List is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonest raccoon.

List created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in List, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in List, he will denounce you as a heretic.

List's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

List's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide from pink voles for they are unholy.

3. Run away if three tortoises approach from the north.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing green rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your hands.

5. Never feed spinach to dogs while wearing stockings.

Mitlakbif is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent beaver.

Mitlakbif created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitlakbif, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Mitlakbif, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Mitlakbif's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Mitlakbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Mitlakbif must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Gatzodarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, tiresome hare.

Gatzodarn created an atom eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatzodarn, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gatzodarn, she will turn you into a worm.

Gatzodarn's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gatzodarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing blue shoes and balancing nine gold spheres on your arms.

2. Gatzodarn loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Never approach rivers carrying clay.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Do not kill ants.

Zedhitcudzen is a god.

He takes the form of a small, impressive clam.

Zedhitcudzen created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedhitcudzen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zedhitcudzen, he will turn you into a snail.

Zedhitcudzen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zedhitcudzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Latjigpid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered yak.

Latjigpid created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latjigpid, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Latjigpid, she will turn you into a duck.

Latjigpid's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Latjigpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear hats marked with gray.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to turtles while wearing yellow ear rings.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Latjigpid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Gommifdum is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, competent grasshopper.

Gommifdum created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gommifdum, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gommifdum, it will make you grow a tail.

Gommifdum's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Gommifdum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip at mountains.

2. Never sit in the presence of moths.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

5. Never allow rats to sleep beneath your roof.

Vilrutthap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful dolphin.

Vilrutthap created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vilrutthap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vilrutthap, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vilrutthap's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vilrutthap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Gedjongen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient gerbil.

Gedjongen created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedjongen, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gedjongen, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gedjongen's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gedjongen's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not place rice upon stone.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Run away from orange great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.