Titdadtag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, witless rat.

Titdadtag created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Titdadtag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Titdadtag, she will turn you into a duck.

Titdadtag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Titdadtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

5. Titdadtag must be the most important thing in your life.

Sagmipsan is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, calm zebra.

Sagmipsan created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagmipsan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sagmipsan, she will refuse to believe in you.

Sagmipsan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sagmipsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing red skirts and balancing nine silver spheres on your feet.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never mark doors with green.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Gomtimflagjig Jigfat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying goblin.

Gomtimflagjig Jigfat created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomtimflagjig Jigfat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomtimflagjig Jigfat, she will refuse to believe in you.

Gomtimflagjig Jigfat's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gomtimflagjig Jigfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Rillwonlik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless dolphin.

Rillwonlik created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillwonlik, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rillwonlik, he will not invite you to parties.

Rillwonlik's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Rillwonlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shirts marked with white.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed coconuts to squirrels while wearing mauve corsets.

Bemripjen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive horse.

Bemripjen created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemripjen, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bemripjen, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bemripjen's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bemripjen's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never whisper while facing east.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Stikfonjon is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonest crab.

Stikfonjon created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stikfonjon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stikfonjon, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stikfonjon's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Stikfonjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Never mix onions with water.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

5. Always remove coats before touching nickel.

Titsterved is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fast tortoise.

Titsterved created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titsterved, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Titsterved, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Titsterved's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Titsterved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

2. Never touch ash while unclean.

3. Titsterved must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Never sit near doves.

Zenmonyik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, dishonest mink.

Zenmonyik created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zenmonyik, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zenmonyik, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Zenmonyik's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Zenmonyik's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Never sing in autumn.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.