Dissnulgab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, proud cat.

Dissnulgab created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissnulgab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissnulgab, he will turn you into a mole.

Dissnulgab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dissnulgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about swans.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never point your neck toward the east during prayer.

4. Never wear cyan corsets.

5. Do not hurt goats.

Yamtomvag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awesome donkey.

Yamtomvag created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Yamtomvag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yamtomvag, it will turn you into a slug.

Yamtomvag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Yamtomvag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Yamtomvag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Remain prostrate during prayer.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

Kanspagquill is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, calm cow.

Kanspagquill created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanspagquill, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kanspagquill, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kanspagquill's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Kanspagquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never gather eight cats near doors.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

Damkonham is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast tortoise.

Damkonham created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damkonham, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Damkonham, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Damkonham's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Damkonham's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near sheep while wearing black kilts and balancing five copper spheres on your legs.

2. Never hurt dolphins.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never record secrets.

Foddavsag Lopyakcentuncapvagcibbus is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, smart dolphin.

Foddavsag Lopyakcentuncapvagcibbus created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Foddavsag Lopyakcentuncapvagcibbus, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Foddavsag Lopyakcentuncapvagcibbus, she will turn you into a frog.

Foddavsag Lopyakcentuncapvagcibbus' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Foddavsag Lopyakcentuncapvagcibbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to swans while wearing tights.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Never travel toward the east during winter.

4. Never wear fawn jumpers.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.

Arnlimhad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, deceitful dove.

Arnlimhad created vertebrates five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnlimhad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arnlimhad, he will turn you into a plant.

Arnlimhad's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Arnlimhad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never cross rivers at midday.

Bamnarlak is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody wasp.

Bamnarlak created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamnarlak, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bamnarlak, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bamnarlak's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bamnarlak's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mark doors with violet.

3. Do not keep seven monkeys in a large pit.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Gonriltan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, capable dragon.

Gonriltan created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonriltan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gonriltan, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gonriltan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gonriltan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop at rivers.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Always look after injured hamsters.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near foxes while wearing fawn tights and balancing five silver spheres on your legs.