Mobcanmat is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome deer.

Mobcanmat created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobcanmat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mobcanmat, he will curse you with boils.

Mobcanmat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Mobcanmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never adorn your chest with yellow markings.

Jatxucksid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous hummingbird.

Jatxucksid created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jatxucksid, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jatxucksid, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jatxucksid's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Jatxucksid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near squirrels while wearing mauve stockings and balancing six lead spheres on your hands.

2. Always obey Jatxucksid's priests.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always remove scarves before touching silicon.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Benbagfub is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unsympathetic gerbil.

Benbagfub created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Benbagfub, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Benbagfub, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Benbagfub's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Benbagfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Do not resist chaos.

Buncedvabwon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, two-faced wombat.

Buncedvabwon created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Buncedvabwon, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Buncedvabwon, she will remove you from existence.

Buncedvabwon's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Buncedvabwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow turtles to witness sacred rites.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Buncedvabwon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

Babgetkon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ruthless ant.

Babgetkon created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babgetkon, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Babgetkon, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Babgetkon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Babgetkon's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

3. Never gather nine snails in one place.

4. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

5. Never wear tights.

Boncetrot is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, capable lizard.

Boncetrot created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Boncetrot, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Boncetrot, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Boncetrot's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Boncetrot's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Run away from fawn capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never hurt birds.

Dabnurlsigditnil is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, cheerful turtle.

Dabnurlsigditnil created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabnurlsigditnil, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dabnurlsigditnil, it will not care at all.

Dabnurlsigditnil's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dabnurlsigditnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always share melons with strangers, but never with grasshopers.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Never jump in summer.

Yaknarl is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, proud bird.

Yaknarl created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yaknarl, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yaknarl, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yaknarl's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Yaknarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Do not laugh at forests.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Run away if four otters approach from the east.