Fobtenfitgut Parkhogsafcudcebdap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy dragonfly.

Fobtenfitgut Parkhogsafcudcebdap created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fobtenfitgut Parkhogsafcudcebdap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobtenfitgut Parkhogsafcudcebdap, it will torture you forever.

Fobtenfitgut Parkhogsafcudcebdap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Fobtenfitgut Parkhogsafcudcebdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fobtenfitgut Parkhogsafcudcebdap.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Pidkipdap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, moody coyote.

Pidkipdap created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidkipdap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pidkipdap, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pidkipdap's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Pidkipdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Do not prepare turnips while filled with pride.

4. Always store carrots above ground.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pidkipdap.

Kap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering cat.

Kap created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kap, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Kap's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Kap's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at midday.

2. Do not place turnips upon stone.

3. Never handle titanium while unclean.

4. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.

Mifyarttom is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, benevolent beaver.

Mifyarttom created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifyarttom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mifyarttom, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Mifyarttom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Mifyarttom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mifyarttom's priests.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about gravity near snails while wearing yellow kilts.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Never approach forests carrying stone.

Gomcutloop is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, contented shrew.

Gomcutloop created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomcutloop, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gomcutloop, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gomcutloop's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gomcutloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Run away if eight dolphins approach from the north.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gomcutloop.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Kanbastwotcan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, fast ferret.

Kanbastwotcan created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Kanbastwotcan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kanbastwotcan, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Kanbastwotcan's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Kanbastwotcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kanbastwotcan.

4. Kanbastwotcan loves mites, so they must be respected.

5. Never stain your hands with white.

Mishugcebomt is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced gorilla.

Mishugcebomt created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mishugcebomt, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mishugcebomt, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Mishugcebomt's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Mishugcebomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not kill geese.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

Labdidhit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, cheerful naga.

Labdidhit created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Labdidhit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Labdidhit, he will manifest in front of you.

Labdidhit's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Labdidhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never leap in summer.

4. Do not record numbers concerning comets.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.