Fomquillgof is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, contented crane.

Fomquillgof created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomquillgof, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fomquillgof, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fomquillgof's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fomquillgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never run in the presence of rats.

4. Never leap in the presence of elders.

5. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

Bedloopyok Tadwipquamdim Metcadcum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic guinea pig.

Bedloopyok Tadwipquamdim Metcadcum created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedloopyok Tadwipquamdim Metcadcum, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bedloopyok Tadwipquamdim Metcadcum, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bedloopyok Tadwipquamdim Metcadcum's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bedloopyok Tadwipquamdim Metcadcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat oranges on days of mourning.

3. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Gedzakjop is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, egotistical duck.

Gedzakjop created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedzakjop, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gedzakjop, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gedzakjop's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gedzakjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

Gemarmtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful guinea pig.

Gemarmtonk created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemarmtonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gemarmtonk, it will turn you into a rock.

Gemarmtonk's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gemarmtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Never stain your arms with black.

5. Do not prepare limes while filled with anger.

Stafligdob is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, all-powerful wyrm.

Stafligdob created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafligdob, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stafligdob, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Stafligdob's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Stafligdob's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Stafligdob eight times a day.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Always share tomatoes with strangers, but never with otters.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Motbomflymob is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful weasel.

Motbomflymob created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Motbomflymob, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Motbomflymob, it will turn you into a worm.

Motbomflymob's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Motbomflymob's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midnight.

2. Worship no other gods but Motbomflymob.

3. Do not speak about lentils.

4. Always help mice in need.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Zodyaknad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, able dolphin.

Zodyaknad created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Zodyaknad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zodyaknad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zodyaknad's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Zodyaknad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Dodlunvig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful newt.

Dodlunvig created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodlunvig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dodlunvig, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dodlunvig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Dodlunvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with yellow markings.

2. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

3. Never gather seven rats near bridges.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing purple boots and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

5. Never sprint in holy places.