Bighashap is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, dishonest dragonfly.

Bighashap created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bighashap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bighashap, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bighashap's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bighashap's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while clean.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Never wear stockings.

Femzedlik is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, idiotic bear.

Femzedlik created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Femzedlik, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Femzedlik, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Femzedlik's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Femzedlik's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Femzedlik on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.

5. Never handle silicon while unclean.

Jigbuddiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, humane shrew.

Jigbuddiss created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jigbuddiss, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jigbuddiss, she will refuse to believe in you.

Jigbuddiss' most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Jigbuddiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never curse while facing east.

3. Erect four carbon sculptures of Jigbuddiss on top of important buildings.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Never talk about dark energy near seals while wearing cyan shirts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your face.

Litdubgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, conceited rat.

Litdubgeb created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litdubgeb, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Litdubgeb, he will throw large rocks at you.

Litdubgeb's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Litdubgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never stain your back with magenta.

5. Never gather eight moths in one place.

Tenjipontapp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, fast giraffe.

Tenjipontapp created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tenjipontapp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenjipontapp, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tenjipontapp's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tenjipontapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never pray while filled with joy.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not eat strawberries.

Rattagvil is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional hippopotamus.

Rattagvil created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rattagvil, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rattagvil, it will boil you in a big pot.

Rattagvil's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Rattagvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Never adorn your head with white markings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never feed lots of bread to horses while wearing mauve scarves.

5. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

Bimgatcar is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic goat.

Bimgatcar created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimgatcar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimgatcar, he will turn you into a frog.

Bimgatcar's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bimgatcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Run away from green whales, for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bimgatcar on top of all buildings.

4. You must love Bimgatcar.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Bifwadpadyattdub is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, fussy slug.

Bifwadpadyattdub created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifwadpadyattdub, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifwadpadyattdub, it will turn you into a slug.

Bifwadpadyattdub's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bifwadpadyattdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near great tits while wearing brown skirts and balancing seven gold spheres on your chest.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

3. Turtles are not to be trusted.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Do not fashion tools from carbon.