Baffidnad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, capable bee.

Baffidnad created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Baffidnad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Baffidnad, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Baffidnad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Baffidnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of apples to shrews while wearing green scarves.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

3. Never paint your legs indigo.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.

Linappdon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, thoughtless crocodile.

Linappdon created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linappdon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Linappdon, it will torture you forever.

Linappdon's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Linappdon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight aardvarks approach from the east.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

5. Never allow tortoises to sleep beneath your roof.

Dutflabfas Motrulloop is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless naga.

Dutflabfas Motrulloop created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutflabfas Motrulloop, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dutflabfas Motrulloop, he will send you a sign.

Dutflabfas Motrulloop's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Dutflabfas Motrulloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never feed grapes to otters while wearing rings.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

Mipdimgad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful porpoise.

Mipdimgad created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mipdimgad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mipdimgad, it will have a low opinion of you.

Mipdimgad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Mipdimgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix aubergines with water.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Never feed carrots to capybaras while wearing trousers.

4. Feed all hungry dolphins.

5. Do not prepare rice while filled with joy.

Artcunkop is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able fox.

Artcunkop created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Artcunkop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Artcunkop, he will turn you into a mole.

Artcunkop's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Artcunkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow gulls to witness sacred rites.

2. Always store lemons above ground.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Never eat carrots.

Rowlenton is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous salamander.

Rowlenton created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Rowlenton, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rowlenton, she will turn you into a duck.

Rowlenton's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Rowlenton's Holy Commandments

1. Put Rowlenton first in all things.

2. Never gather eight doves in one place.

3. Never eat peanuts on fasting days.

4. Never point your neck toward the north during prayer.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

Fenlabart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, capable squid.

Fenlabart created the Tadpole Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenlabart, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fenlabart, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fenlabart's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fenlabart's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

3. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with ants.

4. Never talk about spacetime near geese while wearing fawn shorts and balancing seven lead spheres on your back.

5. Never jump in spring.

Cit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, vain jellyfish.

Cit created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cit, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cit's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Cit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Never speak the names of comets aloud.