Fudkanhakdimzogmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent armadillo.

Fudkanhakdimzogmeg created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudkanhakdimzogmeg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fudkanhakdimzogmeg, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fudkanhakdimzogmeg's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fudkanhakdimzogmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Kankinfem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating toad.

Kankinfem created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kankinfem, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kankinfem, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kankinfem's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Kankinfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five grasshopers in a large pit.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

4. Kankinfem loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. You must pray to Kankinfem four times a day.

Foblarnweg is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, thoughtless fairy.

Foblarnweg created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Foblarnweg, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Foblarnweg, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Foblarnweg's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Foblarnweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never handle gold while unclean.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Dibbarntin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak dolphin.

Dibbarntin created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibbarntin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dibbarntin, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dibbarntin's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dibbarntin's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

2. Always help sick ants.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Dussnarlvil Fednegtun is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, competent pig.

Dussnarlvil Fednegtun created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussnarlvil Fednegtun, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dussnarlvil Fednegtun, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dussnarlvil Fednegtun's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dussnarlvil Fednegtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Hide if nine capybaras approach from the west.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never wear skirts.

Wegrawbug is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unfair dingo.

Wegrawbug created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wegrawbug, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wegrawbug, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wegrawbug's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Wegrawbug's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

5. Do not listen to music.

Gamjigved is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent naga.

Gamjigved created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamjigved, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gamjigved, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gamjigved's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gamjigved's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gamjigved.

3. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if nine goats approach from the south.

Hadbunjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, emotional cow.

Hadbunjarn created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadbunjarn, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hadbunjarn, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hadbunjarn's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Hadbunjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Run away from indigo shrews, for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Hadbunjarn's name in vain.

4. Never talk about special relativity near dogs while wearing purple tights.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.