Gepbedman is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, tiresome rat.

Gepbedman created the planet Venus four years ago.

If you believe in Gepbedman, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gepbedman, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gepbedman's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gepbedman's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing west.

2. Always remove scarves before touching carbon.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Do not sing at forests.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

Kombitpit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, happy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kombitpit created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kombitpit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kombitpit, he will not care.

Kombitpit's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kombitpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs.

2. Put Kombitpit first in all things.

3. Never stain your chest with brown.

4. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

5. Never talk about spacetime near eagles while wearing violet coats and balancing four nickel spheres on your legs.

Gumgabgep is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, almighty hyena.

Gumgabgep created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumgabgep, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gumgabgep, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Gumgabgep's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gumgabgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never mix parsnips with blood.

4. Never bounce near snakes.

5. Never look in ponds.

Bafdapbot is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, deceitful crane.

Bafdapbot created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bafdapbot, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bafdapbot, she will turn you into a frog.

Bafdapbot's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bafdapbot's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six sharks approach from the east.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bafdapbot on top of all buildings.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

5. Always obey Bafdapbot's priests.

Fubnellyarpyarl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish coyote.

Fubnellyarpyarl created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubnellyarpyarl, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fubnellyarpyarl, it will destroy your home solar system.

Fubnellyarpyarl's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fubnellyarpyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not kill foxes.

3. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

4. Never think about optics near manatees while wearing white boots and balancing nine titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Never paint your feet gray.

Kikmiggid Gabarploop is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, self-confident cat.

Kikmiggid Gabarploop created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Kikmiggid Gabarploop, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kikmiggid Gabarploop, he will not invite you to parties.

Kikmiggid Gabarploop's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Kikmiggid Gabarploop's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Never point your arms toward the east during prayer.

Vindodmip is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, self-confident fish.

Vindodmip created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vindodmip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vindodmip, he will destroy your home solar system.

Vindodmip's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Vindodmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always store grapes above ground.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Vindodmip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

5. Never eat wheat on fasting days.

Betgunfly is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, annoying squid.

Betgunfly created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Betgunfly, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Betgunfly, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Betgunfly's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Betgunfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Never cross mountains at midnight.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.