Vadcubcemgut is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, boastful hydra.

Vadcubcemgut created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vadcubcemgut, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vadcubcemgut, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vadcubcemgut's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vadcubcemgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of eagles.

2. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed pineapples to tortoises while wearing black hats.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Moblambut is a god.

It takes the form of a large, two-faced finch.

Moblambut created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Moblambut, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Moblambut, it will destroy your home planet.

Moblambut's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Moblambut's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never whisper while facing east.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Febnig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless faun.

Febnig created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febnig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Febnig, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Febnig's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Febnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

2. Do not keep four voles in a large pit.

3. Never leap near swans.

4. Do not resist balance.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Pangquafjiptaf is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic squid.

Pangquafjiptaf created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangquafjiptaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pangquafjiptaf, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pangquafjiptaf's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Pangquafjiptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Pangquafjiptaf in the centre of the settlement.

5. Feed all hungry snails.

Tafkonnil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking frog.

Tafkonnil created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafkonnil, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tafkonnil, it will be very sad.

Tafkonnil's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tafkonnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to gulls while wearing jumpers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Ragteenyart is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, awesome dolphin.

Ragteenyart created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragteenyart, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ragteenyart, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ragteenyart's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Ragteenyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Always help frogs.

Gidsadtad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, kind goose.

Gidsadtad created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidsadtad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gidsadtad, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gidsadtad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gidsadtad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear black ear rings.

Bentimgom is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, clever lizard.

Bentimgom created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bentimgom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bentimgom, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bentimgom's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bentimgom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Bentimgom in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed lots of bananas to shrews while wearing pink skirts.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.