Gamraglat is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, wise narwhal.

Gamraglat created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gamraglat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gamraglat, she will be very unhappy.

Gamraglat's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gamraglat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Never paint your back pink.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

5. Always wash your head before prayer.

Kimdagart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent human.

Kimdagart created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Kimdagart, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kimdagart, she will curse you with boils.

Kimdagart's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Kimdagart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with eagles.

5. Always act with humility.

Mutxemvid is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, passionate manatee.

Mutxemvid created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutxemvid, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mutxemvid, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mutxemvid's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Mutxemvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat goats with great respect.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Mutxemvid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help sick ducks.

4. Never curse while facing west.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Gargedjabhig is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, cheerful deer.

Gargedjabhig created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Gargedjabhig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gargedjabhig, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gargedjabhig's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gargedjabhig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four dolphins approach from the west.

2. Always treat seals with great respect.

3. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

5. Never sing near mice.

Sancetbell is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, vain owl.

Sancetbell created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sancetbell, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sancetbell, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sancetbell's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Sancetbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

2. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

3. Erect a giant red sculpture of Sancetbell in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always wear black.

5. Do not take Sancetbell's name in vain.

Jopgofquam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, amazing elephant.

Jopgofquam created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopgofquam, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jopgofquam, he will turn you into a dog.

Jopgofquam's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Jopgofquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silicon while unclean.

2. Hide from blue ducks for they are unholy.

3. Never sing in autumn.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Jopgofquam on top of important buildings.

5. Never adorn your back with black markings.

Ligjopsidlop Zansogpadlopgidtipbut is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, bad-tempered swallow.

Ligjopsidlop Zansogpadlopgidtipbut created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligjopsidlop Zansogpadlopgidtipbut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ligjopsidlop Zansogpadlopgidtipbut, she will turn you into a mouse.

Ligjopsidlop Zansogpadlopgidtipbut's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ligjopsidlop Zansogpadlopgidtipbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in spring.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Respect your elders.

Flanvolgod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humane owl.

Flanvolgod created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanvolgod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flanvolgod, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Flanvolgod's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flanvolgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

2. Always share cherries with strangers, but never with foxes.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Never cross mountains at dawn.