Nartarpboss is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awe-inspiring hedgehog.

Nartarpboss created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nartarpboss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nartarpboss, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nartarpboss' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Nartarpboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must never eat peas.

Stiptonkcut is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful unicorn.

Stiptonkcut created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiptonkcut, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stiptonkcut, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Stiptonkcut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Stiptonkcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms indigo.

2. Never gather nine bats in one place.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed tomatoes to snakes while wearing hats.

Baplargnanmatnib is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, fast human.

Baplargnanmatnib created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Baplargnanmatnib, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Baplargnanmatnib, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Baplargnanmatnib's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Baplargnanmatnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Baplargnanmatnib loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never prepare rice during summer.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never think about black holes.

Dussvadtal is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unthoughtful mouse.

Dussvadtal created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Dussvadtal, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dussvadtal, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dussvadtal's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dussvadtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never paint your back red.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near goats while wearing white scarves and balancing five nickel spheres on your face.

Yimsagcin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, uncaring alligator.

Yimsagcin created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimsagcin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yimsagcin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yimsagcin's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yimsagcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Yimsagcin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Remain prostrate during prayer.

5. You must love Yimsagcin.

Citpinhat is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, sapient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Citpinhat created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citpinhat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Citpinhat, she will not care.

Citpinhat's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Citpinhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant at crossroads.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

4. Always help dogs in need.

5. Never point your neck toward the north during prayer.

Sasdibgad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered centaur.

Sasdibgad created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasdibgad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sasdibgad, she will turn you into a duck.

Sasdibgad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Sasdibgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Never sprint in autumn.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Sasdibgad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never allow aardvarks to sleep beneath your roof.

Dobjadteen Jab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate wyvern.

Dobjadteen Jab created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobjadteen Jab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dobjadteen Jab, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dobjadteen Jab's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dobjadteen Jab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near otters while wearing pink coats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.