Bogfiglen is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent fish.

Bogfiglen created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogfiglen, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bogfiglen, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bogfiglen's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bogfiglen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never feed beans to tapirs while wearing gray hats.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must never eat bread.

Piglamkik is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, pitiless grasshopper.

Piglamkik created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Piglamkik, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Piglamkik, it will refuse to believe in you.

Piglamkik's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Piglamkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt capybaras.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Never hop in the presence of swans.

Quafnulraw is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unthinking fox.

Quafnulraw created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafnulraw, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quafnulraw, she will not invite you to parties.

Quafnulraw's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Quafnulraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain corsets during rituals.

2. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Otters are not to be trusted.

5. Hide if five grasshopers approach from the south.

Tadfutsog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonest fly.

Tadfutsog created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadfutsog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tadfutsog, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tadfutsog's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tadfutsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Do not wear dresses marked with brown.

4. Tadfutsog loves bats, so they must be respected.

5. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

Donhatjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent deer.

Donhatjarn created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donhatjarn, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Donhatjarn, it will not care.

Donhatjarn's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Donhatjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick squirrels.

2. Never travel toward the west during spring.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. You must love Donhatjarn.

5. Never proclaim while facing east.

Wapjarnsak Popdinmum is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, flying jackal.

Wapjarnsak Popdinmum created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapjarnsak Popdinmum, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wapjarnsak Popdinmum, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Wapjarnsak Popdinmum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Wapjarnsak Popdinmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing children.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never mention tapirs.

Fonnatvol is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise porpoise.

Fonnatvol created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonnatvol, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fonnatvol, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fonnatvol's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fonnatvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dogs.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Never bounce in the presence of voles.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

Kinpongem is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, confident crocodile.

Kinpongem created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Kinpongem, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kinpongem, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kinpongem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kinpongem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Do not place bananas upon stone.

3. Put Kinpongem first in all things.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.