Vigvabvedsug is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy octopus.

Vigvabvedsug created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigvabvedsug, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vigvabvedsug, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vigvabvedsug's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Vigvabvedsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Always help horses.

3. Never feed peas to dolphins while wearing violet coats.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near pigs while wearing mauve scarves.

5. Never look at moons.

Gigyimbon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, selfish weasel.

Gigyimbon created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigyimbon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gigyimbon, he will turn you into a tree.

Gigyimbon's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gigyimbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

Monxucktig is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, quiet weasel.

Monxucktig created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monxucktig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Monxucktig, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Monxucktig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Monxucktig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Monxucktig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never hop in the presence of elders.

3. Always wear black.

4. Never allow ants to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Gentailmon is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish skunk.

Gentailmon created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gentailmon, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gentailmon, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gentailmon's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gentailmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Always wear plain shoes during rituals.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Cudflanzod is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, pitiless cobra.

Cudflanzod created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudflanzod, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudflanzod, she will destroy your home planet.

Cudflanzod's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cudflanzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always cleanse water with water.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Never gather seven seals near bridges.

5. Never allow grasshopers to sleep beneath your roof.

Yarpfarnstik is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered wombat.

Yarpfarnstik created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfarnstik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpfarnstik, it will manifest in front of you.

Yarpfarnstik's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yarpfarnstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarpfarnstik.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

Larpnarbigxin is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ruthless raccoon.

Larpnarbigxin created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larpnarbigxin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larpnarbigxin, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Larpnarbigxin's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Larpnarbigxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet dresses on sacred days.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Run away from red pigs, for they are unholy.

Libwatvonkged is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, two-faced crane.

Libwatvonkged created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Libwatvonkged, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Libwatvonkged, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Libwatvonkged's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Libwatvonkged's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. You must love Libwatvonkged.

3. Do not speak about bread.

4. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

5. Do not wear shorts marked with red.