Fomdamxin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unfair dryad.

Fomdamxin created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomdamxin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fomdamxin, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fomdamxin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fomdamxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near hamsters while wearing green hats and balancing seven platinum spheres on your legs.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fomdamxin.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Always count to five before sleeping.

5. Never think ill of sick shrews.

Farkarfarnvad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, effective whale.

Farkarfarnvad created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farkarfarnvad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Farkarfarnvad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Farkarfarnvad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Farkarfarnvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not record signs concerning dwarf planets.

Dambabrow is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, kind hedgehog.

Dambabrow created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dambabrow, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dambabrow, it will destroy your favourite star.

Dambabrow's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dambabrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

2. Always count to eight before sleeping.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Never gather nine bats near walls.

5. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

Nurlcitbap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, pitiless crane.

Nurlcitbap created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlcitbap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlcitbap, it will not care at all.

Nurlcitbap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nurlcitbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.

2. Never wear brown corsets.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Never handle gold while unclean.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Loopbimzod is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient chicken.

Loopbimzod created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopbimzod, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Loopbimzod, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Loopbimzod's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Loopbimzod's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Put Loopbimzod first in all things.

3. Never feed lots of garlic to badgers while wearing indigo shorts.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not wear black clothing.

Yimfebtontag is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent dragon.

Yimfebtontag created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimfebtontag, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yimfebtontag, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yimfebtontag's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Yimfebtontag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never speak aloud of secrets.

3. Never handle silver while unclean.

4. Never travel toward the north during summer.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Watbopved Rotstigflig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy zebra.

Watbopved Rotstigflig created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watbopved Rotstigflig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Watbopved Rotstigflig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Watbopved Rotstigflig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Watbopved Rotstigflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

4. Never mention seals.

5. Never prepare garlic during winter.

Rilltarpvoggan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ruthless ferret.

Rilltarpvoggan created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilltarpvoggan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rilltarpvoggan, he will not care at all.

Rilltarpvoggan's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Rilltarpvoggan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never prepare gooseberries during summer.

3. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

4. Never stain your hands with purple.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.