Jinfligtin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful turtle.

Jinfligtin created the Sunflower Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinfligtin, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinfligtin, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jinfligtin's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jinfligtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record names concerning comets.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

Stanrapzed is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, impressive raccoon.

Stanrapzed created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanrapzed, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stanrapzed, he will turn you into a hamster.

Stanrapzed's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Stanrapzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always remove corsets before touching nickel.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

Abflanfut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy skunk.

Abflanfut created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abflanfut, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Abflanfut, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Abflanfut's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Abflanfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Do not name children after monkeys.

5. Never think about special relativity near mites while wearing fawn boots and balancing six zinc spheres on your neck.

Linfotont is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind otter.

Linfotont created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linfotont, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Linfotont, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Linfotont's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Linfotont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Never sprint near grasshopers.

Fumhadgep is a god.

It takes the form of a small, omniscient wyrm.

Fumhadgep created the Virgo Supercluster two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumhadgep, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fumhadgep, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fumhadgep's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fumhadgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

3. Never think about special relativity near squirrels while wearing magenta dresses and balancing four silicon spheres on your feet.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Ditzeddibteen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, contented raven.

Ditzeddibteen created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditzeddibteen, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditzeddibteen, she will jump up and down on your head.

Ditzeddibteen's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Ditzeddibteen's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never sing in autumn.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

Huglibfat is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-confident armadillo.

Huglibfat created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Huglibfat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Huglibfat, she will destroy your home planet.

Huglibfat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Huglibfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never allow moths to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never stain your feet with magenta.

Podnad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, competent eagle.

Podnad created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podnad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Podnad, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Podnad's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Podnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Podnad.

5. Always wear indigo.