Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, idiotic bear.

Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yimarmbab Quafhakyim Ripyoglarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three great tits near walls.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Always share apples with strangers, but never with porpoises.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

Artkapbap is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, intelligent butterfly.

Artkapbap created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Artkapbap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Artkapbap, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Artkapbap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Artkapbap's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Never talk about eagles.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Never wear yellow coats.

5. Never cross forests at midday.

Vegkankim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring rat.

Vegkankim created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegkankim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vegkankim, he will turn you into a mole.

Vegkankim's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vegkankim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

5. Do not travel during summer.

Pogvendog is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, generous dryad.

Pogvendog created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogvendog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pogvendog, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pogvendog's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Pogvendog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sheep.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

Teennilldadcin Tennartdud is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, clever parrot.

Teennilldadcin Tennartdud created the Milkyway eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teennilldadcin Tennartdud, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Teennilldadcin Tennartdud, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Teennilldadcin Tennartdud's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Teennilldadcin Tennartdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

3. Never curse while facing north.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not fashion tools from iron.

Nelldagsaften is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unsympathetic bear.

Nelldagsaften created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Nelldagsaften, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nelldagsaften, she will turn you into a goat.

Nelldagsaften's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Nelldagsaften's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never hurt geese.

3. Never sit near otters.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

Matfubbell is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, clever centaur.

Matfubbell created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matfubbell, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matfubbell, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Matfubbell's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Matfubbell's Holy Commandments

1. Put Matfubbell first in all things.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Run away if seven ants approach from the east.

Yogjanrip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, wise goose.

Yogjanrip created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogjanrip, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yogjanrip, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Yogjanrip's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Yogjanrip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue horses for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Never feed wheat to tortoises while wearing gray trousers.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.