4. Run away from gray gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Pray towards the north.

Hintonkbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a small, generous alligator.

Hintonkbonk created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hintonkbonk, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hintonkbonk, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hintonkbonk's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hintonkbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must love Hintonkbonk.

4. Do not kill whales.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Gebbidjen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, idiotic warg.

Gebbidjen created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebbidjen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gebbidjen, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gebbidjen's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gebbidjen's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Never proclaim while facing west.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Never allow seals to sleep beneath your roof.

Godjarnnullzog is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy pig.

Godjarnnullzog created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Godjarnnullzog, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Godjarnnullzog, he will make you grow a tail.

Godjarnnullzog's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Godjarnnullzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Always help sick eagles.

5. Pray towards the east.

Dintalran Lenfothiv is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless goat.

Dintalran Lenfothiv created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dintalran Lenfothiv, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dintalran Lenfothiv, she will turn you into a mouse.

Dintalran Lenfothiv's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Dintalran Lenfothiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

2. Do not travel during winter.

3. You must pray to Dintalran Lenfothiv five times a day.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

5. Never cross rivers at dusk.

Hubquatyak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, selfish swan.

Hubquatyak created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubquatyak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hubquatyak, it will turn you into a sheep.

Hubquatyak's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Hubquatyak's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing boots.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.