Bugcinjatgessfob is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, ruthless fly.

Bugcinjatgessfob created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugcinjatgessfob, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bugcinjatgessfob, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bugcinjatgessfob's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bugcinjatgessfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Never touch water while tainted.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Never travel toward the east during summer.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Pitdunkab Rigxenbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, two-faced squirrel.

Pitdunkab Rigxenbeg created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitdunkab Rigxenbeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pitdunkab Rigxenbeg, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pitdunkab Rigxenbeg's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Pitdunkab Rigxenbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle nickel while unclean.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always share figs with strangers, but never with swans.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

Fetzakmut Flatvag is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, caring bee.

Fetzakmut Flatvag created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetzakmut Flatvag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fetzakmut Flatvag, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fetzakmut Flatvag's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fetzakmut Flatvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Hide if six capybaras approach from the north.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fetzakmut Flatvag.

Littapyok is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate rhinoceros.

Littapyok created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Littapyok, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Littapyok, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Littapyok's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Littapyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple hats on sacred days.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never prepare tomatoes during winter.

4. Never think about dark matter near pigs while wearing violet coats and balancing six tin spheres on your face.

5. Heed all visions.

Floweeaf Shavrowfas is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, contented yak.

Floweeaf Shavrowfas created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Floweeaf Shavrowfas, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Floweeaf Shavrowfas, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Floweeaf Shavrowfas' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Floweeaf Shavrowfas' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Always obey Floweeaf Shavrowfas' priests.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to mice while wearing red tights.

Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody dugong.

Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always store bananas above ground.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Wip is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered lizard.

Wip created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wip, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wip's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Wip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume pineapples at dawn.

2. You must never eat wheat.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always treat ducks with great respect.

5. Never mention cats.

Labnellwot is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, effective hydra.

Labnellwot created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labnellwot, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Labnellwot, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Labnellwot's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Labnellwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Never laugh near gulls.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Put Labnellwot first in all things.